Help Military Nurse! Input on my family situation!

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Hello Military Nurses,

I'm deciding whether military nursing is still right for me or not. I hoping for your input.

Right now, my family consisting of me, my mother and grandfather lives on one roof. My father is an enlisted man in Army so I the military is not something new to me. My father is presently away on an unaccompanied tour outside the country while we live here in California. Recently, my father has decided he wanted to divorce my financially poor mother, after 25 years of marriage. :crying2::crying2::crying2: While he has not gone through the formal procedures yet, I know it will come knocking down sooner or later. I need to able to support my mother and grandfather financially and to provide them with housing, in the event my father does this. My question is, if I become a brand new ensign 0-1 in the Nurse Corps, would it be okay to bring my family and have them live with me? Will it be looked down upon by my superiors? I really want to be in the military but at the same time, if it means that I cannot support my family, then it may seem like the military might not be for me. I will not throw my family under the bus to pursue my own dreams. I don't mind deploying to Afghanistan or Iraq but I need to be certain that my poor mother and grandmother have a place to stay and food on the table. Thank you for hearing me out. I will be required to make a decision soon. Please pray for me.

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May I ask how far along you are in the recruitment process? Once you are done training you can live with whoever you want, however if you are asking about bringing mom and grandma on base that would be a negative.

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May I ask how far along you are in the recruitment process? Once you are done training you can live with whoever you want, however if you are asking about bringing mom and grandma on base that would be a negative.

Hi tang 79Tango,

I have been pro'red and I'm waiting for final selection which according to my recruiter should come soon. My mom can come on base as she is still military dependent to her soon to be ex-husband.

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Just because your mom is allowed on base doesnt mean she can live in the Bachelor Qtrs...

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Just because your mom is allowed on base doesnt mean she can live in the Bachelor Qtrs...

Is it best to drop this whole military thing, given my new situation? I can't believe I've come so far in the process only to have this situation fall upon me.

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Absolutely Not.. Your mom is going to be fine. Especially since your Father is in the miliary and you live in CA--- she will be well taken care of.

Besides do you think she would allow you put your career & future on hold to stay home and take care of her?

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

And she will be entitled to part of his pay now, pension later as well that she will get to keep tricare.

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Absolutely Not.. Your mom is going to be fine. Especially since your Father is in the miliary and you live in CA--- she will be well taken care of.

Besides do you think she would allow you put your career & future on hold to stay home and take care of her?

And she will be entitled to part of his pay now, pension later as well that she will get to keep tricare.

She told me of similar thing. She told me to not worry about her and that we will survive even without dad's help.I just hope that, if my dad is having an affair with another woman during his 2 year long unaccompanied overseas, that he does not throw her under the bus too in the same way he did to my mother who was faithful to him for 25 years and who sacrificed her career due to the constant 3 year move. I just hope other military officers will not look down on me, if when I get to my first duty station, I will bring my mother and grandfather with me. I am single by the way. :crying2::crying2::crying2::crying2:

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Just for background information to appreciate the whole situation: how old are you? are you already a nurse? are your mother/grandmother unemployed or on death's door?

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Just for background information to appreciate the whole situation: how old are you? are you already a nurse? are your mother/grandmother unemployed or on death's door?

I'm 24 years old. I'm a a new nurse - unemployed but I'm confident of my abilities to get a civilian job due to some connections. My mother works, but the problem is, we have a huge mortgage and my dad's salary is needed to maintain that. My grandfather does not work. He is not disabled but does not work. Nobody is on death's doors. Its just that- if my dad decides to throw us under the bus- my mother and grandpa will be in financial ruin. For the past 5 years, we have struggled financially (probably one of the reasons why Dad wants to divorce) but 2011 has been such a positive year for us (financially). If this divorce goes through, AND **if** father decides to throw us under the bus we WILL be in financial ruin, undoing all the gains we made in 2011. I just feel that if I stay home for a little bit and get a civilian job, it will be easier for mom and grandpa. I dont live near a naval base, by the way. Its so difficult, as I need to decide soon, if I become a final select whether to sign the dotted line.

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Specializes in ICU, ER, OR, FNP.
And she will be entitled to part of his pay now, pension later as well that she will get to keep tricare.

Yep. It's the only profession where they steal your retirement and give it to your ex. It still amazes me after all of these years.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Don't even go there!!! I've been married very happily for almost 31 yrs to a now retired military member. However, I have given up my military career, put my education on hold, have sacrificed significant retirement savings.

Yes, I have always worked in whatever was available in three other countries, have lived by myself with my while he did a remote.

So yes, I do deserve a portion of his retirement pay if we were to divorce.

Ok. Sorry to get off topic.

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