How to deter when asked personal questions by patients?

[nianavaRN]

Wanted to get some advice on how to handle situations when patients ask personal questions. I work in a psychiatric unit and I am not as comfortable answering questions such as "are you married? Do you have children?" as I would in a different hospital setting. When patients ask I usually just try and change the subject. Then the rapport I was building with them seems to fade a bit. Any any advice would be helpful.

Thank-you ❤️

[Purple_roses]

Are you married? Do you have kids? That's nothing compared to "Do you know Jesus?" There's really no deflecting that one...and you HAVE to give the right answer or it will be a very long assessment. lol.

I once told a client "Yeah, but I'm working for the other guy."

Yes, yes. I know. I'm going to hell for that. (It's in my contract.)

[elkpark]

Are you married? Do you have kids? That's nothing compared to "Do you know Jesus?" There's really no deflecting that one...

Au contraire! I spent many years working in inpatient psych in the Bible Belt, and would just smile and say, v. pleasantly, "I don't talk about my personal beliefs at work." I never had any real problems or issues as a result. Sometimes I had to repeat that statement, but it never got any worse than that.

[OCNRN63, RN]

Here's a creepy experience I had when working in psych:

I was talking to one of our young schizophrenic patients, when from out of nowhere he looks at me and says, "Are you one of Jehovah's Witnesses?"

I have no idea how he knew that. I didn't talk about my faith at work, and especially not with patients.

Creepy...

[AcuteHD]

Was the guy, by chance, in his underwear when you knocked on his door?

So sorry, I couldn't help it :-)

[3roppen]

Just answer it Even if you're getting really stalkery vibes it's not like knowing whether you have a SO or kids will direct them to your house.

[Dogen]

Just answer it Even if you're getting really stalkery vibes it's not like knowing whether you have a SO or kids will direct them to your house.

I tell all my patients that my SO is a sharpshooter with an impressive array of weapons.

Because I'm single, and I want any psychotic stalker who decides to come after me to waste time trying to track down someone that doesn't exist.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

"Do you know Jesus?"

Why don't you ask Jesus if he knows ME?

[Farawyn]

Here's a creepy experience I had when working in psych:

I was talking to one of our young schizophrenic patients, when from out of nowhere he looks at me and says, "Are you one of Jehovah's Witnesses?"

I have no idea how he knew that. I didn't talk about my faith at work, and especially not with patients.

Creepy...

I wonder if he could peg me as a Cafeteria Catholic?

[nnm519]

If they keep questioning you even after you try to deflect the questions you could always blame it on management.... LOL that is usually my go to when either avoiding something with a patient or trying to get them to do something they don't want to do. That way they understand that it isn't you being shady it is just a policy or something....

I know in psych it is a little different. I used to work geri psych and the patients just loved to talk. Also psych is all about talking...."how are YOU feeling??" lol. I worked with a lot of Alzheimer's and dementia so they usually would not remember who I even was so sometimes I would just make stuff up. It didn't really matter and it made them happy to talk to someone. Usually just deflecting back to them will work. People love to talk about themselves.

[Karou]

If I worked in psych I don't think I would want to talk about my personal life with patients either. I like the response, "I don't talk about myself at work" and then asking the patient a question about themselves.

I work at a hospital (not psych) and I generally answer whatever patients ask me. It's usually a patient/family member asking how old I am, if I am married or have children, where am I from or where did I go to school... I don't mind answering those questions. I will be simple in my answers and then redirect it back to the patient. "Yes I was born in the area, where are you from?". It seems to put the patient at ease to have chit chat, and builds rapport.

Questions about religion or politics do make me uncomfortable. I avoid it with, "I never think it's wise to discuss politics or religion at work". Then I smile sweetly and change he subject.

On that topic, what opinions do talk have about lying to to patients when they ask these questions? Say for example, if the patient has made it clear that they are Christian or Democratic or what have you, would you feel the need to say that you are the same if they ask?

[canigraduate]

When I did my psych rotation in school, I had a lot of patients come up and ask me inappropriate personal questions. I guess their filters were on standby.

The first couple of times, I stuttered out answers and got creeped out. After that, I just said, "That's a very personal question. Do you think that's appropriate to ask a stranger?" Mostly, the patients would go off and think about it or apologize, although one persisted. I lied and said I had to check in with my instructor and promptly left the room.

Now, I just say things like Jade does. "Oh, that's not important right now. I'm more interested in how you are feeling."