Help! Question for all RN's! ARE NURSES MEAN TO EACHOTHER??

mismissy69 · Mar 21, 2007

hi, i'm a student applying to nursing schools right now. some of my friends are in nursing school, and i know a person that is an rn. i understand that nurses mostly consist of women... i'm a girl and i know how girls can be to eachother - unecessarily gossipy, clique-ish, or just downright mean. has anyone seen mean girls the movie? yes, a teenie bopper film, i know, but unfortunately some women more or less, adults can perpetuate their rude mannerisms. i know not all employees are perfect and we don't live in a perfect world, however i hear stories from friends... stories about how their clinical (girl) instructors at school are b*tches, and like to take power trips.... or how my friend worked at a hospital being a student nurse, and the staff was totally divided up into cliques, specifically races (ie fillipinos, caucasians, african-americans, etc). or an rn i know gets treated meanly, with attitudes thrown her way when she is so nice, and is sometimes ostracized by her employees bc they break off into cliques! :smiley_abi know that nursing is about helping others, and of course, has its positives, but when i imagine myself being a nurse, i can't help but to worry about how social conflicts, or employee to employee interactions may come about. i know all jobs can be like this of course... but nurses seem to have more of that problem? can someone help me out and be honest??

unfortunately i think the phrase that nurses eat their young is true. in my experience i have seen how other nurses can be. when you're new your an outsider and they have to feel you out first so they treat you like a stepchild, the one's that have been at the job forvever see you as a job threat ahhh then comes the cliques, where if you dont fall in they try to make your life hell. i think it's all childish and i think that sometimes people forget the reason why they became nurses. we are here to help & take care of people not to play catty immature high school girls trying to be most popular. again this is my personal experience and opinion im not talking about everybody. there are some nice ones out there who are genuine and embrace new nurses but more than likely those are the ones who arent in the clique and are going about their business. at one facility i worked at there was only one and she was the sweetest thing and everyone talked about her like a dog which i thought was dead wrong, but maybe it was because they thought or knew they couldnt measure up to her.

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Mar 21, 2007

I can't participate. Just an LPN - obviously, I know nothing about nurses.

gonzo1, ASN, RN · Mar 21, 2007

Don't be upset Suesquatch, the remark was from someone who isn't familiar with nursing roles, degrees and jobs. Time will teach them. Don't you think? In the mean time I am an RN who has been taught many valuable lessons from LPNs and CNAs. We all have something we can share with each other to benefit our patients. One of the most outstanding CNAs I work with was a hospital housekeeper for years. She is a natural nurse and I trust her with my patients life. She is an incredible asset to our ER. I don't look at degrees or titles, but rather at what the person can offer to the care of our patients. And I have cleaned more blood, pee and poop than I care to remember. As a matter of fact it's a joke that my daily goal is to go home without anybody elses body fluids on me. Almost never obtained. Still I love my job and the people I work with.

shisalion · Mar 21, 2007

Yes, nurses can be mean to each other. Women that work in non-medical corporate office settings can be mean and domineering to each other too (worked in an office before working as an RN and witnessed the behaviors firsthand). Graduate from school, get your first job, learn all you can, keep a stiff upper lip and ignore the catty wenches. When you have enough practical experience, you can pick and choose where you work. Eventually, you'll find a pleasant working environment.

AudioGirl · Mar 21, 2007

i can't participate. just an lpn - obviously, i know nothing about nurses.

suesquatch,

if you were refering to me, and were at all offended by what i had wrote earlier, my apologies. my choice of bad words. i know pretty much close to nothing about lpn's, and nurse assistants. as a prospective nursing student, i'm just trying to learn how the whole hospital occupations work and their community as i go along. i just wasn't sure nurses had the authority to "manage" the nurse assistants or lpn's. just like i'm guessing nurse managers manage and have authority over nurses?... if they don't, and i am totally wrong, sorry!!! :smackingf sorry, i've never worked inside a hospital. toootally just guessing right now. i would never belittle another occupation.

mismissy69 · Mar 21, 2007

I can't participate. Just an LPN - obviously, I know nothing about nurses.

DON'T EVER SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are integral part of your staff. This is another thing I am sick of, some RN's thinking they are better than LPN's. There are some people who have been LPN's for 20 years and know more than a person who has been an RN for 20 minutes. This is why I left the previous facility I was at, for lack of respect. In some instances it takes what 12 more months at most to become an RN if you are an LPN, at least in my state. so what makes them better. The only thing that we can't do (and yes I am an LPN) that the RN's can't do is assess, hang blood, run Iv's on a central line and start IV's everything else is fair game. So don't sell yourself short you are important!

mismissy69 · Mar 21, 2007

maybe i should think of it that way... thanks for the advice mimi. i was talking to my friend today and her mom is an rn at a nursing home, and she said the exact same thing you did here. i'm not going to lie, i'm scared cause my personality is very nice, very empathetic, caring, i don't really like confrontation or negative working environments, and i try to get along w/everyone. i could even say i'm too nice of a person, so hearing all these stories about how doctors, patients, pt's families, nursing managers, and even nurses-- yell at nurses!!... i feel very skeptical. sigh... maybe i'll just worry about it once i finish nursing school.

nussing is a team effort there is no way you are gonna know eveything and to sit here and downgrade anyone who in your words is "below" you and you are just a student is very offensive. i have met nurses who have had their bachelors & masters in this profession and don't know what to do when something critical has happened or something that common sense would tell you to do or that "nurses instinct" that you have ,would have to do if an unfortunate situation arises because they thought they were above & beyond floor nurses.

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Mar 21, 2007

Okay, I'm not offended anymore.

I just get tired of seeing things like - "Nurses! How do you RN's feel about this?" and being excluded from the role and discussion, deliberately or not.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 21, 2007

Nussing is a team effort there is no way you are gonna know eveything and to sit here and downgrade anyone who in your words is "below" you and you are just a STUDENT is very offensive. I have met nurses who have had their bachelors & masters in this profession and don't know what to do when something critical has happened or something that common sense would tell you to do or that "nurses instinct" that you have ,would have to do if an unfortunate situation arises because they thought they were above & beyond floor nurses.

A few posts later the original poster came back and apologized and admitted her choice of words wasn't meant to be inflammatory.

Let's try to educate the original poster without feeding into her fears that we are a mean bunch of people. :lol2:

nurseRabbit · Mar 21, 2007

Over the last decade I've seen some rather agressive backbiting. I've seen husband "stealing" among friends. I've seen nurses set up to be fired. Nurses can be ugly. I recently overheard a nurse take a students chair for herself and said,"She's just a student anyway." I promptly told that nurse that she is rude and reminded her that she was a student once also!

nurseinlimbo · Mar 21, 2007

I would have to say yes. I have been a nurse for 3.5 years, and an aide for 10 yrs before that. I have found that many nursing environments are toxic. There are always older established groups that have great difficulty in allowing a new staff member in the door, even though they are shortstaffed and can't get vacation time or a day off when they need it. I have never understood why a floor would deliberately belittle and demean a new hire that they need desperately, but they do it, and lots of times the managers not only tolerate it, but are involved.

I have worked psych as an undergrad and later an RN, stayed for a short time due to the lack of challenge. The nurses there demonstrated that they were mostly there for the pension and paycheque, rarely left the conference room for 1:1's. Were upset if new people acted like they had an active interest in their job. I stayed there 3 months and left.

I have worked LTC, a facility that was known for "chasing away" new nurses. I stayed 6 months, worked mostly evenings and nights, enjoyed the work, but the staff made it difficult, the manager made it impossible.

I worked rural hospital, 16 beds and ER, had a nurse who would show up for nights an hour late whenever she knew I was working, who belittled me when I did a live report each day. I stayed there for 6 months and moved on.

I worked psycho geriatrics, a 25 bed ward with both RNs and LPNs, some staff were great, but the clique would make things up and report me. I left there to take OR training.

OR training was partially paid for by the hospital due to short staffing issues, I graduated the program with honors, my first preceptor cried 3 times in one week and screamed at me after a TAH. The manager made me feel as though I was the dumbest new OR nurse ever, and had the educator set me up to fail. I attempted to gain employment at a smaller rural OR, but the managers had already spoken, my interview was just a freak show so that she could meet the loser. Going through school I had always wanted to work OR, and I really enjoyed the work.

I returned to my original job where I worked as an aide, I work nights and evenings, the pace is too slow, not very challenging, I don't feel like I use my brain, and I know that I am better than this. It has come down to working for the paycheque for me too, sad to say. I don't feel like it would be productive to take more courses or get my BN, as I am afraid of the nursing culture being this way everywhere.

Until nurses can work together, respect eachother and demand changes in the way things are done, we will never get the respect we deserve from management and the public/.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 21, 2007

okay, i'm not offended anymore.
i just get tired of seeing things like - "nurses! how do you rn's feel about this?" and being excluded from the role and discussion, deliberately or not.

and on the upside, you're not included in the "are all rns mean to each other?" either!