Having issues with death anxiety

Ella26, BSN, RN · May 22, 2013

I was an LPN for 3.5 years and now an RN for 3 months. I have cared for dying patients during clinical (had to do comfort care) however, none have actually died while I was caring for them. But I have anxiety as well about dying patients so I do not think I can work at a hospital, long term care, or hospice for that reason. I work at a clinic and the chances are low for someone to die at the clinic, but it can still happen.

loriangel14, RN · May 22, 2013

You may be able to find a job where the possibility of dealing with death is minimal (e.g. doctor's office) but you will likely have to deal with it at some point during school. I had to do post mortem care and was present at a death as a student.I was worried about it before hand too but it didn't end up being that bad.

amberdawn85 · May 22, 2013

Thank you.

I think emotionally I can recover from a couple but long term I won't be able to deal with it on a regular basis. Are clinic and office jobs harder to obtain then hospital jobs?

LoveMyBoxer99 · May 22, 2013

Dealing with an impending death does not have to be a source of anxiety. It is natural to not want to experience the situation but try to think of it differently. When I am caring for a dying patient, it is a moment of great honor for me. I get to do one last important thing of making them comfortable as possible or holding their hand. I get to pray with them and their loved ones, providing strength and guidance to their loved ones as well. This is only a few points I consider a great honor for my patient in their final moments of need.

Of course the exception is when you are "coding" someone that is unexpected at the moment. That too can be scary, but if the good Lord is calling them home then whatever I do in that moment is besides the fact to begin with.

I think it's normal in the beginning to have a lot of anxiety over this. You are not alone. Just remember what an honor end of life care can be and you will make it through. Blessings to you.

amberdawn85 · May 22, 2013

This is my husbands view as well. He is an officer and he has been around several deaths. I just get lost in my thoughts and begin thinking of my death and it being me, my family, my children and so on...

loriangel14, RN · May 22, 2013

I actually enjoy palliative care. I enjoy making the final transition as comfortable as possible. Being there at the end can be a beautiful thing.I have found the more I experience it the easier it gets.

Shorty11, BSN, RN · May 22, 2013

I am a BSN student (just finished my 3rd of 5 semesters). I, too, have anxiety about death. In my Intro to Nursing course last year, our professor "introduced" us to the topic of post-mortem care. She told us that the first patient that we take care of that dies (particularly during our own shift), we will never forget. She talked about what an honor and privilege it is to provide post-mortem care to a patient. Her story made me tear-up. It made me realize what an honor it will be the first and every time that I provide post-mortem care for a patient. I have yet to have a patient die while under my care at clinicals, but one day a patient did code and expire several rooms down from my patient. It was hard to see the family so upset, but I also witnessed some excellent nurses providing post-mortem care and doing their best to help the family until pastoral services arrived. It was very sad, but also a moment in which I was able to see how much of a different great nurses can make during tragic circumstances. Death is a natural part of life. Albeit, one of the hardest parts of life to deal with. As future nurses, we will witness life and death. I think it is how we deal with each and every circumstance that will make the difference. I think that my anxiety with decrease with time and experience, and hopefully yours will as well. It is important to keep your personal and work life separate though. Dwelling on a patient's death can seriously affect you, and I would work on (as cruel as it my sound when it pertains to a persons death), leaving "work at work". Best of luck in your future!

amberella123 · May 23, 2013

I didn't know nurses had to do post mortem care. I'm a Cna and everywhere I've worked, the Cna does it. The nurse only comes in and calls time of death. As a nurse, what post mortem things do you all do? And as for death anxiety...if you want to be a nurse you just have to face it. One second at a time. I'm only a Cna but I've done post mortem care about 4 or 5 times now. It's not easy. But you get through it. Each time it gets a little easier to handle. (I work at a nursing home if that makes a diff)

Career2_BSN, BSN · May 23, 2013

I have yet to experience death from a Nurse's role, however, I've had many personal experiences with deaths and 2 years ago work seemed to almost have a funeral epidemic. Over a dozen of us lost a close family member or friend in the first 3 months of the year so we all attended several funerals in support of our colleagues. I went from someone who HATED funerals and avoided them at all cost to almost taking them in stride as just another fact of life. It was kind of a trial-by-fire, rip off the bandaid, scenario. NOT one I would have signed up for, but I don't regret the knowledge I gleamed from the experiences. The experiences also strengthened my faith and I attribute much of my peace on the subject to that faith.

For me, losing elderly is natural and not nearly as gut-wrenching as losing someone who is young. Several of the funerals from a couple years ago were elderly. At least the elderly have had a chance to live their lives. Losing the middle-aged (30s and 40s in my case) was harder. One died of cancer, tho, and death was a relief because it ended her pain and suffering. The other 2 died as consequences of their actions so I experienced the sadness along with anger and blame. It seemed so wrong for them to die so young and their deaths were harder to accept. The hardest, by far, are the kids. One was the 11 year old nephew of a co-worker who had struggled with Leukemia off and on for 3 years. That one tore all of us up. My oldest son is 14 and has lost 2 peers. One fell off his skateboard and right in front of a car when on Spring Break in the 4th grade and the other committed suicide one Monday morning in 8th grade. I cried the hardest for the kids and their parents.

Experiencing these deaths gave me several opportunities to go through the grieving process and come out the other side. Having felt those feelings myself, I believe I will be more empathetic with family members as they go through this. I get attached to people quite easily and I am a total crybaby so I have no doubt I will shed plenty of tears in the future as I lose patients but I no longer feel the anxiety around death that you feel today. I believe, with time and expierience, you will overcome your anxiety as well.

lovinlife11 · May 23, 2013

I felt the same way prior to going into nursing. I went on to become a hospice nurse and while I still tear up at times when someone passes (I'm still human) it has become quite an honor and privilege to share the moments with a patient and their family. It gets easier OP, don't let that be the reason not to go into nursing.

amberdawn85 · May 25, 2013

Thank you everyone for the personal stories and coping methods. I am just so afraid of "facing" it and becoming worse rather than it getting better. I have 3 children and the idea of being around a child who has passed is equivalent to a someone punching me in the stomach.