Has a pt given you a chuckle lately?

pickledpepperRN · Mar 8, 2003

Patient after rounds in a teaching hospital. "First they talked about my electric lights. Now they want my electric feces."

Translation: electrolytes & electrophoresis

tattooednursie, LVN · Mar 8, 2003

I have got a few examples.

One night this resident was going psycho on me and kept shouting my name. I had it with her. I went into the room next door and the resident in the next room was like "You are a real sweety, but I am sick of hearing your name."

Another time I was feeding a resident in her bedroom. I was the only one on the hall at that time so I had to answer call lights too. Everytime I heard that dingy noise the call lights make, I got up to answer it. The resident got mad at me after like the 5th time, and said, "You should go home, you must have dysentary or something."

I also get a bang out of the residents who talk like truck drivers. Every other word is DAMNIT or oh Sh*t.

AlaskanRN · Mar 8, 2003

Another nurse and myself were cleaning a lac on the back of an elderly pt's head in the ER. She was muttering..."This is not adding...this is not adding..."

When we began to irrigate it, the pt stated very loudly..."This is not adding to my pleasure!"

She was quite elderly and minimally verbal. Good thing we were behind her...we nearly wet ourselves.

jenac · Mar 8, 2003

We have one guy who is quite a prankster-and generally gets a good laugh on one of us each day. When I first started on the floor, right out of school, I was amazed a the sheer volume of pills these geriatrics residents take. I knew some of them- but had to look up alot during my first few days, so my drug book was in hand frequently. One morning, this guy hands me a little light greenish pill and asks me what this one is for. Having only given him a Vit E- I was frantic to figure out where it came from. I searched that book virtually page by page for any clues, racking my brain to think of anything I'd seem that was even romatley similar. Turns out- it was a tic-tac, and this guy laughed for probably a good ten minutes and for days later!!!!

Scavenger'sWife, RN · Mar 8, 2003

I admitted a lady in her 80's last week. In going over her admission health profile I was asking her questions to clarify the boxes she had checked as having that particular health problem.

I got to the box where she had checked "Emotional Problems" and asked her to clarify what she had wrong.

She just sighed and shrugged her shoulders, "I have had seven children. If that wasn't enough to make me nuts, I don't know what is."

:)

Scavenger'sWife, RN · Mar 8, 2003

I once was going over the check list pre-heart cath with a very nice man in his 50's. Very traditional-looking, kinda like he might be a banker or something.

I usually joke around a little with the cath patients, because I know they are nervous about it. I got to the question that asks if the patient is wearing make-up or nail polish. So to be funny, I asked him if he was. He answered, "Well, not right now."

(quiet moment!)

He started laughing and told me he is a professional clown!

:chuckle

pickledpepperRN · Mar 8, 2003

At the VA a WWII vet was asked by the clinic nurse how his new hearing aid was working out.

He heard the question! and answered, "This hearing aid improved my sex life, Yup, now I can hear my wife call my name."

They have been married 60 years! He was so full of fun I believed him when I saw her blush.

oldgirl, RN · Mar 8, 2003

80 year old Altziemer's lady. retired RN. She could undo any restraint, take apart any IV, hide pills-and proudly tell you, "I'm a nurse and I know all about this stuff." She was made us laugh and scared us a few times too!

nakitamoon · Mar 9, 2003

As D.O.N. of an assisted living facility,,,, my residents usually give me a good laugh daily,,,,, but the one incident that stands out,,,, and continues to make me laugh,,,,,,,

A female resident,,,, comes to the nurses station,,, obvisously distressed,,,,, this resident,,, had some confusion,,, was a small woman,,,, with an extended abdomen,,,, Just the way her body shape formed as she aged,,,, She asked for me,,,, I went to her,,, she told me she needed to tell me something,,, Please not to think bad of her,,,, but she met the new man,,,, who was just admitted,,,,, She said,, they got along well at dinner,,,, went to her room afterwards to talk,,,,, "Well honey,,,, one thing led to another,,,,, and well,,,, well,,,,, I am pregnant! & I have no idea what I will do,,,, " Holding and rubbing her stomach,,, as she spoke,,,,,

After several seconds,,, (seemed like minutes) trying to compose myself,,,, I wanted to laugh so hard,, I had tears,,,, but I didnt' want to give the impression to my resident I wasn't taking her concerns seriously,,,,, I told her,,, as I hugged her,,,, we would take care of her,,,,, and her baby,,, She wouldn't have to worry about it,,,,, She was so relieved,,,, Kept repeating that they just got "carried away",,,,,

Oh,,,, btw,,,,, there was no new "male admitt",,,,,

~kitamoon

Jay-Jay, RN · Mar 10, 2003

This happened while I was doing PSW work, while doing my RN part-time. I was pulling private duty with an eldery gent, and I noticed he got extremely SOB just cutting a piece of watermelon. I tried to take his pulse, and it was so irregular and rapid that I couldn't get a reliable count. His heart sounded like a broken down old washing machine, and his lungs were wet. I called his GP, and his homecare nurse. The nurse was able to make an emergency visit. By this time, I'd gotten him into the bedroom, and ordered him to lie down. He had a huge king-sized bed. The VN said to him, "I hope you don't mind if I have to get right up on the bed beside you to take your BP, Mr. P!"

"That's the best offer I've had all day!" responded my patient.

At that point, I decided he really wasn't as sick as I'd thought!

RNonsense · Mar 10, 2003

On neurosurgery during a night shift...I admitted a young guy who was shot in the head accidently with a nail gun. I prepped him for the OR, and off he went.

He returned a few hours later, post crani, minus nail sticking out of his head. I admitted him back, asked him how he was doing...and he smiled and said "fine..but now I don't have a place to hang my keys!"

Almost PML I did :)