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How to Deal with Toxic People while in School

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Here are tips for dealing with toxic people while studying in school.

Toxic People

  1. 1. Have you ever dealt with toxic friends or family

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How do you deal with toxic people?

How to Deal with Toxic People while in School

Tips from My Personal Experience 

When it came to my pre-nursing journey, I didn’t always have supportive people around me.  In fact, some of them were very toxic and had no problem with showing their pursuits to tear me down.  It was definitely emotionally and physically taxing, but it made me stronger.  Sadly, the toxicity came from former friends and family members. I will be sharing tips on how to deal with toxic friends and family while studying for prereqs.

Keep all materials protected and locked away

When it came to my materials, I always made sure to keep them protected and locked away in my room. I say this because when I first started community college, my sister took the pleasure of ruining my laptop, and it cost a lot of money to be replaced. Around this time, my book bag, laptop, and study materials such as printed PowerPoints were securely placed somewhere, and if I wasn’t home, my door was locked. I even had to invest in a laundry hamper for my room because my clothes were being cut up and bleached.

Do not tell them about important dates

From experience, if I had a midterm or a final exam, my sister or dad would use either vacuum or before that would start an argument. As an empath, this affected how I studied, and they knew it! Along with this, I had an experience in my honor society to where I was taking my first NLN, and someone who served in a high position told me, “ Are you retesting?”, she knew that I wasn’t retesting, but this was to add doubt. It’s best that if you have something important to keep it to yourself. Along with this, I actually had my dad and sister. Despite several signs on my door saying to do not disturb I’m studying, they knocked anyway.

Find an alternative place to study

When I was in my second attempt at Anatomy, I’ve learned how to do this. My alternative places were either the library or a coffee shop. Noisy, yes, but for some reason, it helped me study so much better. If you cannot find an alternative place to learn, earphones or earplugs are vital.

Know that jealously or insecurity is the root

When it comes to toxic people, there is something about you that they are very envious of, you may not know what it is, or maybe you do? Along with this, toxic people around you are very insecure and spend more time focusing on you than themselves.

Keep plans/dreams/goals to yourself

I remember when I first started Anatomy, like the very first attempt I told my former friend, “I am going to try to make an A.,” and they responded with, ‘That’s hard not many people make it, there aren’t too many Einsteins.” This hurt, but I learned right then and there not to tell anyone whether they were friendly with me or not my goals. Along with this, I was told by a former friend that If I took Anatomy and Physiology 2 and College Algebra together, I’d fail after passing. This person blocked me.

Never listen to what they have to say

Whether they are criticizing you or just generally spreading negativity, don’t listen to what they have to say. Let toxic people drown in their toxic behavior.

How to Spot Toxic People :

1.  They will copy you or compete with you –

I’ve noticed when it came to certain toxic people in some way, shape, or form, they will copy you. I had an incident in an honor society where there was this girl whom I didn’t really know to try to compete, I was in an officer position, and she wanted something bigger and better. She got it. Still, I didn’t let her competition and insecurity get to me.

2. They make deceptive statements or gestures –

When dealing with toxic people, they usually have to make themselves seem larger than life. By sly remarks, this can mean they downplay your achievements while uplifting theirs. For example, an incident where a mean girl boasted about her Bachelor’s in Kinesiology or rolled her eyes if my honor society was mentioned.

3. You just feel a weird vibe-

The gut never lies! Usually, when people have bad energy, you can feel it from a mile away, or your intuition will let you know this before they open their mouths.

How to combat a toxic person:

1.  Protect your energy – 

laughing, smiling, and spreading positive energy is a great way to shield yourself from toxic people, even pay them a compliment. This worked for me before and diffused the motives that they intended to do.

2.  Keep a distance-

If you have to work with someone toxic but not closely, keep conversations short and keep your distance at all costs. Engaging in arguments and their games gives them a weird sense of satisfaction.

3.  Surround yourself with positive people –

This can be your favorite teacher or simply just a friend. Surrounding yourself with a positive person distracts from the darkness of a toxic person.

4.  Affirmations - 

Saying how smart you are or how beautiful you can help build an emotional and spiritual barrier that can help combat toxic people and help with studying in the long run.

Have you ever dealt with a toxic person? What are your tips? 🙂 

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6 Comment(s)

OldEMTNurse, LPN, EMT-I

Specializes in LTC. Has 24 years experience.

Laugh at yourself when they attack you. I learned to agree with toxic people around me when they would pass a negative remark my way. That helped me become not only a stronger person, but it also helped me become more positive, and even joke around with others when the toxic individual was earshot. If that individual (who had a negative opinion of me left, I didn't let it bother me, because I decided it was that person's choice to leave.)

NICU Guy, BSN, RN

Specializes in NICU. Has 6 years experience.

If that is your true home life, then move out and change your number or block theirs. Nursing school is hard enough with a good support system, you don't need that kind of abuse in your life.

Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN

Specializes in Physiology, CM, consulting, nsg ED, LNC, COB. Has 51 years experience.

Short form: Work on developing your own emotional maturity. That’ll take care of pretty much all of this. YW. 

On 5/5/2021 at 1:36 PM, OldEMTNurse said:

Laugh at yourself when they attack you. I learned to agree with toxic people around me when they would pass a negative remark my way. That helped me become not only a stronger person, but it also helped me become more positive, and even joke around with others when the toxic individual was earshot. If that individual (who had a negative opinion of me left, I didn't let it bother me, because I decided it was that person's choice to leave.)

This is golden thank you 🙂

Don't react to anything they say.  Let them have the last word.  My mother always tried to provoke a response, as "proof" of how mean/rude/unstable/stupid/etc I allegedly was.  I learned to just sit there and smile until she wore herself out.  When she didn't get the response she wanted from me, ultimately, she'd stop.

I ignored them and did my work. I didn’t care about anyone else in my class except myself.