HELP Resident calling baby "stupid" What to do!!!??

pennyaline · Nov 4, 2009

I re-read the post to which you responded - I know it's not the OP, and I'm still not clear on your logic...

Clearly you don't get it, and you're probably not going to. So there's no point in trying to explain things further.

MassED, BSN, RN · Nov 4, 2009

well, as long as you understand your point.

:uhoh3:

pennyaline · Nov 4, 2009

well, as long as you understand your point.

Absolutely. That's all that matters.

Riley3 · Nov 5, 2009

This thread has caused quite a bit of different opinions. I think in someways what makes this thread so hostile is that a baby is involved. Honestly I work in and ER and have never said anything offensive about any child I have taken care of, in front of them or even at the desk. Lets just change this and make the patient one of my detox patients who has thrown things, threaten to stab me with one of his dirty needles and has used a couple of 4 letter words in my or another co-workers direction..hmm have I have said F** knock it off A** to him to his face..umm nope..Have I went back to the desk and use some of my own 4 letter words to another co-worker regarding the situation...umm yep. Now does this detox patient deserve any less compassion then lets say the child down the hall or the MI waiting for a bed? Not really in all reality substance abuse is a disease as well as an MI or a sick baby. Have I ever vented at the desk about one of my patients or family members. I have to admit to being guilty about that. Have I ever done it in regards to a baby..no I haven't, it just seems taboo to me.

I also might add that I have never in 16 years of nursing have ever had a patient complaint about my treatment of them. I have vented at the desk and walked into the room as warm as can be and treat them like they are my most important and only patient. I personally am a at the desk vent type of nurse.

The problem with this thread is...where the heck is the OP to explain a little more indepth about the situation..Was the resident in ear shot of the family..Was the resident even in the room with the child? The OP posted a thread that was obviously going to get quite a bit of response and some differences of opinions. We dont know all the facts. I am not saying one person is right or wrong in there opinions. We are all different in the way we express ourselves and to me what matters is what is brought to the bedside. With that being said I think that if any medical professional uses language of behavior that makes you uncomfortable I would not hesistate to state that fact right there and then.

Miss Chybil RN, BSN, RN · Nov 5, 2009

Groan? Why?

I posted :grn: because, by your own logic you weren't acting very compassionate towards the OP.

Take this analogy: Mom walks into room and finds one child hitting another. She immediately begins to hit the child who was doing the hitting and says, "Don't you know it's not nice to hit?"

hopesgramcracker · Nov 5, 2009

pennyaline, you can call me what you want, but the fact is this particular resident needs to learn how to control her mouth; stressed or not. we all get stressed out at times but that doesn't make the behavior excusable. would you be making the same statements if this was your baby? probably not! by the way, is this the way you treat your patients? please. :down:

DaFreak71 · Nov 5, 2009

Got a major laugh at the Onion "article". One of my favorite sites.

Can we just get real here for a second? Nurses have a peculiar habit of acting as though they are the protectors of all of humanity. The self righteous attitudes are getting so old. I love it when I get to be around the guy nurses because they aren't all flooded with estrogen and generally have a more laid back style. All this posturing about how "this is soooooooooo unacceptable" makes for a pretty drama filled work environment. :yawn:

If it seriously bugs you to the point where it throws you for a wicked loop, just say something to the resident. Don't get all gestapo and report her for it. Otherwise, just try to chill out. :smokin:

I don't care tons about this, but I was a bit amused at the reference to the residents tomboy short hair or something to that effect. Almost sounded like a "She's probably a lesbian" insult. I could very well be wrong, but why even bring up her physical appearance (and why make it sound like she's butch or something)? Then again...perhaps I'M reading too much into this LOL. But for the record, if I worked with you and I perceived you to be making anti-gay remarks, I'd say something directly to you but I sure wouldn't go charting it or running to the boss. That's a bit childish. And I'm a die hard liberal LOL...so gender/sexuality issues are one of my "hot buttons".

Either way...it's all good. :cool:

MassED, BSN, RN · Nov 5, 2009

:nono:

Got a major laugh at the Onion "article". One of my favorite sites.
Can we just get real here for a second? Nurses have a peculiar habit of acting as though they are the protectors of all of humanity. The self righteous attitudes are getting so old. I love it when I get to be around the guy nurses because they aren't all flooded with estrogen and generally have a more laid back style. All this posturing about how "this is soooooooooo unacceptable" makes for a pretty drama filled work environment.
If it seriously bugs you to the point where it throws you for a wicked loop, just say something to the resident. Don't get all gestapo and report her for it. Otherwise, just try to chill out.
I don't care tons about this, but I was a bit amused at the reference to the residents tomboy short hair or something to that effect. Almost sounded like a "She's probably a lesbian" insult. I could very well be wrong, but why even bring up her physical appearance (and why make it sound like she's butch or something)? Then again...perhaps I'M reading too much into this LOL. But for the record, if I worked with you and I perceived you to be making anti-gay remarks, I'd say something directly to you but I sure wouldn't go charting it or running to the boss. That's a bit childish. And I'm a die hard liberal LOL...so gender/sexuality issues are one of my "hot buttons".
Either way...it's all good.

give me a break about the Estrogen comments - not all female nurses are filled with so much drama - there are many who are laid back, just maybe not at your facility. Perhaps those laid back, estrogen free nurses stay away from the drama, and if you're in close vicinity to that... well, then...... I avoid those drama nurses, male and female alike. Now, what I wish would change is for the male nurses would be as attention-detailed as the females. Ah, not nice to generalize, is it? :nono:

And for the record, doesn't matter if you're male or female - I couldn't tell your gender from your remarks, but I realize when I read sexist comments. Give me a break, really. :down:

NickB · Nov 5, 2009

Re: "It makes me sad that some of you take care of our most vulnerable patients"
In that case, let me urge you never to walk through a NICU in the middle of night when all the parents are gone, or you'll hear plenty of horrifying discussions of which babies are annoying, or ugly, or are probably going to die, or have funny-looking memberes.
And while babies may be vulnerable to infection or hypothermia or dehydration, they're not vulnerable to being called stupid, because it doesn't mean anything to them.

Hey! This is a great point! So as long as it happens all of the time, then it makes it okay. Great!

Reading this thread is making me sick. There is not a single one of you on hear that is a parent who would be ok with ANYONE referring to your baby as "f-ing baby"! This behavior is grotesque. The resident should be confronted, and documentation should happen. Then, if it persists, I would go right up the chain of command. I am appalled that there are people on here actually justifying this behavior. The nurse is the advocate for the patient they are assigned to and you should ALWAYS be working for their best interest. And, if I were in a NICU at night and heard fellow nurses speaking this way to the infants, I would squash it immediately. I'm not hear to make friends, I have those outside of work. I'm hear to care for people in their time of need.

NickB · Nov 5, 2009

So it's NOT ok to vent about the pts and/or family members we are taking care of?
I work on a very busy med/surg unit. I cannot think of an hour that goes by that none of us vent. What is the alternative, to explode?? Meh!

Venting behind closed doors is one thing. Cussing out a baby or any patient is totally different and completely unacceptable.

pennyaline · Nov 5, 2009

pennyaline,... by the way, is this the way you treat your patients? please.

see, it's that kind of knee jerk, ad hominem judgment i'm talking about.

pennyaline · Nov 5, 2009

I posted :grn: because, by your own logic you weren't acting very compassionate towards the OP.
Take this analogy: Mom walks into room and finds one child hitting another. She immediately begins to hit the child who was doing the hitting and says, "Don't you know it's not nice to hit?"

Please go back through this thread and see the only response I wrote to the OP. I wrote it on October 30, and advised her not to write up the event in the patient's chart (a previous responder had advised she should chart it). Then I told her to put her complaint in writing to her higher-ups and restrict it to facts only. I have said nothing more to the OP, and I don't believe that I showed lack of compassion or unwillingness to understand where she was coming from. You must not have been unhappy with my response, as you gave me kudos for it.

And of course, that being the case, I don't understand why you cited that analogy for my benefit.