I'm deciding whether military nursing is still right for me or not. I hoping for your input.
Right now, my family consisting of me, my mother and grandfather lives on one roof. My father is an enlisted man in Army so I the military is not something new to me. My father is presently away on an unaccompanied tour outside the country while we live here in California. Recently, my father has decided he wanted to divorce my financially poor mother, after 25 years of marriage. :crying2: While he has not gone through the formal procedures yet, I know it will come knocking down sooner or later. I need to able to support my mother and grandfather financially and to provide them with housing, in the event my father does this. My question is, if I become a brand new ensign 0-1 in the Nurse Corps, would it be okay to bring my family and have them live with me? Will it be looked down upon by my superiors? I really want to be in the military but at the same time, if it means that I cannot support my family, then it may seem like the military might not be for me. I will not throw my family under the bus to pursue my own dreams. I don't mind deploying to Afghanistan or Iraq but I need to be certain that my poor mother and grandmother have a place to stay and food on the table. Thank you for hearing me out. I will be required to make a decision soon. Please pray for me.
I know I'm supposed to be laughing but I don't have the energy to laugh right how. I'm hurting inside. Sorry.
I was not telling you this to make you laugh, its how I would honestly respond if you were in my unit.
There are numerous issues with the way you are responding to this situation. Compounding these issues, some of your plans and comments come across as immature for a prosepctive military officer. While you are reflecting on this situation, please take time and re-evaluate your choice of pursuing a military career.
I was not telling you this to make you laugh, its how I would honestly respond if you were in my unit.
There are numerous issues with the way you are responding to this situation. Compounding these issues, some of your plans and comments come across as immature for a prosepctive military officer. While you are reflecting on this situation, please take time and re-evaluate your choice of pursuing a military career.
I will not be debating with you, if you feel that some of my comments come across as immature for prospective military officer. You are entitled to your opinion, and I listen to all feedback, regardless of whether its positive or not. But since you feel that some of my comments come off as immature, then I'm certain that you must have understanding of maturity. At the same token, since maturity is required for all Military officers, I'm certain that your disposition when interacting with others must must be mature and not immature.
That said, lets re-examine your old post:
Since you asked: yes, I would look down on you; I'm judgemental like that. Proving yourself would elevate you, but I'd still mock you.
Are post like these an example of a mature military officer? I understand that you are taught leadership skills in the Military. To be a leader, one requires maturity. Unless I'm living in a different planet, mature leaders don't hold back who want to succeed, right? Mature leaders don't mock others right. If there is something wrong, they take corrective actions, but those corrective actions need not to include mocking right? I understand if you would look down on my situation. I'm not happy about it either. But to physically "mock" me? C'mon on. I asked if military officers would look down on my situation and I definitely got my answer, but "mocking" me takes it to another level - almost like act of cruelty.
I sure hope that not all officers are judgmental, like you claim to be. Tunnel vision thinking is very scary. While I'm reflecting on this situation, I will definitely take the time and re-evaluate my choice of pursuing a military career. Before I sign the dotted line (if I do sign), I'll make certain that I'll know how to deal with leaders who think like yourself. Otherwise, I might just get "cursed" for signing the dotted line.
The military is all about independence and for the active duty military person - you have to be ready to quickly move and not have "entanglements." I say this as both a military vet who was married to a career military guy. We had a baby and yes, we both had great difficulty managing our lives with our son - however, we did it. As a military wife, my husband was often deployed, I still worked full time, went to school full time and took care of the kids. I never expected my husband to take me with him - I firmly understood that I had to be independent.
You keep saying "throw them under the bus" - what's wrong with Mom and Grandpa getting a job? You are only under the bus because you allow yourself to be. I doubt Mom is very old since you are only 24. I'm 52 and I work full time, went back to school full time for a couple of degrees and plan to work till I'm 70. (I'll have to - but that's another story - lol).
I do agree that since this is such an agonizing decision for you, that maybe saying no is the better choice for you.
" I asked if military officers would look down on my situation and I definitely got my answer, but "mocking" me takes it to another level - almost like act of cruelty."
Its a cruel world Buddy.. Cursed was only giving you the straight answer.. Everyone would mock you and I mean everyone. What do you think- your going to NeverNeverLand where you never grow up? Nobody cares how much you want to succeed. Until you proved yourself(which would take even longer with mommy and grampys troubles) you would be CLOWNED. I can already tell you would crack under the pressure. You talk about leadership like you know something about it.. What do you think would happen if you brought you moms to the Bachelor Qtrs? I can think of a few things... None of them good.
I know you feel like you've been getting quite the beating on this board, but these other nurses are only trying to tell it to you straight. I am a brand new Army Nurse. I just finished BOLC (the Army version of Officer's Basic Training) and am now working at Walter Reed in DC. I can assure you that worrying about your family is perfectly normal. Though my parents are not in the situation that yours are in, they too are struggling against the tides of the economy as they are self-employed and most of their customers are largely dependent on government grants to pay for their products. My best advice to you is to let Mom and Grandpa fend for themselves. They've been around a lot longer than you and, being that they are both able to care for themselves, they have the means to make it through, should the divorce actually happen. You, however, will regret it someday if you put your life on hold waiting for "if" the divorce happens. Don't let your father's potential decisions hinder your life. You will regret that. The duty you feel to your family is admirable, but it will hold you back in the service because once you join, your overriding responsilibility is to the military and no one else. As many others have pointed out, attempting to split that up is foolish and will not bode well for your career.
I know you said that you're a military brat and the military is like home. That's all well and good, but do keep in mind that being a military brat and being a military officer are two totally different things. You are used to one side of the coin in the military--being a dependent. If you join, you'll see a totally different side of things, many of which will not be familiar.
I guess to sum up, if you really feel that you must support your family directly, get that civilian job so that you can stay close to them and look after their needs. If you feel that they, being adults, are capable of caring for themselves and that you, as a young man, need to strike out on your own, then hop outta the nest and start to flappin' those wings, because as you yourself must know, this may be the only chance you get at the military.
I know you feel like you've been getting quite the beating on this board, but these other nurses are only trying to tell it to you straight. I am a brand new Army Nurse. I just finished BOLC (the Army version of Officer's Basic Training) and am now working at Walter Reed in DC. I can assure you that worrying about your family is perfectly normal. Though my parents are not in the situation that yours are in, they too are struggling against the tides of the economy as they are self-employed and most of their customers are largely dependent on government grants to pay for their products. My best advice to you is to let Mom and Grandpa fend for themselves. They've been around a lot longer than you and, being that they are both able to care for themselves, they have the means to make it through, should the divorce actually happen. You, however, will regret it someday if you put your life on hold waiting for "if" the divorce happens. Don't let your father's potential decisions hinder your life. You will regret that. The duty you feel to your family is admirable, but it will hold you back in the service because once you join, your overriding responsilibility is to the military and no one else. As many others have pointed out, attempting to split that up is foolish and will not bode well for your career.
I know you said that you're a military brat and the military is like home. That's all well and good, but do keep in mind that being a military brat and being a military officer are two totally different things. You are used to one side of the coin in the military--being a dependent. If you join, you'll see a totally different side of things, many of which will not be familiar.
I guess to sum up, if you really feel that you must support your family directly, get that civilian job so that you can stay close to them and look after their needs. If you feel that they, being adults, are capable of caring for themselves and that you, as a young man, need to strike out on your own, then hop outta the nest and start to flappin' those wings, because as you yourself must know, this may be the only chance you get at the military.
:crying2:
CRF250Xpert
233 Posts
I took my mommy to Army Basic Training. Well actually it was graduation, but still - she was there.