Rude coworkers=bad manners

[CapeCodMermaid]

So. I'm on modified duty because I fell in a patient's yard and wrenched my shoulder. I have been at the main office doing Team Leader stuff because they fired the other TL. I'm sitting in an office...it's Friday. I hear the whole bunch of other team leaders and assistant team leaders talk about ordering lunch. One of them came into the office I was using and asked me if I had seen the menu to the local deli. "No" I said,"but I'm sure hungry enough to eat anything." She left the room and about an hour or so later I heard someone holler "Lunch is here!" All 10 of them had ordered lunch and were all sitting around the table in the hallway eating. Not once had they asked me if I wanted to order something. I took my pitiful can of soup into the kitchen..had to walk right past them mind you, and not one asked if I wanted to sit down.

I was so hurt I went in the office and shut the door. I ended up eating lunch with Patriot's QB Tom Brady...yeah, OKAY, so it was only a poster of him.....

My friend who works in the field told me I should tell my boss (who was off that day) what happened. What's the point? I was going to apply for a team leader position but now I'm not sure I even want to work in the same building as all these rude nurses. I finished all the work they had left for me and after lunch I went to a different non-nursing department where the women are friendly and worked there till the day was over.

[RN1121]

Thank your lucky stars that you don't have to work with them permanently.

[CapeCodMermaid, RN]

If I do work there permanently I think I could get them to change their ways....kill 'em with kindness...greet them all each morning with a huge smile and hello. There is a big sign on one of the office doors that says "Attitude is Contagious"!!! I hope people catch my attitude and not that of the majority.

[CapeCodMermaid, RN]

The saga continues....they did it again today. I've decided to eat with the office staff instead of the nursing staff. And...I asked one of the team leaders if she needed help with reviewing 485s and she yelled at me! Hello....I'm offering help politely and you yell at me? Hmmmm probably won't be offering to help again. Probably going to look for employment elsewhere as well.

[Mandee]

Please don't take this the wrong way but from reading your posts it seems to me that you really don't like home care and have been looking for employment elsewhere since you started with your current agency. Home health is not for everyone and I hope you'll find something soon that makes you happier. Best wishes.

Mandee

[CapeCodMermaid, RN]

You're right, Mandee, I don't like home health care. But I don't like rude people even more. Maybe I'm just too sensitive...perhaps it's genetic. I told my daughter what happened and she started to cry. At least at one place I worked where no one liked their job the other people were kind to eachother.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Maybe I'm just too sensitive...perhaps it's genetic.

Nah, they're a bunch of rhymes with witches. My last place was like that. Eat with the nice staff and get gone when you can.

[texas_lvn]

Good for you for holding your head high and being the better person. (((CCM)))

[RNfaster]

I don't think it sounds like a healthy environment for you. If someone yells at you for offering help, I'd try to probe her for the real problem... It probably isn't the fact that you offered help.

As for folks eating by themselves --in a clique --I think that is normal in many places. I have found cliques when I have been new to a workplace. I have even worked at a place where I was resented as a newcomer as I was replacing folks that had been laid off (and who were earning significantly more than what I was hired at)... At that place, it took about two years to start to fit in with everyone. I made friends where I could, and just went with the flow. There were many layoffs there, but I was still paid very well (even at my "lower" rate), so I accepted some of the negatives.

When there are weird undercurrents --and even blatant negative behavior --I think it may be best to move on if you have options. Sometimes those weird undercurrents reflect negatives in the business, e.g., financial problems.

If you are going to stay, it's best to not read into the negative behavior. --By doing so, and by dwelling on it, you can increase its power. By behaving in a positive manner, and by acting positively assertive, you can reduce it.

You may have laid the ground for them to eat without you with your previous behavior, which could have been perceived as petty and/or high-horsed. --I'd try to reset things...talk to the folks, and even tell them that you felt a bit hurt (but keep it light --and inject some humor if you can) and that you really want to get along and have fun while you work. --Do you really think that most folks consciously try to hurt others? I don't think most of them do. Most folks are concerned with themselves and their immediate sphere.

Another thing, it's best not to criticize folks, except in a constructive conversation with the target. Negative talk can make others avoid the source offering it. It can seem scary to have a frank talk with someone who's hurt you, but I think that it can help. --You might turn someone into a real friend, or at least someone willing to be civil, inclusive and positive.

[CapeCodMermaid, RN]

during the past 2 days at work, I've had 5 people ask me if I wanted to order lunch! Hmmmmm I wonder if any of them read what's on this site?

[morte, LPN, LVN]

during the past 2 days at work, I've had 5 people ask me if I wanted to order lunch! Hmmmmm I wonder if any of them read what's on this site?

betcha.....but, unfortunately, that means you are probably "outed" to them now.........

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Or maybe they've become accustomed to you? Could just be creatures of habit.

[caliotter3]

Some of the time I've felt ok going into my hh agency offices, was even made to feel welcome. Other times, I've been insulted and yelled at in front of other employees or clients. The atmosphere in an office is influenced by the top managers. When they don't create an atmosphere conducive to a pleasant work place, it is noticed. I've had clients make remarks to me, not just other employees. At one time, it was revolving around one person. The office buzzball. Into everything, opinioned about everything, whether or not correct in the matter, and telling everyone, especially her superiors what to do, say, and when. I learned to stay away from the office just because I didn't want to be blamed for putting her in her place in front of others who didn't need to see what a cauldron the office was. That kind of stuff will cause a potential client to take their business elsewhere. The best thing anyone can do when they are working with a group like this, is to make the effort and always be the one who is polite and courteous. Don't let the behavior of others to make you feel belittled, even if it is obvious that is what their intentions are.