How to face tomorrow

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Specializes in LTC/Rehab,Med/Surg, OB/GYN, Ortho, Neuro.

I recently found out that I was pregnant, hadn't even told DH yet. This wasn't a planned pregnancy, so I still had mixed feelings on it. Found out that I was 2 months along on Thurs. Friday night (my birthday) got to end up in the ER, bleeding/cramping. I lost it :( I'm working on sorting out my feelings, and in private I can let my shock/pain/anger/grief come through. I go back to work tomorrow, and people knew about me being pregnant (good ole grape vine). I've been thinking about what I will say to co-workers who ask how I'm/the baby is doing, etc, and I'm completely at a loss. I don't know if I can keep up the "strong, capable nurse" facade. I can't even do it at home around my kids.

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Specializes in Trauma/Burn ICU, Neuro ICU.

Y' know, you should think about taking a few days off to get through this. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I know what you are going through. You really do need a bit of time. You need to take care of yourself. Then, when you do go back, you will be better equipped to handle questions/comments. Blessings to you.

Regards, Susan

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I agree, a little time will help... sorry about your loss.

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Specializes in cardiac, psychiatric emergency, rehab.

Please take the time to process your feelings. So sorry for your loss. It's very hard to care for others when you have an emotionally difficult event occur in your life.

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Specializes in OR (Scrub Tech/LPN).

Hi, I read your post and just wanted you to know that you ARE NOT alone. It's hard to be stong , when you are depended upon to be the strong one. I had thought about suggesting taking a few more days off, to sort things out. But after careful thought of your situation, which is a very devastating one, that will heal only with time...I would like to suggest that maybe you speak with your supervisior, or someone that you trust or feel comfortable talking with, and ask them to relay the message to your co workers, since they already know your were pregnant 1) what and ONLY what you want others to know about your situtaion 2) that you are feeling fine, but dealing with some very mixed emotions at this time & 3) not to be asking YOU, personally or otherwise, questions about what is going on..you can tell them in time, if and when you are ready to talk about it. 4) That you appreciate their concern, but for right now, you just need space. Maybe they could speak to your coworkers and ask them to just treat you as if it was a normal day and when you are ready to talk, you will.

God Bless you and May God hold you and your family in the palms of HIS almight hands.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

I agree, take some days off. I'm sure you loved your baby even though it wasn't planned. Give yourself some time.

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This is very very hard to do. I recently lost a baby to stillbirth. The questions from people hurt and make me cry or want to cry almost two months after now, when people who don't know what happened just that I was pregnant see me.

Some time will help, and requesting time off with definitely help because then the people at work will know not to ask about the baby. They will still ask how you are doing, and that will probably make you cry too - I know.

I had a hard time going back to work(I'm not a nurse yet) and I still had to hold back tears, or hide them...in front of customers. so I can only imagine how hard that would be to do in front of patients, especially in the beginning when the tears are kind of random and can be tipped of by a lot of things. Time will help with that, being able to control the tears a little more.

I'm sorry about your baby. It hurts but it will get better.

Laura

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i'm so sorry about your loss.

yes, you do need a few days off...

not only to heal enough in order to function, but your hormones are a mess now!!

i've had a few miscarriages and ea time i lost my baby, i would cry my eyes out.

i remember saying to a nurse (?? can't remember), "i don't know why i can't stop crying"...

and this person is the one who told me about our hormones going haywire during miscarriage...

which predisposes us to all sorts of emotional lability.

call in now...

tell them you'll return on _________.

and give time a chance.

gentle hugs....

leslie

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I too have had two loses. I agree with others. Please take some time off. Only time will heal the loss.My heart and prayers are with you.

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Private Duty Peds.

take the time off to sort through your feelings and emotions, return when you are ready .

so sorry for your loss!

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Take some time off--your body as well as your mind needs time to recover and heal. Even if you had mixed feelings, you still suffered a loss. It will take some time, especially the emotional loss. Take care of yourself. If you can, tell your husband as he may hear it through the grapevine too.

I was pregnant with twins and one of them died when I was 13 weeks pregnant. Even though I ended up with one healthy baby, it was still an emotional time.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

I agree, you also need to recover physically. When I had a miscarriage , which was at about 2 months, it was a horrendous experience physically. I couldn't believe the amount of blood I lost, and the pain that went along with it, aside from losing my baby.

You need a week off to recover, eat healthy, and nurture yourself. You poor baby, you need rest and time to grieve!

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