HELP Resident calling baby "stupid" What to do!!!??

pennyaline · Nov 3, 2009

:grn:

Groan? Why?

Super_RN, BSN, RN · Nov 3, 2009

Had the resident called any other patient "stupid" and they were old enough / competent enough to report her, it may not happen again or as often. Instead it's a vulnerable baby--I cannot imagine had it been my child and overhearing her words. :angryfire:angryfire Do I vent at work? Absolutely--but not to my patients--especially children. Grow up. If a person can't handle it long enough to step away from the patient and take a breath, get another job.

Otessa, BSN, RN · Nov 3, 2009

So it's NOT ok to vent about the pts and/or family members we are taking care of?
I work on a very busy med/surg unit. I cannot think of an hour that goes by that none of us vent. What is the alternative, to explode?? Meh!

If you are venting to your co-workers(specifically about the patient NOT in general terms) at the desk then someone else could hear you do it.

You can be upset about the situation, being tired, overworked, etc but specifically slamming a particular patient-uh, no....

Guest233447 · Nov 3, 2009

Interesting responses throughout this thread. :)

What about trying a "perception check" in order to try to understand where the resident was coming from with her comments? This exercise will also allow you to express your thoughts about her comment. It could go something like this: "When you called that baby 'stupid', it made me wonder if you were just blowing off steam, or if you believe that calling patients names is acceptable? Could you clarify for me, I was a little upset by that comment?"

I'm in nursing school at this point, but we are being taught conflict management and part of that is never to go above the head of a coworker without first trying to directly, and professionally, discuss the issue with the person yourself.

From my perspective, I would like the opportunity the deal with an issue person-to-person before having a superior involved.

GadgetRN71, ASN, RN · Nov 3, 2009

I don't agree with the resisdent calling the baby stupid. We are all frustrated at work at times, get upset etc but it isn't acceptable to vent like that at work. There have been days where I come home, put in my Wii kickboxing game and go to town, picturing an annoying doctor, coworker or pt as the target.:imbar:D But, I do not call my patients stupid, or mock them-and mine are asleep.

However, I think the OP needs to calmly confront the resident first before taking it up the chain. Perhaps the resident is getting upset because she does care, and the baby doesn't seem to be getting better. I've seen that happen many times.

DLS_PMHNP, MSN, RN, NP · Nov 3, 2009

Interesting responses throughout this thread. :)
"When you called that baby 'stupid', it made me wonder if you were just blowing off steam, or if you believe that calling patients names is acceptable? Could you clarify for me, I was a little upset by that comment?"

Curious,

While this sounds good in theory, in reality, I think you'd get eaten alive.

Best,

Diane

allnurses Guide · Nov 3, 2009

Re: "It makes me sad that some of you take care of our most vulnerable patients"
In that case, let me urge you never to walk through a NICU in the middle of night when all the parents are gone, or you'll hear plenty of horrifying discussions of which babies are annoying, or ugly, or are probably going to die, or have funny-looking memberes.
And while babies may be vulnerable to infection or hypothermia or dehydration, they're not vulnerable to being called stupid, because it doesn't mean anything to them.

It depends on the tone and context. Nurses will sometimes joke about a baby who's hair sticks straight up, or some other peculiarity, but it's said in a manner that's more affectionate than abusive. Sometimes also, though obviously babies can't form intent, we attribute adult motives to them, such as baby did great all day, just waited til the worst possible moment to go bad on you. I don't think this is abuse at all. I wouldn't have a problem hearing it, because I know why and how it was said.

It's hard to tell, with the resident. She may just have a crass sense of humor, or she may be angry and hostile. If it were me, reporting to the Attending would not be my first step. It's hard to know without having been there to see it. I'd err on the side of caution at first, though. I would hope that someone would not drop the world of hurt on me without my having a chance to explain it.

emnicams · Nov 3, 2009

In that case, let me urge you never to walk through a NICU in the middle of night when all the parents are gone, or you'll hear plenty of horrifying discussions of which babies are annoying, or ugly, or are probably going to die, or have funny-looking memberes.

:down:

MassED, BSN, RN · Nov 3, 2009

:cry:Ok. So we had a super sick baby and the blonde tomboy female resident called the baby "stupid"!!! OMG I was shocked!!!!!!!!
The other night she said "F-ing(F-word) baby"!
OMG I just cant believe it!!!!!!!!
How would you guys handle this. I need to say something but I new in the dept. Apparently, she does it all the time. AND I am not going to let her get away with this!

how about "what the F-word is your problem?" haaaaaa....

No seriously, how about "what you said to that baby, "blah blah blah" was completely inappropriate. I am reporting your behavior."

MassED, BSN, RN · Nov 3, 2009

I was under the impression that this doc said this TO the baby. It appears as though some posters believe she was saying something out of earshot of the patient/ family, which changes the situation. As other posters pointed out, we all say things that we wouldn't want patients/families/visitors to hear - to vent. If this was the case, then void my previous post. If she was standing over the child saying "f-ing baby" then that would require a different response and set of actions by me.

MassED, BSN, RN · Nov 3, 2009

Re: "It makes me sad that some of you take care of our most vulnerable patients"
In that case, let me urge you never to walk through a NICU in the middle of night when all the parents are gone, or you'll hear plenty of horrifying discussions of which babies are annoying, or ugly, or are probably going to die, or have funny-looking memberes.
And while babies may be vulnerable to infection or hypothermia or dehydration, they're not vulnerable to being called stupid, because it doesn't mean anything to them.

whoahhh.... are you being facetious?? which ones are "ugly" - really? Maybe humor specific to the NICU I don't understand, but I do know when something sounds outright mean....

MassED, BSN, RN · Nov 3, 2009

Well then, as you are a healthcare worker who is evidently charged with compassion for all people, shouldn't you be trying to understand and empathize with the feelings and motives of the resident who made the remark? Because if you're not doing so, then you must include yourself in the tally of the hypocritical, pompous and insufferable.

the resident is not the patient. The resident CHOSE to get into the profession. Compassion is for the patient, at that time. The resident is an adult, with full ability to make choices and should be held accountable, just as nurses are held accountable for their actions. This nurse is an advocate for her patient first and foremost. Maybe understanding for the resident can come later, but initially it's for that baby. This OP should absolutely be compassionate for all, but in this moment, the resident is not her responsibility. That's just crazy to post that she should include herself to the likes of those that are hypocritical, pompous, and insufferable. No way. Nurses are there for the patients, families, etc - since when are we charged to care for the resident or doctor issues? Please.