Has Nursing hardened you?

Nurses General Nursing

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Simple question: Has nursing hardened you?

I'm currently a student, and I have noticed that some of the older clinical instructors are very cold, harsh and indecent towards some of the nursing students, myself included. I know some PCAs. One certain PCA, a 31 year old nursing student w/military experience, referred to some of the nurses on her unit as " cold *******" and said she was afraid after many years of working in the field (after graduating and passing the NCLEX, of course), she will end up just like them. Many of the other nursing students have voiced similar experiences, saying that many of the nurses on their unit were just rude or plain cold.

This is NOT to attack nurses, but after I had a dentist appointment, I noticed a stark contrast between the happier, less stressed out RDHs from the overly stressed and very cold nurses that I have come across. This is NOT to say that all nurses are like this, I have met some really nice ones (and a couple of really lovely clinical instructors), but in general, the longer one has been in the field of nursing ,the colder and less compassionate one becomes...from my observation. Statistically, 1 out of every 7 nurses will end up with a drug/substance problem (according to my lecture notes)...could it be d/t the stress of nursing?

So, I was wondering, to all the nurses out there who have been in the field for a long time, how has nursing changed you as an individual? Have you found yourself becoming colder and more detached or more warm and compassionate? Has nursing made you depressed? And finally (and most importantly) do you regret nursing?

I have found that I have lost apart of my confidence and self-esteem, and nursing seems to have an ugly side to it that really is disappointing. Quoting someone I love, "Upon visiting your nursing school, I have never met a more hostile, unwelcoming, cold environment and I can only imagine what you go through when I'm not around." And this person is fifty.

Again, this is NOT an attack, but just an observation and things I've experienced first hand and have been told, and I'm wondering about this!

List for for ease of writing from iPad

1) GrnTea is "popular" based on her merits, not because she has the prettiest curls.

2) A mildly (not 'very', as you described) condescending "dear" and a few metaphorical "rainbows and violets" which other posters have liberally referred to is hardly something worth fussing over. It makes it sound like you're more eager to roll your eyes than to actually take something away from this conversation you started.

3) As others have said- your original post has some accusations which this group can be very sensitive about. You don't have to search far in this forum to identify the stance most have taken and to notice that it's a sore topic. Please excuse our defensiveness.

4) Similar to someone's point about lawyers, I was thinking...I doubt our schools and profession is any more callous or 'unwelcoming' than the next. Business school, fashion school, chefs, advertising agencies, car mechanics, you name it! I'm pretty sure your family member wouldn't feel that you were in summer camp in any of these environments. Maybe there is some truth to the "hardened" nurses stereotype but I don't think the school environment is a product of that. If anything, school is there to promote a serious attitude about a profession that suffers from public misperception.

5) Now that I've written my last statement I think I have an answer to your question. Maybe nurses havent hardened but instead have "unsoftened" the stereotype that we are all pink bunnies.

There are a lot of reasons for that shift which could be misconstrued as being "mean" but more than likely has something to do with: limited time, limited resources, limited support, limited protection....(see other threads) etc etc etc

Specializes in retired LTC.

WOW!!! My clicking finger for the LIKE box is geting cramped (and I've only read 19 responses so far before I must respond to this throbbing nerve that's been hit like a toothache). Like all my experienced colleagues out there, my sentiments mirror yours. We deal with people who NEED...translate are NEEDY. I'm approaching more years of experience than the poster is probably old. Years of NEEDY folk needing something. In our professional and personal experiences, we all recognize OUR need to limit and protect ourselves from the endless want. GOOD FOR US!!!

Specializes in Oncology.

Wow!! We got some fired up folk up in here! I'm a newbie only been a nurse a year. Here's what I think, SOME nurses are hard and cold. I don't read this thread thinking it was meant to state that nurses suck and were all on drugs, sounds like more about personality than anything else. I've been in healthcare for almost nine years and what I've noticed is that some nurses are just not very tactful and may come off rude. After u know a person long enough you may understand its just them and they don't mean to be that way or unaware that is how they r being perceived. And some are downright evil. So far I have not as far I m aware, have let my stress and or anger cause me to take it out on anyone. I treat everyone with respect and am kind. I do see how that may be lacking especially with students because they can be in the way. It's not right and it's not fair but it's life. I always dreamed of becoming a nurse and now that I am, I'm not all that extremely happy, if anything I've become more sad and fearful due to the stress of work. That's what's killing me inside, not so much the stank attitudes. Just be prepared to live life with a constant dark cloud over your head that tells you if you screw up, you may lose everything and cause your patients to lose as well. That thought haunts me daily and when the system has flaws, and your overworked, tired, sore, and burdened. Accidents can happen and the finger will be pointed at you. You must watch your back, the docs, pharm, and cna's because their mistake becomes your mistake and your the one who ends up on court. In short, screw the mean nurses, don't pay them no mind, you got bigger issues to deal with that should keep u busy, like giving SAFE quality care and keeping yourself in check to not cut corners and get relaxed in your work. Nursing is stressful!!! My plan is to save my drug addiction problem for when I'm around 80 that way I can be a old wrinkled up lady high as the sky and hopefully od so I don't have to go to a nursing home. (my sick humor)

Specializes in Adult/Ped Emergency and Trauma.

I was hardened very stone-like at one time, but then I came to Allnurses.com, saw Meriwhen's avatar of the Lamb, and I can almost stomach kittens and flowers now. That lamb just makes me all fuzzy, and a smile blooms across my face whether I "feel" like it or not.

Meriwhen, If you change the PsychSheep, I am going to relapse!!!

:redbeatheBoston

1 out of the 7 (But well into Recovery:saint:)

The 1 in 7 is going to make me spend each shift trying to figure out who's an addict. (Or did the number include psych disorders too, in which case, the bunch of us on anti-depressants would take care of a few hospitals worth.)

I have been a nurse for 7 years, since I was 21. I wouldn't say it has hardened me, but has taught me when to be compassionate, and when to get my job done and go home. You said that the nurses on your clinical floor were hard/cold- maybe they are fed up with students? Students/training brand new people can be very draining. Maybe they don't realize how they are coming off, I noticed the same thing in my rotations, but not every place/nurse is like this.

For me personally, I just take care of my patients. I am professional with my co-workers, but if they are mean and cantakerous, well, good for them. I will ask a question if I need to, and if they get annoyed, so be it. Most will help out, even if it is done begrudginly.

I have always loved nursing, and 7 years later I feel no differently about my job. I hate management, and I HATE obamacare, but I like seeing a vented, incontinent, unable to walk, or eat without a gtube patient get out of their bed, breathing on their own, eating and drinking and walking away to go home. It is awesome.

My advice to you- get through with nursing school, DO NOT apply for a job where you do your clinical ;), and find the path of nursing that best suits you. Learn to let things and people roll of your shoulders, make sure your back bone is nice and strong because you always need that, and find the avenue of nursing that doesn't make you want to kill fellow humans. :cool:

Also, I notice that people think younger students are texting frequently when they are using their cell phones to look information up. I am orienting a new grad to my floor and she is always on the phone. I asked her if she was concentrating on our assignment and she was using apps looking up drugs, lab values, she had all of her nursing books on her cell phone.

It is a change in culture and this is how the younger generations learn. I don't think it would be appropriate to tell them to put their phones down if they are using the phone for educational purposes.

I'm good with that.. I have apps on my phone relevant to drug interactions, labs, etc. I also think many of them need to be advised how much can be learned from spending some quality time looking at their patients, maybe in the eye, while they're talking to them, rather than looking at the phone. Get the relevant info and put the phone down.

When I'll be a nursing instructor (in an alternate universe....shh no jokes about the afterlife) I will still make my students write med cards...and not out of an obstinate attachment to "old ways" but because there is an educational benefit to w-r-i-t-i-n-g it out.

ThePrincessBride:

Did you work as an Aide before you started nursing school? Have you been around a lot of nurses other than your teachers and clinical setting?

I've worked in healthcare and only healthcare since I was 16. I've been a RN for 6 years, and I've never found that trend to be the case. I've worked with young nurses that are 'cold' and I've worked with older nurses that are the most caring people I've ever met. And vice versa. But it's because of those older nurses with the experience that I finally went for my RN. I've worked places as a nurse and an aide that I'm sure they thought I was evil. I don't like hospitals. I'm good at the skills and suck at the politics. I love long term care, though. I like walking in and seeing the same people every day and knowing they know who I am and building those bonds. I think nursing has made me more compassionate. It's also made me more efficient, more vocal and much more able to stand up and advocate for my patients, which depending on what side of the fence you're on is going to get you looked at like you're the wicked witch.

As for the addiction statistic If that's roughly the average anyway, why wouldn't nurses be affected? Although, I admit... I know more than 7 nurses and while we all have the occassional beer, I've never caught anyone popping illegal pills, smoking weed, or snorting anything (contrary to the popular tv show).

Specializes in Adult/Ped Emergency and Trauma.

Lol, recommend Chicken Soup for the Nurse's Soul.

But first, read some Echo Heron.

Then have the soup. ahhhhh Balance.:jester:

Specializes in Rehab, critical care.

I haven't been a nurse that long, but yes, nursing has hardened me. Nursing has not hardened me in the way you mention, becoming cold and bitter (I am nice to everyone, very helpful, etc), but I am a much stronger, more confident person because of this career (and because of where I worked prior to nursing, very tough field, as well). Nursing requires long hours, stressful work, weird hours, and because I work in ICU, I see many things almost daily or weekly that many non healthcare people may only experience once or twice in their lifetime.

I do not feel stressed on a daily basis, however, because I have a good perspective, and a good team. I also realize that I am only one person, and can only do so much, so I go in there and do my best. I understand that documentation is necessary, but it would be nice if there wasn't so much of it, but I also understand that's just the way it is in healthcare today, and litigation in our society. I can see why a more bitter attitude for some nurses would happen over the course of a 30 year career at the bedside, many hours missed with family, etc, but the experienced nurses I work with are wonderful.

Specializes in med-tele/ER.
When I'll be a nursing instructor (in an alternate universe....shh no jokes about the afterlife) I will still make my students write med cards...and not out of an obstinate attachment to "old ways" but because there is an educational benefit to w-r-i-t-i-n-g it out.

You may find it beneficial to write things out but not everyone learns the same way as you. And I hope if you become an instructor you will not make people do things that will not help in their education/learning method, it would just be a huge waste of their time. I have been a clinical instructor in the past and I have adapted to the needs of the individual student in clinical.

When I started nursing in the early 1970's most people had small med passes. Now it seems a lot of my patient's take so many medications and I can understand why nurses spend so much time looking up all the information.

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