My husband and I just had our fourth child and it was finally a girl! She was born last Thursday, March 30 and she weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces. She was four weeks early. We also have three boys ages 10, 6 and 3.
Anyway, my question is how many pregnancies are too many? I would love to have another baby in a few years. (All of our children are 3-4 years apart in age and I will only be 30 in September). We have also never had a miscarriage or a stillborn. Is there a point where someone should quit? I'm still a pre-nursing student, so I don't know the answer to that. My husband and I always wanted a large family (5 or 6 children), but I just wondered how often all of you maternity nurses saw that and if there were any type of problems associated if we continued to have children. As of now, I don't have any medical problems to indicate a potential problem and my husband and I are both young.
My husband is one of 10 and I know many large families. One at our church has 12 kids. yes, we are Catholic but so what?
I do grieve all the unwanted and unloved kids out there. I have 2 and would have had more but I got a late start (1st one at 30) plus battled postpartum depression and did not want to repeat that. I am thankful for my 2 beautiful, smart, and sweet (at least most of the time) girls....I always wanted 4, but realized my personal limitations.
What is wrong with a large family IF the family can afford it and can love and care for their kids? most kids that I know that came from large families are well-adjusted, very few spoiled brats, and are good with kids themselves, and compassionate.
It is a personal decision and should be based on the resources available to the parents. And yes, adoption is good. I would love to be a foster parent myself but cant quite talk hubby into it.
I do know that with multiple pregnancies the risk of placenta accreta increases...also bladder incontinence can worsen. but anything has risks.
Again, it is a personal decision. A responsible family planning more children is not going to tip the scale of global issues.
Specializes in primary care, pediatrics, OB/GYN, NICU.
I have three children. Things I didn't think ahead about (and should have): all three kids needed braces and orthodontia ($15,000 ten years ago), three kids going to college and two of them at the same time. It was fun having the brood when they were little, but when they became teenagers I was outnumbered! Now I'm struggling to help two of them through college and still have one in highschool. I ended up a single mom of all three when they were all under 10 yrs old - my husband decided it was too much responsibility and left. Not to be a downer, but husbands die too.
Congratulations on your new daughter!:balloons: I work postpartum and never tire of seeing those soft little faces and starfish hands.
I had five and we adopted our sixth. Did foster care for years. Now I'm leaving it to my kids to increase our tribe.
DD #1 has four and would like one more. DD #2 has four and is done. DD #3 is expecting her second child in June. The other three haven't started yet.
As long as you and your husband are in agreement and feel you have the love and the resources to care for another child, who else has anything to say about it.
We raised our kids on simple but satisfying meals, hand-me-downs, recycled furniture and toys, and lots of love and family time. Now I have frugal kids who know how to hunt for bargains and who understand the value of honesty, hard work, and togetherness. They also helped us care for foster kids, including the one who came to stay.
Not to rude but telling that woman not to have more kids because of global population is a little absurd. Even if she has, consecutive children for the rest of her childbearing years, maxing out somewhere around 20 offspring, I highly doubt 20 additional natural born Americans over the next 30 years will wreak global havoc! Honey, if you can feed 'em, clothe 'em, and love 'em.....have 'em!!!!
As for the earth having a human capacity, absolute nonsense! [well. nothing is infinite, but in reality this will never happen] You can put this one next to the Y2K end of the world scare!.....while we are at it, throw in Bird flu, global warming, WMD, genetically altered cron, and the inevitable global collapse brought on by running out of gasoline!!!!
Oh my God!...what will us poor resourceless humans do!..
Specializes in med/surg/tele/neuro/rehab/corrections.
Thanks, everyone for your replies. I was hoping 5 or 6 children didn't seem like "too many". My husband is self employed and does well at what he does and I'm a SAHM taking nursing courses via the internet for now. We both have bachelors degrees, but I just choose not to use mine. However, when my husband and I tell people we just had our fourth child, people look at us like we are crazy even though they are all 3-4 years apart in age. Oh, well, we are happy with our current four and look forward to 1 or 2 more. I guess I just need to learn not to care what others think. It's like I've always said "Kids are the best things you never knew you always wanted":)
If you can afford them, have a good relationship with your husband, and take good care of them then have as many as you want. :) I always wanted to be a part of a large family! Loved them when they were well run! Being a mom and taking care of a large brood is a great job. The best! The most important job one can have. :)
I had four children and it was about all I could handle. Didn't have any type of emotional family support from my husband or parents, was married but had to do everything as if I were single but still got the worst of what married women get too so for me I was overwhelmed when number four came along, heck even when number three came along! But after my fourth I realized it was time to stop. I felt a certain finalization. I knew in my heart that there would be no more. I was 34. It was a good time to stop.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I am sorry but I have to take exception to one comment here. Being concerned about over- population of our planet is not "absurd"---- but responsible, global thinking.
Now enough of that hijack on my part....back to the OP's question:
Regarding how many children you chose to have, why care what other say or think? It's your family, your body, your lives. Don't let what others think or say hold such a concern over you. It's up to you.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
YOu are right the global issue was not the original question---but I do take exception to someone saying it's "absurd" to be concerned about a very real issue.
YOu are right the global issue was not the original question---but I do take exception to someone saying it's "absurd" to be concerned about a very real issue.
Now back to the OT.
Oh, we're in total agreement. Wasn't trying to criticize, was trying to keep my own mouth shut about it.
Right now, I'm thinkin three is enough...but that's just b/c I sit here 26 weeks pg w/ my third w/ an aching back, sore hips and an in the way belly:lol2: Seriously, I agree that what ever you can mentally/financially take care of is fine. I also have much more appreciation for moms who have had to deal w/ rude comments about more than 2!!! hth
I have four and get the are you crazy looks all the time. Of course, when I had my fourth I was 24 and my other kids were 5, 3, and 1--so I kind of deserved the looks--lol. I've noticed more and more lately that a lot of couples are having more children, and I think it's great. I have one older brother who is 5 1/2 years older than me, and I always wondered what it would be like having a lot of siblings closer in age to me. I watch my kids play together (they're now 10, 8, 6, and 5) and they always have such a blast together! You hardly ever see them outside of about a 10 foot radius of one another--it's great to watch that bond and love.
I agree with the one poster who stated that it is physically hard on a woman to have kids so close together (mine were 24 months, 19 months, and 15 months apart). After my youngest was born, it took me nearly 2 years to feel like a human being again! And as "crazy" as people may think my husband and I are, I would love to have another baby...this time we would have to adopt, though, since I had a tubal after #4. We're thinking about it.
mtnmom
334 Posts
My husband is one of 10 and I know many large families. One at our church has 12 kids. yes, we are Catholic but so what?
I do grieve all the unwanted and unloved kids out there. I have 2 and would have had more but I got a late start (1st one at 30) plus battled postpartum depression and did not want to repeat that. I am thankful for my 2 beautiful, smart, and sweet (at least most of the time) girls....I always wanted 4, but realized my personal limitations.
What is wrong with a large family IF the family can afford it and can love and care for their kids? most kids that I know that came from large families are well-adjusted, very few spoiled brats, and are good with kids themselves, and compassionate.
It is a personal decision and should be based on the resources available to the parents. And yes, adoption is good. I would love to be a foster parent myself but cant quite talk hubby into it.
I do know that with multiple pregnancies the risk of placenta accreta increases...also bladder incontinence can worsen. but anything has risks.
Again, it is a personal decision. A responsible family planning more children is not going to tip the scale of global issues.