How to deal with unexpected deaths of nurses and other health care professionals

confused101 · Aug 11, 2005

We still don't know why Ryan passed on to the other side on Sunday. I sympathize for everyone that has lost someone recently. I agree that sometimes it takes a nurse to know what a nurse is going through. They teach us to pick our heads up and grief in silence because that is what nurses do. For my nurse friend we made a photo wall in August (his birthday month) and bought a plaque to go up on the unit. Thank you all for sharing your ideas and prayers. I will certaintly need them tomarrow for the service.

Chad_KY_SRNA · Aug 12, 2005

You will be in my prayers today.

confused101 · Aug 13, 2005

Yesterday was the service. There had to be +/- 200 people there. There were only 130 seats and plus all the fire/medics stood until they saluted him at the coffin. I cried so much my nose is sore today. Please keep Ohio in mind in your prayers this week as they bury their loved ones who died in Iraq this week. There are 20 solders that I know this month, but I haven't listened to the news this week. Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers.

eagnd · Aug 18, 2005

Confused, sorry for your loss as well. In 2000, I lost a dear friend and co-worker (who was also an RN) from a massive MI. He was 28. I grieved his loss terribly. A very good man. Newly married and his first child on the way. I miss our times together and our conversations. I sort of know how you feel. It doesn't seem right and it doesn't seem fair. But, how I choose to remember him now is by the joy he gave me, his laugh, his insights, and his outlook on life. I feel blessed in my having the opportunity to have known him. Remembering is how we honor those who have touched us...but, remember the good that they gave, which enriched your life. This is how we honor them.

THUNDERWOLF YOU ALWAYS SAY THE BEST YOU HAVE QUITE A WISDOM:saint: ..............WOW..............

jsteine1 · Aug 18, 2005

I forget what it is called but in my HR office you can get referred for councilling. I had to go through them to get my son checked for add and I went to councilling with him.
melissa

I think you are referring to the Employee Assistance program that most companies offer. Typically, three sessions are covered by the employer, its entirely confidential.

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Aug 18, 2005

As deeply wounding as the death of a dear friend or loved one is, it also causes us to meditate and think more profoundly than at any other time.

It stops the crazy merry go round and freezes us in place and time... demanding respect, ..and awe.. and fear ......and propels us forward into searching for those things which are truly meaningful in life. Through these personal losses and tragedies we become acutely and vividly aware of all the beauty we have so taken for granted. Such beauty as was found in our loved one(s).

Death, while agonizing and heartwrenching, can be used for good.

Recommitting one's self to seeking and seeing the beauty before us, and speaking/showing appreciation for such, and learning to never take for granted that which was never ours to begin with.

Life is a gift. As such, it keeps on giving.. even in death.

((((((((((((((((((((((((confused101))))))))))))))))))))))

P.S.

Quailfeather.. your post took my breath away. :crying2:

Gentlest of hugs to you.

jsteine1 · Aug 18, 2005

As deeply wounding as death of a dear friend or loved one is, it also causes us to meditate and think more profoundly than at any other time.
It stops the crazy merry go round and freezes us in place and time... demanding respect, ..and awe.. and fear ......and propels us forward into searching for those things which are truly meaningful in life. Through these personal losses and tragedies we become vividly aware of all the beauty we have so taken for granted. Such beauty as was found in our loved one(s).
Death, while agonizing and heartwrenching, can be used for good. Recommitting one's self to seeking and seeing the beauty before us, and speaking/showing appreciation for such, and learning to never take for granted that which was never ours to begin with.
Life is a gift. As such, it keeps on giving.. even in death.
((((((((((((((((((((((((confused101))))))))))))))))))))))
P.S.
Quailfeather.. your post took my breath away.
Gentlest of hugs to you.

You are so NOT confused. You are right on target..

mandrews · Aug 18, 2005

I think you are referring to the Employee Assistance program that most companies offer. Typically, three sessions are covered by the employer, its entirely confidential.

Thank You!!! yes that is it.

franlondon · Aug 20, 2005

Back when I was a staff nurse, I had a similar experience. One of the nurses I worked with got sick and died within days. Then one of the doctors on our team died in a car accident. I processed the experience by watching how we all reacted, and wrote an article which was published in RN:

London, F. (1988). How we coped with a colleague's death. RN, 51(12), 14.

It's probably still available. Ask a librarian if you can't find it easily.

Take care of yourself,

- Fran.

confused101 · Aug 21, 2005

Thank you FranLondon for writing the article. I will research for it really soon. School started back this week. Typical 4th year BSN stuff. Hurry up and wait. It's been a hard week, but it got harder yesterday. My sister in law lost her baby. My brother called me last night when I had a house full of people. One of them is 3 months along. I went to see them today and bring food. Last Friday, Ryan's funeral. Yesterday I find out my niece or nephew died. Once again I pick up my head and go on. Thanks again for the prayers and keep them coming. I guess it doesn't help that I have started my Peds rotation this 8 weeks. When life gives you lemons make lemonade! :)

Faeriewand, ASN, RN · Aug 21, 2005

My father died 5 years ago and I was completely devastated. What helped me was attending his service. I got to see how much people respected him and loved him. He attended the same church for 33 years and everyone came. Each person at the service stood up and said something about my father that warmed my heart. I still think back on that.

I wish someone would have put together a picture collage of him because I miss him so and would love to look at it. A picture collage of happier times is a great way to remmeber someone. But the greatest gift that I was given was by my daughter who interviewed my father. She sent me the tape maybe just last year and when I listened to it I teared up with joy. Actually hearing his voice again was wonderful. There are so many ways to remember those who meant so much to us. I also wrote. The very night he died I sat at my computer and wrote a newspaper article about what I was going thru. I was a reporter for my college newspaper and they published my article. It touched many students hearts and they wrote their appreciation to the paper.

confused and everyone, the same person who said when life gives you lemons, make lemonaide also said, "Tough times never last.... Tough people do!"

(That was Robert Schuller, the positive thinking guy)

My hope for all those who are grieving, sad, or anguished is that you find the peace that you so rightly deserve.

wallacej · Sep 8, 2005

I tried to look to see if there was a death and dying section, but I had a hard time finding one. I wanted some advice on something that has been bothering me since February 25th. I had a fellow nurse die due to a motor car accident. Left behind a 17 year old son. It hit the unit really hard because he was only 52. Today I get a phone call saying that one of my friends just died in their sleep. Reason unknown at this time. 24 year old firefighter/medic.(BTW I'm only 24) No kids or wife. I'm just having a really really hard time understanding why this is happening this year. I take care of drug dealers and gang bangers, but the good ones that are trying to help society are leaving the earth? Just need help getting through this one. Thank you for any help you can give me.

Dear confused: I feel your pain just yesterday the social work for my floor, husband found her died at home. But I can't be sad for her, because she is in a much better place. God knows just what is best for us and how much time we are to stay on this earth.

So I look at death as a blessing from our Heavenly Father, who loves use more than anyone on earth could every love us. So keep your head up and think of the good times you shared. Jackie