Help! Question for all RN's! ARE NURSES MEAN TO EACHOTHER??

Nurses General Nursing

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hi, i'm a student applying to nursing schools right now. some of my friends are in nursing school, and i know a person that is an rn. i understand that nurses mostly consist of women... i'm a girl and i know how girls can be to eachother - unecessarily gossipy, clique-ish, or just downright mean. has anyone seen mean girls the movie? yes, a teenie bopper film, i know, but unfortunately some women more or less, adults can perpetuate their rude mannerisms. i know not all employees are perfect and we don't live in a perfect world, however i hear stories from friends... stories about how their clinical (girl) instructors at school are b*tches, and like to take power trips.... or how my friend worked at a hospital being a student nurse, and the staff was totally divided up into cliques, specifically races (ie fillipinos, caucasians, african-americans, etc). or an rn i know gets treated meanly, with attitudes thrown her way when she is so nice, and is sometimes ostracized by her employees bc they break off into cliques! :smiley_abi know that nursing is about helping others, and of course, has its positives, but when i imagine myself being a nurse, i can't help but to worry about how social conflicts, or employee to employee interactions may come about. i know all jobs can be like this of course... but nurses seem to have more of that problem? can someone help me out and be honest??

the direct way to answer your question: yes! the bullies are there. but, you know what? i remember bullies when i was a receptionist in a law office too. every workplace has a myriad of personalities from the nice, quiet folks to the crazies. what i think is important is that you have management with a zero tolerance for cliques, harassment, etc.

maybe i should think of it that way... thanks for the advice mimi. i was talking to my friend today and her mom is an rn at a nursing home, and she said the exact same thing you did here. i'm not going to lie, i'm scared cause my personality is very nice, very empathetic, caring, i don't really like confrontation or negative working environments, and i try to get along w/everyone. i could even say i'm too nice of a person, so hearing all these stories about how doctors, patients, pt's families, nursing managers, and even nurses-- yell at nurses!!... i feel very skeptical. sigh... maybe i'll just worry about it once i finish nursing school. :uhoh3:

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i hope she does open up to you. if she doesn't, the hell with her!! she's just one person, and seems like a snob.

[in response to stayingoutoftrouble]

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forgot to add. school can be a challenge due to the many personalities you will encounter. just keep in mind you are there to learn how to help people and save lives and don't worry about the mean people or people you can't get along with. use your time in school to study and learn the most that you can. that way you will be the best nurse you can be.

great advice with this and your previous post gonzo, thanks! ;)

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Specializes in ICU, SDU, OR, RR, Ortho, Hospice RN.

I have been nursing now for 30 years this year.

In all honesty I have not witnessed a lot of 'mean' nurses. I have always had the opinion it comes from within ourselves to portray a positive outlook no matter how stinky the day is.

I have had some 'snappy' questions or answers tossed my way, I step back and breathe, then respond. So easy to go off the handle but more professional to step back before responding.

Go finish your training, head out into the work force and make it work for you. Do not be put off by hear say etc. Make your own assessment once you have worked for a while eh?

Any awkward spot should be easily sorted out by peers or higher.

I would pray that if ever I was in a predicament with another peer that we would be adult enough to sort it out without having to run the gauntlet of command.

I love nursing and I LOVE my final move into Hospice Nursing. The most rewarding and heart warming area I have ever worked.

Thanks Lord for leading into this field.

Best of all good things go to you AudioGirl.

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hi,

i have worked in units with bullies and units without them. two units i worked at in a local hospital were both run and ruled by nurse assistant bully cliques! phew! crazy. they ruled the floor and i am certain caused stress to even both nurse managers. yes, they both chased me off the floor. one nurse manager asked me to stay for a few months while they worked it out but, due to threats of physical violence, i left, regrettably. the other nurse manager was wrapped around the assistants finger. the assistant had been there 20 years and was obvious to everyone but the manager.

hindsight is 20/20, bullies are not worth leaving a job yet, a toxic workplace and timing are factors to consider.

gen

aren'ts nurse assistants below nurses according to professional status? like they are lpns, and mostly do the unwanted "dirtier" work that nurses don't have to do on occasion?

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Specializes in OR,Hemodialysis.

In my own point of view, yes! oh yes! Mean nurses are around. Did you ever experience being the ONLY new nurse in the unit? I would say ,I had a very untoward,unfriendly culture at this "prestigious" hospital. I experienced being bullied by the circle of friends in the unit. I would be excluded to join them in the tea break & discussions. It was showing and seemed likd they never liked my reaction because I wasnt affected at all. My manager was very nice and I stayed in the unit for her! Imagine.

It took several months before I gained their friendship. I stayed professional and in good working relationship with everyone else. I carried on being that way and one day the news came around the unit. All were suprised because I resigned on a 24-hr notice. I left and went to america..My american dream! Sometimes when Im alone, I thought of those colleagues who hurt me so badly because seemed like I never gave them enough chance to be nice to me when we were already starting to develop a good rapport to one another. Being bullied is i guess better than being excluded. At least they notice you hehehe!

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aren'ts nurse assistants below nurses according to professional status? like they are lpns, and mostly do the unwanted "dirtier" work that nurses don't have to do on occasion?

whoa.........those are fight-pickin' words.......yes, there are rns who will try to get lvns and cnas to do the dirty work, but most of us are not like that and treat everyone as a member of our team. i don't ask my cnas to do anything that i'm not willing to do.

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Specializes in ITU/Emergency.

hey!

aren'ts nurse assistants below nurses according to professional status? like they are lpns, and mostly do the unwanted "dirtier" work that nurses don't have to do on occasion?

i would be very careful making statements like that! no-one, whether its a rn, a lpn, a nursing assistant, doctor, cleaner, whoever, is 'below' another...we are all equals in this world and its statements like that , that lead to unwanted and unhelpful divisions in the workplace. its quite apt though that those comments were made on this thread as obviously nurses are only human and unfortantly,can be mean to each other. despite what people think, nurses are not angels and share faults with everybody else! its important just to make sure that you are true to yourself and remember that everyone has good and bad days....just rise above anyone being mean to you but never accept bullying....there is no place for it in any workplace and there are usually channels to go through to deal with bullies.

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hey!

i would be very careful making statements like that! no-one, whether its a rn, a lpn, a nursing assistant, doctor, cleaner, whoever, is 'below' another...we are all equals in this world and its statements like that , that lead to unwanted and unhelpful divisions in the workplace. its quite apt though that those comments were made on this thread as obviously nurses are only human and unfortantly,can be mean to each other. despite what people think, nurses are not angels and share faults with everybody else! its important just to make sure that you are true to yourself and remember that everyone has good and bad days....just rise above anyone being mean to you but never accept bullying....there is no place for it in any workplace and there are usually channels to go through to deal with bullies.

i see what you are saying. what i meant was on someone's post, the assistant nurses were running the show and i just found that-- not to put it meanly - "odd" that they were the bossy, aggressive ones...bc usually from what i hear nurses sometimes can boss around the assistant nurses so i was somewhat shocked. i hope i didn't offend any lpns, or assistants... they are important too of course, just like everyone else in the health field.

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Must be a chick thing, guys always get along.

:lol2:

Seriously though in my experience with bully Nurses (and bully Docs for that matter) if you stand up for yourself in a strong yet polite manner it tends to mellow them out a bit. I believe that being a bully stems from lack of self confidence (duh!) and they will look for easier targets if you show them you are not weak.

Peace,

Tripps

P.S. Just kidding about the "chick" thing, please don't kill me! :uhoh21:

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
Must be a chick thing, guys always get along.

:lol2:

Seriously though in my experience with bully Nurses (and bully Docs for that matter) if you stand up for yourself in a strong yet polite manner it tends to mellow them out a bit. I believe that being a bully stems from lack of self confidence (duh!) and they will look for easier targets if you show them you are not weak.

Peace,

Tripps

P.S. Just kidding about the "chick" thing, please don't kill me! :uhoh21:

Of course you're kidding. Look at how the American guys in the White House are getting along with the guys in Iraq. Guys take it to the extreme and shoot each other. Look at post offices. :lol2:

Just kidding. Please don't kill me.

I'm still not ready to brandish the entire profession as mean. Guess I'm lucky that the overwhelming majority of nurses I've worked with have been very easy to work with, are caring and compassionate to their patients, and are just like me struggling to make the best of what is sometimes a bad and stressful job. I have run across some catty mean nurses, but not enough to for me to be bitter and angry. I have left one job as a charge nurse because I didn't like who I worked with, so it hasn't been a bowl of cherries for me either. I'm glad I dealt with it and stayed in nursing.

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Specializes in ICU, SDU, OR, RR, Ortho, Hospice RN.

i agree captain tripps in that standing up for oneself in a strong yet polite manner does work.

i had a neurosurgeon 'try' to rip me an new **** if you know what i mean lol and i just requested that he step outside of icu for a moment. which he did *faint* and then i let him know exactly how i felt etc. he had a legitimate complaint but i was not the one that did not do what he requested. all i said to him that i treat him with respect and i expect nothing less than that for myself. i offered to follow through on his complaint and get back to him before the end of the shift. which i did and after that incident we became rather good friends. but talking to him in a polite way did more good than yelling at him. ( i really did want to kick his shins but commensense prevailed.. darn it, gets me all the time hahahaha)

so yes you get more bees with honey eh?

as for the chick thing... did you feel me kick your shins? ;) lol

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