How many times have you cried???

[CareBayer]

How far are you into your first year and how many times have you come home and cried?

I've been off precepting for five weeks and have come home and cried three times....most of the time it's because I was so overwhelmed on the floor....once I almost started crying at the nurse's station because I was being pulled in a million directions!

How about you?

[trippinwitchu]

I am reading everyone's stories and it is just amazing how much stuff nurses have to go through. Does it have to be this difficult or troubling? I know I feel a lot better knowing I am not alone in feeling this way. I have been a nurse for just a year now. My 1st job was an absolute nightmare. I was being bounced around from preceptor to preceptor, taken advantage of, getting pulled off orientation too early, etc. I would go home with migraines

and I think I was even experiencing heart palpitations. It was horrible. However, I left that hospital and was able to get a job at hospital closer to home and in a very supportive unit. So far, so good. To everyone coming out of school and just starting out, hang in there, find someone you can talk to, and don't settle. Sometimes you may have to find another position elsewhere. You don't want to get to the point that you dread going into work. Life is too short for that. Thanks to everyone who posted here, it helped me out.

[SoundofMusic]

Seems to be a lot of us admit we do cry, and then there are those who DON'T admit that they cry, and seem to pretend like everything is always rosey.

So, either they are inhuman, or they just aren't honest, IMO.

If nurses could admit to each other how hard this is, give comfort to a co-worker, it would make it a bit easier.

[candyrain78]

Cried for the first time tonight. I am day 2 off orientation & had such a hard night with a patient, that I wanted to just sit there & sob. After a few tears rolled out I sucked it up & finished my night...crying all the way home in the car! I am not sure if I signed up for all of this...

[Dragonnurse1, ASN, RN]

CandyRain78, hang in there, things will get better. All of us have had certain patients that have made us cry, some that have made us angry and some we just wanted to strangle. Try to find someone to talk to or just vent here but it will get better.

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

It's when you realize that you CAN'T cry that you are in trouble......I started in oncology but after about 10 months of going home in tears every day.....I couldn't cry one day. Never be ashamed of tears.

[melissahunter2]

I cried my first night off orientation 7 months ago and I am almost 10 months into my first year I cry every now and a again.

My first night off orientation, which I had went from 8 weeks of day shift orientation to 4 weeks of night shift orientation, b/c I took the night shift postition when I get the job at the hosp.

That first night off orientation I was a mess, I got my report, I was susposed to only have 4 pt's right off orientation, they gave me 6 pt's. 3 of the 6 pt's came back to back to back from the cath lab during shift change at 7pm, and had drips out the wazoo, one had a bleed and one had a sheath. ALL had STAT labs, and orders.

Here is me in the Pyxis room BALLING, like a 5 y.o. I wasn't sure what MD to call, and my night preceptor wasn't the best at telling me what MD I needed to call at night b/c she just did it for me, and it's COMPLEATLY different at night calling the MD's than day shift calling the MD's b/c during the day the MD's are either at the hosp. or AWAKE . So OK I am the RN off orientation who do I call, The House MD, ok dosen;t cover that pt's MD, do I call the tele resident, or the cardiac fellow, RRRR..

My charge was breathing down my back asking me 10000 qestions, that I was scrambling to find the ans to. The call bells were going crazy, it seemed like every phone call was for me, and I was in complete dissarray, every pt.I swear was having v-tach including myself.

The unit clerk kept over head paging me every 10 seconds (I wanted to SCREAM), for things that the 3 CNA's on the floor could do, "Angie the pt. in room *** needs Ice", ok I run to get the pt. Ice, "Angie the pt. in room *** needs a blanket" I run to get a blanket, "Angie I need you to come to the nurses station" I run to the nurses station, the UC says to me, "I am going on break you have to put the 3 pt's charts that came from the cath lab together and enter their orders, and I want it done by the time I get back from my break, or I won't do it before I leave at 11pm" I had never put a pt's chart together before let alone 3 of them, the med's needed to be wrtten on the MEDEX and the pt's all had 10 pm Meds due, the orderes were incomplete, so the MD's needed to be called but it was rounding 10pm and I had no idea that after a certain time some MD's just don't return pages or phone calls. The pt's came at 7pm, why was the pt's chart not completed?

OH and giving report that morning to the Day shift my frist night off orientation was like sitting in the Electric Chair and being slowly fried. I was bombarded with 100000 questions, that I took forever for me to answer. I think I began crying during report.,Like WHYY DO I SUCK AT THIS??

HENCE the reason my first night off of orientation I was hysterical in the MED room, the bathroom, the car ride home, before I went to bed.

It has been a long road from that night and I know I only cry now when I am OVER TIRED, there is WAY too much chaos going on at once and I can;t get an answer from anyone, which is more frustration then anything. I have also learned to stop the unit clerk from paging me for things that the CNA's can do, and if I am doing a procedure, drawing labs, recieving the pt from the cah lab, not to bother me at that moment b/c I am with a pt. unless there is a problem with one of my pt's, or a RRT or a CODE on the floor.

Giving report In the morning I used to cry after b/c some of the day shift RN's were incredibly MEAN to me, why didn't you do this last night, why didn;t you call this MD last night? I would say I did 3 times and the MD didn;t call back, the house MD covers the MD at night along with 100 other MD's the House MD covers and gave me this order.. And the day RN's would keep me there for an extra 2 hours. I used to get so upset and cry on the way home like I was a bad RN.

BUT I have learned to deal with these RN's while giving report in the Morning, and most of the time they get the same pt. they had the day before, so when they ask me 100000 questions, I say you had the pt. yesterday, you know these answers, there was no change overnight. I am updating you, and where ever peaks your coursity that I didn't have time to go over in the chart with a fine tooh comb, you can find b/c the chart is right here and you had the pt. yesterday, so if you had these questions yesterday they are right here in front of you in the chart, that you could have looked though yesterday.

I am not going to jynx myself, b/c I just cried a couple of weeks ago b/c one of the nurses gave me a bunch of BS about a pt. I had taken care of 3 nights before that had a stroke the previos day and acted like it was my falt the pt. stroked out 2 days after I had taken care of the pt.. And my Chrage said to me I need to talk to you about said pt. I caught my self, and said to both RN's, I have been off for the last 2 days. the pt. was stable when I gave report 3 days ago. Why are you comming down on me for something that happened 2 days after I had taken care of the pt. and i wasn't even working the last few nights. They both said OH, I thought you worked the night before the pt. had a stroke. I said NO, I had been off for a few days. But the tears were still rolling down my face.

Reading this reminds me why I left the hospital setting. I chickend out and could not do it anymore. I commend you for sticking with it.:bowingpur:bow:

[tarapom]

In response to the question about whether crying on the job makes me regret going into nursing... yes. It certainly does. I called the office of career services at my undergrad college to ask for help finding a new career path and she told me she couldn't meet over the phone. I called the career center at my nursing school thinking maybe they could help me find my niche in nursing, but they just refered me to their online tools.

This first job is making me reconsider my choice to go into nursing and it's quite disconcerting because it took a LOT of effort to become a nurse.

Also, I would like to point out or perhaps admit that in general, I do not cry because I am sad for a patient. In fact, I experienced my first patient death this week and though I was overwhelmed and scared, I didn't cry. I cry when I am stressed out because of too many things going on at once (like Angie described in her narrative about her first night off orientation) I also cried a number of times after meeting with my preceptor and clinical coordinator and after giving report to mean day shift RNs (also similar to Angie)

So, maybe I am just too selfish for this job. What now?

[missjennmb]

Is it possible to go into doctors office type nursing? Is that a less stressful situation? When I go to the doctors most of the time, the office staff/nurses/doctors all seem to be generally very happy and relaxed in their jobs. My plan for my career has always been to start off in a hospital, work the ER or trauma or some other high stress/high adrenylin/life and death type position, and then move to an office position when I got burnt out. I very seldom see nurses here on allnurses.com mention office work though and I'm curious why.

[smk1, LPN]

I am 2 weeks into orienting on my floor and I almost cried this week. Frustration. Everybody does things differently and you can't learn the critical pieces of the system in which you work because you don't have a set standard to go by. It sucks. We will all make it through this period though.

[wanderlust99]

I've been a nurse for 2 1/2 years so far. I have cried I believe 3 times at work. I've come home & cried about 6 times. Just let it out...

I swear, I have seen 3 different coworkers cry this month at work! Whether it's a nasty pt physically abusing one of us or a horrid family member....it affects each of us and this is what makes you want to quit the profession.

[SoundofMusic]

Sometimes I cry just to release the stress, not for any other reason. Not because I'm sad, or feel abused, or whatever -- it's just the high level of stress resulting from running and having so much to do, and there has just got to be a way to let it out. I also go from laughing hysterically at a funny show or something to crying very easily -- as if the tension is just on the edge and any emotional release triggers it. This is right after a shift -- and it's terrible.

But then I'm good the next day. It's just those hours after a shift where I just can't come down from the stress.

I had one day where a stroke pt on our floor was reaching out to play the harp (We have a lady who does rounds in the pt's rooms playing the harp -- it's very peaceful). His wife started to bawl and then so did I -- it was as if he had lost all his faculties, but could still reach out and make beautiful music with the harp -- it was very touching and several of us nurses were teary eyed.

[twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN]

There have been a few times when I've cryed at work. Just reciently we lost a 13 day old in our er, and as soon as the dr called it I was outside. It was my first peds code. I cry'ed, hugged the others, talked about it for a bit, dusted myself off and came back in and worked the rest of my 12 hours.

Mostly if I've had a really hard day and everything has gotten to me (especially if I'm a hormonal ball of snot) I'll cry on the way home but try to have it done by half way home. I don't want to carry that in the house with me.