How do you cope with child abuse?

JeanettePNP, MSN, RN, NP · Feb 26, 2006

Did this story just happen? I vaguely recall hearing this story a year or so ago. I hope there wasn't another one!!!!

And yeah, these stories are horrible, but what can I tell you, there's nothing like these stories to motivate me to pay extra special attention to my kids.

snowfreeze, BSN, RN · Feb 26, 2006

Doing something positive can help with enduring your awareness of this type of abuse. Simple things like forming a community or block watch program. Involve everyone on your block, do the act33/34 clearance for everyone involved and develop 'safe havens' for children and young adults. Talk to your neighbors, even if they are kinda different. Report drug abuse if you know it is happening in your neighborhood. There are lots of things you can do as a citizen to help prevent and identify problems.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Feb 26, 2006

That baby screamed, bled to death and suffered until the Lord took her home.

I can only hope that the Lord took her before this.

I don't cope with it very well. This is one of those areas where i just come home and cry. We've repaired broken bones, scalded skin, stitching injuries and it all makes me sick.

I think the things that make me the most sick are the lady partsl and anal repairs we have to do to little girls and boys, and HOPING that they will be able to enjoy a normal sex life as adults, and the cases posted as "removal of foreign body" and to avoid being too graphic by not naming the objects, these foreign bodies are a result of sexual abuse and sodomization. It doesn't happen that often, but ONCE is TOO MANY.

We have employee counselors where i work. After cases like that i have to go see one to retain my own sanity, to keep from hunting down the ******** that do this **** and killing them.

I have to keep reminding myself that i'm helping to try and get these kids back to normal, to possibly have a normal childhood and life, and praying that they don't have to go back to the people that caused them the trip to the OR in the first place.

ABQLNDRN · Feb 26, 2006

did this story just happen? i vaguely recall hearing this story a year or so ago. i hope there wasn't another one!!!!
and yeah, these stories are horrible, but what can i tell you, there's nothing like these stories to motivate me to pay extra special attention to my kids.

it's probably the same story, becaue the article pertained to the mother being on trial. they tried the old insanity thing, which resulted in a mistrial. the mother planned to cut off her own arms and head, according to the article. this feat, of course, is impossible. not the sharpest pencil in the box. when the police found her, they said she had a deep gash on her (left?) arm.

i think all of us parents out there have stressful moments with our children, but how someone could rationalize what she did is far beyond my comprehension. and to blame it on god. please.

Meerkat · Feb 26, 2006

Thanks for starting this thread.

I don't cope too well with it either. In fact, I was just saying last night to another nurse that I need to find a way to decompress because last night we had a child protective investigator come up and interview my patient who had been beaten by mom's boyfriend...but she had to leave early. Why? Because she had to run over to the ER where a three year old had just been assaulted.

It's so upsetting to me. I know I carry it home with me. I just cannot wrap my head around that stuff, and it makes me want to throttle those abusers! So far the only way I know how to cope if that I have to talk to other nurses on the floor. But frankly, most of them have heard it all by now and have some kind of defense mechanism going on, because they have little or no reaction anymore.

Part of my problem is the VISUAL I get when I hear about this stuff. For me, I don't just hear it, but my mind's eye pictures the event as well. I imagine how long the child suffered, how many times was she held in scalding water, how long did she cry with no one comforting her? I suppose this is ruminating. If anyone has any helpful suggestions on how to deal with this without becoming jaded, I'd love to hear. Thanks

KuteNurse, LPN · Feb 26, 2006

I have been a pediatric nurse for 6.5 years now and I have seen several cases over the years of child abuse. Last week, a mother brought her son into the doctor. He was about 2 years old. The sweetest thing. The mother tossed him around angrily, right in front of me mind you, while getting him undressed. The child was crying. I told her to stop, had the child come with me and called our pediatric social worker. As it turns out, the mother just broke up with her boyfriend in the lobby right before they were called back. Obviously not an excuse for her behavior. What scares me is....If that mom would do that right in front of me, what ELSE is she doing when they are in the privacy of their home?? I did not find out the outcome of this because I got busy with other patients. But I am certain, the child was sent home with his mother. Possibly the mother would be sent to counseling. I just don't understand why our system isn't set up to protect our children. Over the years, I have seen many such cases. I have gone home and cried for these kids, knowing all I can do for them is to pray and hope that they can find some happiness in life. It isn't their fault that they are in unfortunate circumstances. Poor babies.

sanctuary, BSN, MSN, RN · Feb 26, 2006

Since you visualize so well, visualize the child being held in a loveng embrase, Try to combat all the negative energy that has been their lot. Say a prayer, send a gold light, bathe them in healing energy.

Trauma Columnist · Feb 26, 2006

Like all of you, I have unfortunately dealt with a lot of nonaccidental trauma to kids. It is very sad. Critical incident stress debriefings, EAP, prayers, yoga, meditation. Whatever works for you to be able to de-stress. It is very sad. We must rest knowing that we do what we can and maybe one day, one of our reportings will prevent this type of incident.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Feb 26, 2006

This is why I've never worked ER or peds, other than taking care of the occasional kiddo with RSV or a hot appy. I've always had a soft spot for the defenseless (which in my mind also includes frail elderly people, developmentally delayed individuals, and pets) and to me, anyone who harms a child is the absolute lowest form of life and should never walk the streets again. No exceptions, no mitigating circumstances, and no second chances........just lock 'em up and throw away the key. :devil:

There is no punishment bad enough for people like this. Frankly, I don't care if the 'mother' of that poor baby rots in a mental hospital or a prison, just as long as she can never again be free to hurt another human being. The same goes for the Andrea Yates and Susan Smiths of the world........who cares if "the devil made them do it"? The results are the same, and even if the child lives, his or her innocence is gone forever. :crying2:

snowfreeze, BSN, RN · Feb 26, 2006

Talk about it on this thread if you dont have anywhere else to do it. Talking helps. I did critical incident stress debriefing at one time and am more than happy to listen to anyone who needs to share an event that is overwhelming. Some type of debriefing is needed in these cases for sure.

Noahm · Feb 26, 2006

I took care of a beautiful baby boy as a nursing student. My instructor was uneasy about giving this assignment to a student but I saw him in his crib and my heart melted. He had been abused for a long time. He was scalded with hot water, beaten, neglected, and only weighed what a 3 month old should weigh yet he was 9 months old. His little member had been burned. He was such love starved baby. I spent the morning cuddling him and we watched gumpy on the TV. I got a little smile from him at the end of the day, which was amazing because he was such a solemn kid.

I wanted to drop out of nursing school and adopt him and take him home and be his mommy. Unfortunately I was only a 19 year old nursing student who lived in a college dorm flat broke so this wasn't an option. That was 10 years ago and I still think about him a lot. Never will I work ER or Pediatrics. Never ever. I don't have it in me to deal with that stuff. Hats off to you guys. I'd lose my mind.