Help me, Allnurses, I make bad choices when I'm anxious!

Nurses General Nursing

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Nothing too outlandish, just tryna choose the right next job for me. I'm so desperate to get out of my current job (med-psych night shifts), have been for a while, and I don't want that desperation to cloud my judgment.

Job A: An old friend is this position's supervisor, and she invited me to apply when I said I was looking for work. I interviewed and got a great vibe from the team, and received an offer today. It's a pay cut, as everything will be after five years of night shift differential, and the tuition assistance policy was a bit underwhelming (I just started working on my MSN). Otherwise the salary and other benefits were pretty good. It's an hour commute from my home, which will be a significant adjustment for me (I'm super spoiled right now), and the hours are crazy early. While the actual job sounds fascinating and would be a welcome change from what I've been doing, I know it's not where my heart is long-term.

Job B: I have an interview scheduled for next Friday, so no offer yet. I feel that I am a strong candidate, but obviously that's no guarantee. This pays a few thousand less per year than Job A and has no tuition assistance as far as I know, so paying for school will be even more challenging, though by no means impossible. The commute is a little more friendly, like 40 minutes, and the hours are more reasonable for a night owl making the switch back to days. It is also more relevant to the degree I'm pursuing, and will give me more direct experience toward my career interests (although I don't think Job A would hurt anything).

TL;DR - Basically, I like a lot of the things about Job A, for which an old friend would be my supervisor; the salary and benefits are good; and I have an offer. It's not directly relevant to my degree and not something I see myself doing for more than a few years. Job B has a slightly lower salary, and while I feel confident about my candidacy, I have an interview scheduled but no offer right now. This job is more along the lines of my interests and eventual goals, and the commute and hours would work better for me. Do I decline the position working with my friend (how bad of a move is that? It's bad, right?) in favor of interviewing for something that might not work out, leaving me in this job that has become toxic to my mental and physical health?

Specializes in PICU.
5 hours ago, NightNerd said:

Coming soon, a thread we've seen a million times, but inverted: How do I make the jump from nights back to days without losing what's left of my sanity? I figure lots of melatonin, maybe another sleep aide every now and again, and the understanding that I'm gonna be exhausted and cranky for a little while.

Yeah... Job A sounds a like it could be a nice change for a few years. Maybe move a little closer so 1 hour is now 30 minutes?! hopefully?!

I made the shift from nights to days a few years ago, and my body loves it so much more as does my hubby. Who initially loved that I worked nights, now I wouldn;t consider it unless I needed to.

Give your self a few weeks to get adjusted. Even make yourself in bed by a certain time, lights off, no technology, dark room.

Best of luck to you on your next phase of nursing!!!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
18 hours ago, Pixie.RN said:

What about option C - stay where you are with higher pay and better tuition reimbursement? Just throwing that out there!

13 hours ago, NightNerd said:

Call it burnout or compassion fatigue or whatever, but I've been noticing myself being much more short-tempered and reactive with my patients. This, combined with various organizational factors and how this job affects my mood on days off, is weighing heavily enough on me that I think it's time to move on.

Hey, NightNerd, I'm going to follow up Pixie's option C and your reply with the point of view of an old nurse who regularly refers to himself as being burned out, okay?

Changing jobs doesn't always take care of situations where we really need to change our perspective and learn, establish, and institutionalize coping mechanisms. We can change jobs, have the same stress or different stress, but we still are the same person.

For whatever it's worth.

Best of luck to you in whatever decision you make, NightNerd!

P.S: I'll miss you on the MN forums.

Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.
53 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

Hey, NightNerd, I'm going to follow up Pixie's option C and your reply with the point of view of an old nurse who regularly refers to himself as being burned out, okay?

Changing jobs doesn't always take care of situations where we really need to change our perspective and learn, establish, and institutionalize coping mechanisms. We can change jobs, have the same stress or different stress, but we still are the same person.

For whatever it's worth.

Best of luck to you in whatever decision you make, NightNerd!

P.S: I'll miss you on the MN forums.

Ahhhhhh! Davey, I was hoping you'd chime in, and then you went and dropped this curveball (right as I'm drafting my resignation, no less)!

I am confident that moving on is the right thing for me; there are too things at this job I can't fix, even though I've developed quite the orificenal of coping skills here and am a stronger, better nurse for it. Duly noted, though; I am a little ball of anxiety and will be no matter where I go, so best not to expect the grass to be greener.

On 6/2/2019 at 12:50 PM, NightNerd said:

I LOLed. ? That would certainly be the most financially friendly option, but I sort of hate who I'm becoming at this job. Call it burnout or compassion fatigue or whatever, but I've been noticing myself being much more short-tempered and reactive with my patients. This, combined with various organizational factors and how this job affects my mood on days off, is weighing heavily enough on me that I think it's time to move on. It's not that I don't want to take care of people, even from more challenging patient populations; I just don't feel supported where I am. It's not safe, my team is slowly disintegrating, and I'm no longer the nurse I want to be because of it. I just need a few years to quiet my mind, finish my degree, and be a little selfish before I go back to something that will require that much mental and emotional stamina.

Find a way to relieve the stress. A lot of the same things can happen at the next job. You will have to start over with everything, loose pay and deal with who knows what. Sometimes it is a matter of changing the way you deal with things so that no matter where you are you can cope. If the place you are at is doable, just stay there.

I also find that I have trouble making decisions when I am overly anxious. My current nursing position is extremely stressful and I don't get along with my manager. In fact, we got into a "heated" discussion the other day and I really thought I was going to be fired. It was totally about patient safety though and I am sure I was in the right. I plan to leave this position and actually wrote an HR manager I interviewed with but did not have a job offer explaining that I was willing to take a position if she offered one and would be very flexible in my schedule to accommodate the needs of the facility. (Not sure if this is a great idea but need to know where I stand). This position would be a lot less stressful than my current one. I hope you get the position you apply for and that it is a much better fit for you. Nursing is so stressful and as caregivers we need to take care of ourselves and do what is in our best interest for our health, families and general over-all well being.

I wish you the best of luck! Thank you for allowing me to vent.

Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.
1 hour ago, benharold1 said:

I also find that I have trouble making decisions when I am overly anxious. My current nursing position is extremely stressful and I don't get along with my manager. In fact, we got into a "heated" discussion the other day and I really thought I was going to be fired. It was totally about patient safety though and I am sure I was in the right. I plan to leave this position and actually wrote an HR manager I interviewed with but did not have a job offer explaining that I was willing to take a position if she offered one and would be very flexible in my schedule to accommodate the needs of the facility. (Not sure if this is a great idea but need to know where I stand). This position would be a lot less stressful than my current one. I hope you get the position you apply for and that it is a much better fit for you. Nursing is so stressful and as caregivers we need to take care of ourselves and do what is in our best interest for our health, families and general over-all well being.

I wish you the best of luck! Thank you for allowing me to vent.

It is definitely very stressful to feel like your concerns about patient safety aren't being taken seriously! I'm sorry you are experiencing so much stress at work and hope you find something that brings you a little more peace of mind. I completely hear what other posters are saying in that stress is everywhere and we need to be able to cope for our own sake; but I think it's equally important to recognize when you're doing all you can and not getting any benefit from it. There is also no shame in realizing that a job no longer fits your goals, needs, values, or personality, which is where I am at this point.

NightNerd,

You have read my post which is a stay or go post- just a little different than yours but ofc I am also considering a job change.

2 years ago I was working 12hr shifts with a 2-4 minute commute. I shifted into M-F work with an hour commute on either side. I realized that my hours spent on the job now consisted of 8.5 hours at my worksite + 2 hours commute = 100 hours every two weeks or so devoted to this job instead of the 5, 12hr shifts in two weeks I worked at my previous job = 84 hours in 2 weeks. When I sat down and looked at these numbers, I realized why I am always feeling like I have less time on my hands before. I say that just to let you know, you may be less thrilled with 'normal' shift work in the daylight. >.< My commute is usually happy with some audio books though and I don't hate it truthfully. I just miss 3 and 4 day weekends :D

I left my night shift job because of burn out too. I knew I couldn't give the patients what they deserved and I had to draw the line. Best wishes finding the best stepping stone to move on to! Its a bit nerve-wracking!!

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