I'm deciding whether military nursing is still right for me or not. I hoping for your input.
Right now, my family consisting of me, my mother and grandfather lives on one roof. My father is an enlisted man in Army so I the military is not something new to me. My father is presently away on an unaccompanied tour outside the country while we live here in California. Recently, my father has decided he wanted to divorce my financially poor mother, after 25 years of marriage. :crying2: While he has not gone through the formal procedures yet, I know it will come knocking down sooner or later. I need to able to support my mother and grandfather financially and to provide them with housing, in the event my father does this. My question is, if I become a brand new ensign 0-1 in the Nurse Corps, would it be okay to bring my family and have them live with me? Will it be looked down upon by my superiors? I really want to be in the military but at the same time, if it means that I cannot support my family, then it may seem like the military might not be for me. I will not throw my family under the bus to pursue my own dreams. I don't mind deploying to Afghanistan or Iraq but I need to be certain that my poor mother and grandmother have a place to stay and food on the table. Thank you for hearing me out. I will be required to make a decision soon. Please pray for me.
That's definitely a difficult situation. I hope your mother looks at different options as far as her mortgage goes- downsizing even. I give you credit for feeling so strongly about your family.
I know I'm more selfish- I'd join, and then send 'em extra money when I could. She's been a military wife all these years, I'm sure she'll be just fine without you. The hardest part (if you do sign up) is being homesick- especially if your mom is upset over a pending divorce.
If the whole family is incapable of caring for themselves, then you could have them all made your dependents and they could live with you in base housing. You’d also get w/ dep rates for pay and they would all get your healthcare etc.
If it’s simply that you are concerned about your family – well welcome to the club. We all care about our mom and dad and our grandparents. If their well-being is the hinge upon which your career decisions lay – you may want to consider something less demanding than the United States Military. We are in 3 wars, so depending on your specialty, you may very well be gone much of the time.
With that said, there are as many reasons that people join the mil as there are people serving. Join for whatever reasons you have, just please be prepared to give 100%. There are a lot of single parent troops that get in a bind from similar family situations where they split focus and end up doing poorly. Then again, there are single parents that are rock solid performers and make candle burning at 3 ends look like child’s play. Good luck no matter the choice.
Just make it an informed decision - for all of us; remember we’ll be your coworkers.
If the whole family is incapable of caring for themselves, then you could have them all made your dependents and they could live with you in base housing. You'd also get w/ dep rates for pay and they would all get your healthcare etc.
If it's simply that you are concerned about your family - well welcome to the club. We all care about our mom and dad and our grandparents. If their well-being is the hinge upon which your career decisions lay - you may want to consider something less demanding than the United States Military. We are in 3 wars, so depending on your specialty, you may very well be gone much of the time.
With that said, there are as many reasons that people join the mil as there are people serving. Join for whatever reasons you have, just please be prepared to give 100%. There are a lot of single parent troops that get in a bind from similar family situations where they split focus and end up doing poorly. Then again, there are single parents that are rock solid performers and make candle burning at 3 ends look like child's play. Good luck no matter the choice.
Just make it an informed decision - for all of us; remember we'll be your coworkers.
I don't plan on making them my MIL "dependents". My grandpa used to be a MIL "dependent" and he was not allowed to work at that time so we terminated his "dependent" status (Grandpa wanted to work that time). To my future co-workers, will you (or can see other junior officers) look down on me if I do have my whole family live with me, in case my dad throws us under bus? I'm young and single with no kids! Re reasons to join the military: For the most part of my life, I've been a military brat and while it was not easy, the military has always been a "home" for me. I cannot really explain it - other than its "home". Joining the military, I feel I would coming back. Perhaps, I should talk to my dad to see if we can get rid of divorce talk nonsense. He is not realizing what he is about to lose. I hope he is just feeling very lonely, not seeing us for awhile, while he is on his unaccompanied tour.
Specializes in ED. ICU, PICU, infection prevention, aeromedical e.
Navy Nurse..
If I were your mom and in her situation, my advice to you would be to follow your dreams. If you want to be in the military and you find it to be your home, then go for it! It is a parent's job to raise the kids and get them out of the house and successfully into the world. It sounds like you are ready to jump out of that nest. Your dad is not divorcing YOU but your mom. Take yourself out of that equation and go live your life. It doesn't sound like your mom expects you to give up your dream to save her house. Don't take on responsibilities that aren't yours.
Good luck with your decision and with your family.
If I were your mom and in her situation, my advice to you would be to follow your dreams. If you want to be in the military and you find it to be your home, then go for it! It is a parent's job to raise the kids and get them out of the house and successfully into the world. It sounds like you are ready to jump out of that nest. Your dad is not divorcing YOU but your mom. Take yourself out of that equation and go live your life. It doesn't sound like your mom expects you to give up your dream to save her house. Don't take on responsibilities that aren't yours.
Good luck with your decision and with your family.
Thank you your your thoughts, I will try to live my life as I am getting older. Its just that when you think you lived in a perfect world and with perfect family, unique and traumatic events like this is just no fun and makes a seemingly easy decision turn into a hard one. I guess, I should find this event in my life as an opportunity to "Rise to the Challenge" and become a better person out of it.
That's definitely a difficult situation. I hope your mother looks at different options as far as her mortgage goes- downsizing even. I give you credit for feeling so strongly about your family.
I know I'm more selfish- I'd join, and then send 'em extra money when I could. She's been a military wife all these years, I'm sure she'll be just fine without you. The hardest part (if you do sign up) is being homesick- especially if your mom is upset over a pending divorce.
Either way, I wish you well. Good luck. :)
I can see myself homesick especially over a pending divorce. But with or without divorce, military families experience homesickness anyway. Thank you for your well wishes.
" I will try to live my life as I am getting older. "
Yes you are... You are 24 years old... Dont you think its time to put your "Big Boy Pants" on make your own way in the world? In my opinon the fact that you even asked about bringing Mom and Grandpa tells me you are not ready.
" I will try to live my life as I am getting older. "
Yes you are... You are 24 years old... Dont you think its time to put your "Big Boy Pants" on make your own way in the world? In my opinon the fact that you even asked about bringing Mom and Grandpa tells me you are not ready.
Let me clarify: I only intend to bring mom and grandpa *if* dad goes through this divorce AND throws them under the bus. For the majority of time I was going through the application process, I never thought of bringing mom and grandpa with me. But then again, I've only heard of the divorce talk recently. This divorce - if it goes through - is something I've never experienced before and bringing grandpa and mom with me is an option I need to consider if Pops decide to throw them and me under the bus. At this time, I'm not even certain if Pops has the b@## to throw them under the bus. But I need to consider ALL options. Thanks for your time.
:crying2:
NavyNurseRN
14 Posts
Trauma,
Any thoughts on my situation? Would you sign the dotted line if you were in my shoes?