Has anyone noticed a change in treatment from patients/families

Katnip, RN · Oct 3, 2003

I think a lot of this comes from an erosion of common courtesy in society in general. It's everywhere. I once saw a customer in a very nice upscale store screaming at the poor salesclerk who was doing her best to make the woman happy.

There are articles in magazines about how to pitch a fit at airport check in counters in order to get seat upgrades. Basically a primer on rudeness.

Of course television shows like ER show rude behavior toward hospital staff as though it's the norm and expected.

People everywhere have just lost the concept of simple respect toward others. It's a shame, really. It's just as easy and effective to be polite, and is much less stressful all the way around.

Brownms46 · Oct 4, 2003

I agree with cyberkat. I believe it has a lot to do with the world we live iin now. More and more people are grumpy, and ill tempered, than I have seen in the past.

But I also remember, except for those bad nites, when everything seem to happen at once, you had time to go around, and give a back rub, or PM care. Today you just don't have the time to give the care we used to.

I work in a free standing, GI procedure center per diem, and I find people are much more friendier, and give out a lot more compliments, that when I work the floors. I even had a pt. bring me flowers. Or make sure that they tell the nurse who d/c'd them to tell me "thank you", for my help.

We usually have enough staff, that we can give the pt. one on one care, when they get admitted. And there is even time to go over and help a pt. calm down, and feel more at ease, as they wait to go into the procedure room. I have had a pt. bring in Krispy Keme doughnuts from across town, after having had a procedure done, just to say thank you.

But many of these people aren't ill, and there are plenty of people around to see their behaviors. So maybe it's a cross between the world changing, and people being more rude, or just the fact, that they know it's their word against ours in the hospitals.

The fact that hospitals promise people the moon, and then only have 3 nurses to 30 pts., and the fact that people are much sicker in hospitals now, doesn't help either. I don't really know what it is, but I have noticed a big difference, and I for one, don't enjoy working in the hospitals anymore:o

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 4, 2003

I agree -- people are just plain ruder lately. "Please and thank you" have gone by the wayside, and folks seem to behave as if the more obnoxious they are the more attention they'll get. They may be right. All the articles in the popular press warning the public "Don't leave your loved one alone in the hospital -- the staff will make fatal errors!!!!" haven't helped at all. And the public is far more suit-happy than they used to be.

I've noticed more family members sitting at the bedside, taking notes. They write down the nurse's name, every thing you say and do, what drugs you give, etc. I asked a family member one time what the purpose was -- they quite bluntly told me that it was for the law suit they were going to file if "someone's dumb mistake kills Mom."

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Oct 4, 2003

Common courtesy erosion definately.

A lot of mistrust (open up the paper on a daily basis, something very negative about someone in healthcare, majority of the time righteously so). A lot of worry on the patient's mind that comes out as rudeness, and i'd bet that they don't mean anything personal by it. A lot of ppl's stress, concern, worry, etc comes across as rude. I just remind myself "this must be hard for them/pt., how would i feel if that were my husband/child/dad here and so sick?" and do the best i can do.

(TV show that didn't help: "Scrubs". I have been asked 3 times in the past month if that show is the way our facility is. GRRRRRR )

Had a pt. ask me how i "thought of everything" as an aide, after i changed out the water pitcher, got a warm blanket after asking if she was cold, changing her gown she'd had on all day, changed the pillowcase that felt a little damp from sweat, retaping the IV tubing onto her arm so that it wasn't hanging in the way of her hands all the time, asking her to rate her pain, and reading aloud the results of her vital sign, etc.

I told her that i thought of how i want things to be as a patient. I want to know that someone cares if i'm comfortable or in pain, and notices the little things. And i've noticed that does make a difference in ppl's attitudes. I'm glad we're not short-staffed, this affords me the time to do things like this, and i hope to continue this routine as a nurse.

Brownms46 · Oct 4, 2003

Originally posted by Ruby Vee
I agree -- people are just plain ruder lately. "Please and thank you" have gone by the wayside, and folks seem to behave as if the more obnoxious they are the more attention they'll get. They may be right. All the articles in the popular press warning the public "Don't leave your loved one alone in the hospital -- the staff will make fatal errors!!!!" haven't helped at all. And the public is far more suit-happy than they used to be.

I've noticed more family members sitting at the bedside, taking notes. They write down the nurse's name, every thing you say and do, what drugs you give, etc. I asked a family member one time what the purpose was -- they quite bluntly told me that it was for the law suit they were going to file if "someone's dumb mistake kills Mom."

WOW ...what did you say to that???

palesarah · Oct 4, 2003

Originally posted by cyberkat
I think a lot of this comes from an erosion of common courtesy in society in general. It's everywhere. I once saw a customer in a very nice upscale store screaming at the poor salesclerk who was doing her best to make the woman happy.

There are articles in magazines about how to pitch a fit at airport check in counters in order to get seat upgrades. Basically a primer on rudeness.

I couldn't agree more with what you all are saying. i think cyberkat nailed it- everywhere in the popular media, are messages telling people how to DEMAND their wants, warnings that healthcare providers are fatal accidents waiting to happen, etc.

When I first started at my hospital, the first thing I and the other new grad nurses who had not previously worked there noticed was how friendly everyone was. We joked that it seemed like all the hospital staff had been sent to etiquette classes.

The new grads who were already hospital employees told us, well actually- they do!

It's amazing to see how patients and families respond to an environment of politeness. Not just on my floor (let's face it, maternity is usually a happy place!) but throughout the hospital.

Too bad the media can't spend a little less time teaching people how to be rude and a little more time teaching people common courtesy!

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Oct 4, 2003

Originally posted by Ruby Vee
I've noticed more family members sitting at the bedside, taking notes. They write down the nurse's name, every thing you say and do, what drugs you give, etc. I asked a family member one time what the purpose was -- they quite bluntly told me that it was for the law suit they were going to file if "someone's dumb mistake kills Mom."

Oh i bet MOM felt WONDERFUL after hearing THAT....

Sersey · Oct 4, 2003

I know where your coming from. I work in LTC, and it seems like the family members run the show. They tell us what meds we can and can't give, get mom/dad up immediatley, I don't care if you're passing out food trays, mom did'nt get her tray, why is dad still in the bed, and the list goes on. I had a resident just the other day who wanted to go to bed, I explained to her that as soon as we were finished getting the food trays passed out we would come and put her to bed, well she called her daughter who called the administrator and said I told her mom I did'nt have time to put her to bed. The list just goes on. Everyone seems to look for the negative and overlook the positive things we do. Sorry for rambling, but I'm with you on this one.

Brownms46 · Oct 4, 2003

You know it's funny, how family members can't do all the stuff they want you to do for their family members, with just only them to care for. But all of a sudden, they seem to think they hired the staff as private duty nurses!!!

I believe the majority of the problems comes from admin giving people unrealistic expectations in LTC and the hospitals. And then the news media being many times as ignorant as the public is on healthcare, promotes the rherotic admin people hand them. Then the public feels they have right to have what ever they want, when they want it.

One thing that really bothers me when I'm working in a hospital, is how people bring their kids in, an let them just run all over the place. I have watched staff almost trip over these kids, and the parents get pissed when you ask them to keep the kids in the room!! Hospitals used to not allow kids below the age of 12 or 13 on the units, and I think it should still be that way!

People even bring new born babies and lay them on the pts. beds, and I wonder what is the world are they thinking???

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 4, 2003

I've seen the family member writing down the names and duties more and more these days. As was pointed out the media, and lawyer commercials, are making family members aware of the errors in hospitals.

Just today Oprah's show was on medical errors. I didn't watch because I was at the gym. Her first guest was about someone who had faulty lab results and then sued and got over 8 million dollars. She says 260 people die a day of medical errors. I didn't finish watching the show to see if nursing was going to be implicated in any of the other guests.

I think though, one can be a family member advocate and still have manners.

I can't understand patients who when we round on them get grumpy. What do they think they are in hospital for? For a vacation? If we left them alone, boy would we here about that as well. Kind of a no-win situation.

Of course, take a drive, or wait in a line and you will see the general irritability of the public. We are impatient, we are demanding and we are stressed. If we get unhappy we sue.

flowerchild · Oct 4, 2003

I don't work in the hospitals anymore but I have noticed a change in the way patients and people respect and treat me. There once was a day that the "RN" behind my name was enough to get people to listen, respect, and follow my directions. No longer. I now watch people defy the directions I give, people who'd just as well spit on my shoes rather than giving respect, and the one that bugs me the most; asking for my advice and then asking non medical people around them the same advice and taking the non nurses advice over my own! What? Are they NUTS?

I have NOT changed the way I treat people. I am respectful, kind, courtious, and a good listener. I thought for a while it was me and took it all very personally, until I realised it wasn't me, it's just others being rude and abnoxious and stupid.