Harassed at work

jrzboii · Apr 14, 2012

If I were you I would start collecting evidence against him since you know the he said she said thing. Then if he doesn't stop the harrasement you can take it to the authorities and sue his butt off. No one deserves to be sexually harrased thats crazy. I also understand the situation with money, I am a nursing student almost finishing and had a good paying job to a private patient who had cognitive impairment. The pt mother was unbearable kept telling me how lousy I was and I was a bad nurse and picked on everything trivial such as leaving a razor off the charger. I left that job and basically struggled to get my bills paid so I feel your pain. Get proof and you should be fine if he tries to terminate you unjustly or goes further with the touching.

catebsn25 · Apr 14, 2012

Thank you for your reply... I have considered that but I'm not sure I could sue him! I might bring this up to the other women who work with me... See if they deal with this as well.

WannaBNursey, ADN, ASN, RN · Apr 15, 2012

I'm going to guess you are working private duty in somebody's home? Things like this happen all the time, but it doesn't make it ok. Really the only thing you can do is quit. If you were working for an agency you could ask for a different client, but that's the problem working private duty, it's good pay, but you don't know where you'll find your next job. I'm going though a difficult time trying to find a new job after my client moved to live near her son in Miami.

allnurses Guide · Apr 15, 2012

He has all his cognitive facilities, yes? Then just sit down with him and SPELL IT OUT. Tell him you have valued working for him and enjoyed your working relationship and that you want that to continue, but that it is a PROFESSIONAL relationship only and you are not going to tolerate him pawing at you or making inappropriate suggestions. Tell him plainly that it makes you feel uncomfortable, objectified and violated. Then ask him what he would like to happen from here forward. He can either straighten up and fly right or he can find someone else effective immediately. If he wants you to stay, explain that being treated poorly will result in you terminating your employment immediately. He can be as quiet and sulky as he pleases....that's just part of the job for you to deal with....including his being demanding about various things. But if he treats you badly, that is not okay. Then detach yourself emotionally from the situation. YOU are in control here. You can leave any time. There will be other jobs and other ways to make it through. The more detached you are, the more he will sense he does not have the upper hand with you.

catebsn25 · Apr 15, 2012

yes, he is all there mentally... I've tried to sit down and talk with him about it but I've never told him I might quit. that's a great idea thank you everyone :)

caliotter3 · Apr 15, 2012

Simple answer. Find another job, or as you say, two other jobs.

Creamsoda, ASN, RN · Apr 15, 2012

Umm, quit, and charge him with sexual harrasment! Seriously!!!!!

Creamsoda, ASN, RN · Apr 15, 2012

Or if you really dont want to quit because of the money, tell him point blank to cut it out or you WILL go to the authorities. Ensure you are documenting these episodes for your records.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Apr 15, 2012

Is this guy young-ish? I would make it very clear to him that his attentions are not welcome and you will press assault charges and quit if he continues in this unwanted behaviors. Tell him being in a wheelchair does not excuse him of inappropriate behaviors and actions.....peroid. If you are booked through an agency tell them immediately. Tell him he does it again you will call the police. I know of a quad male (in MA) from a swimming accident that sulks and pouts with demanding repetitive tasks when he doesn't get his way and is inappropriate most of the time. Tell his family you will quit if he doesn't stop immediately.

No nice talk treat him like anybody else who fondles you when it is not welcome. The next time he does it.......pickup your cell phone and dial 911.

tomc5555 · Apr 15, 2012

I would first like to tell you all how much allnurses means to me! When I get down on myself and feel discouraged I can just come here and I instantly feel better. I read your stories and responses and know that I am not alone... and yes, this is HARD!! But so worth it!
Now, onto business... I am currently a student in a BSN program in Massachusetts and my expected finish date is December 2013. I work as a PCA in home for a quadriplegic man and I've worked for him since February 2008. The pay is phenomenal and I have the perfect work schedule for a student... One 24hr shift per week Saturday to Sunday. I was ecstatic when he hired me and I was very happily employed until about 6 months ago.
I was working my normal shift one afternoon and had just got him up in his chair with the Hoyer and was buckling, strapping and adjusting him into a comfortable position. He is capable of moving both of his arms but in a clumsy way, but has little feeling left on the most distal portion of his arms. Out of no where he says, "Wow, are you even wearing a bra?" And touches my chest with his hand. I awkwardly walked away, came back and explained that it made me uncomfortable and I thought we had moved on...
But now he has started trying to make me kiss him, not every weekend but mostly. He will get his elbow around my waist and pull me in. I've spoken to him about that as well but when I do he will sulk and treat me like crap (ex: making me repeat tasks, turn fan on, 2 min later turn fan off... and so on), or ignore me for the rest of the shift.
This post is partially to vent, but also to see if anyone has any suggestions. I work privately for him and he is my supervisor so I can't speak to any manager or boss... I have considered quitting, but I would need to pick up at least two new jobs to match what I am making now. I have tried ignoring it, but it is really starting to get to me... I feel used, degraded and objectified.
Anyway thank you guys for letting me vent... Please pass along any ideas...
NURSES ROCK!! :)

Since you are working privately, I would find other employment. If he is paying you and not paying taxes this could be bad for you in the long run.

He is not going to stop this abuse so you should leave immediately.

Reporting him or suing will take a lot of your time and energy and probably not worth the trouble.

Best wishes for you.