How to forgive and forget? Also, met with BON today...

Nurses Recovery

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I have only posted here a few times and posted back in August when I first got into trouble for diverting drugs and a prescription from work. I ended up resigning from the hospital I worked at. It was either resign or they would contact law enforcement. I found out when I received a copy of the complaint that was filed against me with the BON that a "concerned friend" called the hospital anonymously on me and that is how I was found out. I know exactly who it was because I had only confided in one person what I had been doing and that I wanted help. This is a person that I thought was a dear friend that I have known for many years. Funny thing is that when she called the hospital on me I had already been clean for 2 weeks. Also, she is the one I called to come pick me up from work the day that I was confronted and suspended.

I couldn't figure out for the life of me why she did that to me. This is a person that I knew had many problems herself but I considered her my friend and never thought she would hurt me. She is the type of person that loves drama and the only thing I could come up with was she got some sort of sick thrill and thrives off of other's misery. I talked to a psychologist about her and she said that she sounds like a sociopath. Someone who is very good at deceiving, acting like they care, but then will turn around and victimize you. Well that it exactly what this person did to me and I am having a very difficult time with it. Right after I got the complaint and put 2 and 2 together that she made the anonymous call to my employer, I sent her a nasty email in the heat of the moment. Told her that I would never forgive her, blah, blah, blah. Two days later I got a call from a detective at the police station wanting to talk to me. I went in and the 2 detectives that I met with said that they got a call from a "concerned friend" and she had told them about what I did at the hospital. They said they didn't think they would file any charges against me and I think they basically just wanted to scare me and were digging for information.

Why is this person, that I used to call my friend, trying to ruin my life? I never did anything to wrong her! I just don't understand and am scared of what she'll do next even though I am doing nothing wrong right now and am working hard to get my life back together. I haven't spoken to her and intend on never speaking to her again.

On a good note, I went to the BON today for the screening meeting concerning my complaint. I had already referred myself to the NAP program last month so they decided to dismiss the complaint and I have to stay in NAP for 3 years but that's okay! I am so happy and grateful that something good actually happened for me!! These past couple months have just been hell.

I got turned down for a clinic job early last month because of my past issues and being in NAP. They had another ad in the paper for the same position last weekend so I sent them a letter, and asked if they would reconsider the decision to not hire me. The director called me a couple days later and told me he "strongly encouraged" me to reapply. So I just turned the app in this morning. We'll see what happens. Do you really think that he would have called and told me to reapply if I didn't have a chance? Hopefully, things are looking up!

Thanks for reading and for any advice or comments. :redpinkhe

Specializes in cardiovascular, EP.

Dear Chaotic,

You said:

"I am less bothered by it now and am focusing more on myself and my recovery."

You should only be focused on your recovery and your life. Not the actions/words/motives/rationale of others.

Remember: we can control only ourselves and all too often I've found I can't even do that without lots of help.

:twocents:

Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.

A good friend told me...

"The best revenge is living well." I don't see it as a "revenge". But it's something my parents and grandparents told me more than once when I was young. Even if someone did it to get you in trouble, use the situation as an educational opportunity and improve your life. When they see that what they did in order to cause you pain has actually made you stronger and happier, they lose the very thing they were hoping for...your misery.

Jack

..." i am not and never have been an addict."

Did else see the humor in this statement? :lol2: How about "I am not an alcoholic, but I was once"

I dunno', guess it just struck me as a fabulously funny thing for someone to type in a recovery forum.

Hope everyone is having a smooth 24.

..." i am not and never have been an addict."

Did else see the humor in this statement? :lol2: How about "I am not an alcoholic, but I was once"

I dunno', guess it just struck me as a fabulously funny thing for someone to type in a recovery forum.

Hope everyone is having a smooth 24.

perhaps if you read the explanation further down the page, you wouldnt be so patronizing

Hi,

I Just Want To Say Good Luck

And I Also Want To Tell You To Never Share That Info. I Don't Care How Close You Think You Are To That Person. If You Need To Discuss Such Issues,do It Here. These People Are Very Wise And Have Alot Of Experience . That's The Whole Point For Thses Forums.

Sara62

I Agree With Mostly Everything You Said Except The Friend. She Did Not Report Her To Protect Her Patients,her License Or Trying To "help Her Because She Cares So Much"

She Did It To Stop Trouble

Sara62

I Agree With Mostly Everything You Said Except The Friend. She Did Not Report Her To Protect Her Patients,her License Or Trying To "help Her Because She Cares So Much"

She Did It To Stop Trouble

Sara62

I read an email that was basically sarcastic and mean.

I got mad. I can't find it,who knows maybe I misunderstood what I read.

I very rarely get mad like that. Both comments have been removed from the list.:nurse:

sara62

Ok, I've Read This Post 3 Times. Do People Honestly Believe That In This Situation That Girl's Friend Was Trying To Help Her By Reporting Her? Trying To Protect Her Patients? I Don't Buy It.

Did She Take The Drugs? Yes

Did She Create Her Own Problem? Yes

Is She An Addict? Most Likely

Does She Need And Deserve Help? Absolutely!!!!

Does She Deserve To Be Kicked While She's Down? No

Should We Offer Her Support? Yes!!

Should We Coddle Her ? No

I Also Wanted To Make One More Comment Regarding People Who Are On This Site Even Though They Are Not Addicts.

Of Course You Have A Right To Be In This Forum But Try To Keep One Thing In Mind " When They Say You Have To Be An Addict To Really Understand Addiction,it's True" I Guess What I'm Trying To Say Is Try To Be Careful When You Comment On Something. Trust Me, There Is Nothing Anyone Can Say That We Don't Feel And Already Say To Ourselves.

We Are Seeking Some Kind Of Understanding And Encouragement. I'm Not Trying To Make Anyone Mad, I Speak From My Heart; Always Have Always Will.

Sara62

Her Friend Is No Friend. I Know She Did It Out Of Malice.

I Require No Proof,i Just Know.

Sara62

I Think Your Heading In The Right Direction.

Now That I Think About It If You Were Not Angry With Her You Would Be Hanging Out And Eventually You Would Probably Be Using Right Along With Her. I Don't Want To Sound Harsh But You Have No Room Inside Of You To Handle Her Problems As Well As Yours.

Sara

Specializes in Medical and general practice now LTC.

The OP has already stated she has moved on, I think it is best to let this thread move on as well and offer support without bringing up the past

Specializes in surg/ortho/trauma- float-travel nurse-ic.

Hi There! Haven't been on for awhile. WOW! Read all the responses. They were great and I definitely can tell the ones who aren't in recovery. I am. For those who said this is your problem and stop blaming your friend, it's true. Hard to hear but I learned the most from the things that got me the angriest. Usually because I was hearing the truth. and I had to take a look at myself. I'm grateful for those who didn't sugar coat their words. They're friends today and an important part of my network. If you can get an NA Book you'll read that "resentment is the number one offender". For those of us who are blunt it's because we care. This disease wants us dead. I am so passionate about the disease. Reading your message reminded me of me years ago when I first became an addict. The only thing I knew was to be a nurse. How would I take care of my child? How would I survive? I agree with southernbeegirl...get into treatment even if you are clean now. That's where you learn how to live in recovery...what precipitates using...familial history etc. The last thing on your mind should be finding work. I know. You were me and I learned the hard way. It was a matter of time before I stole again because I was in denial. I thought all was ok because I got a job and I felt safe again. About your friend, possibly her first reporting you could have saved your life. The reporting to the police was a reaction to your e-mail. Do you see where I'm trying to get you to look? You stole the narcs and you sent the e-mail. You. We who stole should have been arrested. Why do we get special treatment because we have a license? If my mother stole what I did she'd be arrested. A doctor in my support group says alot, "if we all got what we deserved we be in jail." I won't tell you how to feel. I can only share my experience. strength and hope. Today I am friends with the person who reported me. At first I was livid and blamed her but when I finally apologized to her and thanked her for possibly saving my life it was a wonderful feeling. I didn't get clean right away but it was the beginning of my journey into the horrors of addiction. Sometimes it's hard to read blunt messages but if we pooh-pooh things lives could be lost. So for all of those messages that but it back in your lap, take a look at it. It's all out of care and concern. I can feel their concern when I read their messages. I hope you think about things because you're worth it.

Hey everyone, my apologies. I just realized that there are 6 pages of this message/topic. I'm still learning the ropes so thought this was a new message. Hope evryone is well, sober and taking care of themselves for today!! Life is Good!!

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