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HELP!!! Juggling career and family...will it get better???!

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A little background story...I graduated nursing school back in 08' but didn't go into the field right away. I got married and had my daughter who is now almost 2 1/2. I was a stay at home home for most of those 2 1/2 years.

I recently got hired at a home health agency. I've been there a couple of months and it's my very first nursing job since graduation. Of course it has been rough since it has been a while since i did anyting 'nursing' related. I am having a REALLY hard time juggling both the new job and family. This job does not have set working hours, set schedule, set days off, etc. I think what i absolutely hate about the job is that work does not end once i'm home. I still get home to do nursing notes, finish paperwork, call physicians/pharmacies for orders, take calls from pts, etc. It is taking a lot of time. In a typical day I get home at around 5-6 p.m (depending on traffic, and for those that live in L.A you know traffic gets bad at that time). I eat something real quick and start on the "second" part of my job which is what i mentioned above. I'm usually done by 11pm or midnight.

It is starting to take a toll on my family as you could imagine since i get home to do more work. My husband has been of great help with my daughter but i can tell it's starting to get to him as well. I've been on the verge of quitting so many times, but for some reason (probably the fact that it took almost a yr to find a job) i don't. I miss spending quaility time with my husband and especially my daughter. I miss having days off to take her to the park or just have some mommy-and-daughter time. Everything i do with her seems to be in a rush, play with her for a couple of minutes or sit and watch t.v with her for a bit...but next thing you know i have to go back to finishing up my day's work. Even on days off, i get called to fill in for someone or get calls and texts from those filling in for me or from pts.

I feel like i have nothing left in me. These last couple of months have been filled with tears and stress. Today was especially a rough day for me, i literally cried most of the day...on my way to pt's houses. Just thinking of my daughter and husband at home on a beautiful sunny day, how i wish we could be at the park or the zoo or just at home TOGETHER.

I ask my husband what i should do and he just says he supports me in whatever decision i make. The extra income is very helpful but at the same time i feel like i have lost my main role of mother and wife. I HATE THIS FEELING! :sniff: Am I over-reacting? I am very grateful to have a job in this economy and especially grateful that someone finally gave a new-grad that graduated years ago a chance. But i feel like my tank is on empty.

Thank you for those who took the time to read this...i needed to vent to someone besides my husband. Any advice or similar stories are welcomed!

For those in home health...WILL IT ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS?

Sorry you are having such a hard time! I've never worked home health, but I am a working RN/mom of two sweet kids, so I know the roller coaster of emotions between work and family. My kids are little, too, and so I have made some career decisions based on that and my desire to maximize time with family. I had a few thoughts in reading your post. One is that it takes 6 mos- 1 year to really get your feet under you in a new role. Maybe things will get easier with time. Second thought was...can you stay at this job to gain experience, while also looking around for another job with more predictable hours and better suited to your needs? Maybe a regular schedule would make all the difference. Maybe working in a different setting would be the change you seek (such as a setting where the work stays at work). I guess you have decide if the price is too big to pay for the feelings of "tank on empty." I hope you find some relief soon! It's hard to feel so stressed and spread so thin. Take care!

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 8 years experience.

Can you go part time at your current job? That way you retain some of the benefits of the extra income and experience you are getting but lessen the burden on your family. It is incredibly difficult to balance nursing and family, and ultimately you have to put your family first.

Thank you Purple_Scrubs for the advice and thought. I think my main problem is time management. I am going to change the way I do some things to try and save time. I have a couple of days off, which I'm going to use to recharge my battery. I know it will always be a challenge to balance nursing and family but hope that with TIME it gets a lot easier.

didi768

Specializes in VA, Ortho, Med/Surg. Has 25 years experience.

What is the world do you do in home care that requires you to call docs at home? And for a first job? My curiosity is obscene right now lol.

I did night home health and was so tired all the time. Not working now and still so damn tired. I need either a life or an antidepressant gosh.

The good news was at that night job I was able to cat nap with the sweet little patient. Regret the up and quiting now because now we have no health insurance ugh.

ElizabethScala1, BSN, MSN

Specializes in psychiatry, community health, wellness.

I have to say, if you feeling that much stress and anxiety and saddness about your job... it is not for you. I also struggled to get to work, crying on the way, upset all of the time. I have since left and followed my heart and passion, which I believe everyone should do. Work not because it is "work." Go to your job because you love it, because it fulfills you, because it is your passion. If you are so miserable, then this is not the job for you. I have to say I do not believe in staying something just because of money. I left that job, left the job security/benefits/high paying salary/all the perks... and I have never been happier since. It took courage and guts, it took love and support, but it was so worth it. I hope this helps! Good luck to you!

FlyingScot, RN

Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc. Has 28 years experience.

The good news was at that night job I was able to cat nap with the sweet little patient.

You slept while on duty?!!!! Is that even allowed?

didi768

Specializes in VA, Ortho, Med/Surg. Has 25 years experience.

The mom said to. Cat napping isn't sleeping, to me at least. I was face to face with her laying with her and felt every breath and movement. I could never really SLEEP at any job, too nerve wracking. Now, SOME nurses at my company got fired because they could not wake up at ALL. FIRED!!!

I am going to hang on a little longer becuase i'm wondering if this is the feeling most new mom, new grads with first nursing job feel. What if the next job I feel the same? I talked the my manager and I think I have to work on my time management skills. I know I don't want to do home health for ever but don't want to let this opportunity go to waste (since it took a yr to me to find this job). But I agree with you 100% that you should do something because you LOVE it and not for the money. Like I said I'm new to doing anything nursing related since 2008 and i've only been doing it for 2 months. It's a big adjusment from being a stay-at-home mom for almost 2 1/2 years. Thanks for the advice!

A little background story...I graduated nursing school back in 08' but didn't go into the field right away. I got married and had my daughter who is now almost 2 1/2. I was a stay at home home for most of those 2 1/2 years.

I recently got hired at a home health agency. I've been there a couple of months and it's my very first nursing job since graduation. Of course it has been rough since it has been a while since i did anyting 'nursing' related. I am having a REALLY hard time juggling both the new job and family. This job does not have set working hours, set schedule, set days off, etc. I think what i absolutely hate about the job is that work does not end once i'm home. I still get home to do nursing notes, finish paperwork, call physicians/pharmacies for orders, take calls from pts, etc. It is taking a lot of time. In a typical day I get home at around 5-6 p.m (depending on traffic, and for those that live in L.A you know traffic gets bad at that time). I eat something real quick and start on the "second" part of my job which is what i mentioned above. I'm usually done by 11pm or midnight.

It is starting to take a toll on my family as you could imagine since i get home to do more work. My husband has been of great help with my daughter but i can tell it's starting to get to him as well. I've been on the verge of quitting so many times, but for some reason (probably the fact that it took almost a yr to find a job) i don't. I miss spending quaility time with my husband and especially my daughter. I miss having days off to take her to the park or just have some mommy-and-daughter time. Everything i do with her seems to be in a rush, play with her for a couple of minutes or sit and watch t.v with her for a bit...but next thing you know i have to go back to finishing up my day's work. Even on days off, i get called to fill in for someone or get calls and texts from those filling in for me or from pts.

I feel like i have nothing left in me. These last couple of months have been filled with tears and stress. Today was especially a rough day for me, i literally cried most of the day...on my way to pt's houses. Just thinking of my daughter and husband at home on a beautiful sunny day, how i wish we could be at the park or the zoo or just at home TOGETHER.

I ask my husband what i should do and he just says he supports me in whatever decision i make. The extra income is very helpful but at the same time i feel like i have lost my main role of mother and wife. I HATE THIS FEELING! :sniff: Am I over-reacting? I am very grateful to have a job in this economy and especially grateful that someone finally gave a new-grad that graduated years ago a chance. But i feel like my tank is on empty.

Thank you for those who took the time to read this...i needed to vent to someone besides my husband. Any advice or similar stories are welcomed!

For those in home health...WILL IT ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS?

I can relate to most of your situation. In fact, I was like you graduated in '09 and did not work until three months ago. During those time I stayed home with my son who is now 19 months old. It gets tough but unlike you I work in Rehap/LTC. At first I thought I wanted to work FT and when they put me work FT time then I realized I lost quality time with my kid and husband. I rarely had any time with them. If I did mostly sleeping. Now I only work 3 days a week. This helps tremendously. I feel I can always work FT when my son started school. But I would suggest sticking out longer, manage your time better. We are new nurses thus time management is our main culprit, I believe. I am also learning this as well at work juggling everything to ensure I get off, not time, but an hour after the least. That would make me happy.

I've worked home health a few times...thinking it would be different the next time around..it wasn't..it was as you said - working all day then going home to do more...from what I understand the demands are even more now. I think home health is like dialysis in the sense nurses seem to either love it or hate it..for me, I would not work it again - at least not an "in the field" position. Not worth the time or the wear/tear on my car to me.

Oh man! Well i'm hanging in there trying to get as much experience possible. I don't see myself in this field for too long.