Hanging up my stethescope

[sissiesmama]

I have been nursing for the past 19 years, and working in the hospital for 3 years before that and have always loved it. It hasn't always been the "dream job", and it hasn't always been easy. I have loved my profession and made many friends since starting in it, including my hubbie.

I am 39, and many of you here may remember some of the health problems I have been dealing with in the past year. In the spring, I had been dx as having one of the ASD, and went to New Orleans to have their pediatric interventional card. MDs close it for me. He did, using the Helix device and let me f/u with my cardiologist here in north Louisiana. Before the closure, I started having seizures and episodes of syncope. The ER docs attributed these to my cardiac defect and tried to reassure me these weren't permanent after running what seemed like every test known to man.

I did f/u with local cardiac MD, and wore another holter monitor. The next visit I wore one of the 21 day ones, and after seeing these and the tests the ER docs had ordered, acheduled a cath. I had received quite a few calls from the monitoring company when I started having a syncopal episode, and other various oddities. I started going into v tach, with an episode lasting more than 30 seconds but self terminating by 45 seconds.

I had the cath almost 2 weeks ago, and the doc was not able to fix or ablate something that has been causing this. I still have resp. and other complications that the 39 years of having the ASD caused, which has limited even my mobility and ADLs (to a certain extent.) Hubbie and I have talked and decided that I will not go back to nursing. Right now, I even have trouble getting the mail or cooking if it gets too warm in the kitchen.

I just really thought I would have had more nursing to get under my belt before leaving the field. I just don't know what I could contribute to my patients.

Used to be Anne, RNC now I guess it's just plain old Anne :paw::paw:

I did want to add my love for my cyber friends here at allnurses. I just wish I had found the site earlier in my career, it has been SO very helpful in the care I have been able to give my patients and my knowledge of areas I was not sure in, some of the things I had not seen or experienced.

[kknox40]

Semper Fi.............

Always Faithful

[sissiesmama, ASN, RN]

no, it's still Anne, RNC. Just retired lol. You EARNED that title.

Thank you! I needed to hear that today.

Anne

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Well, it's true, Anne. And at only 39---physical challenges nothwithstanding---you have youth in your favor in meeting, and perhaps even overcoming, those challenges. You may or may not be able to run a hospital floor for 12 hours/day again, but even if you never do, it doesn't make you any less of a nurse........there are many other arenas in which you can exercise your knowledge and skills, should you one day be able to return to work.

Either way, please know you are a valued member here at AN, and we hope you'll continue to post here and keep us updated. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

[Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN]

Hey Anne c'mon over here and ride in the same boat! I hated having to retire I mean I hated it. I had to because I have severe Psoriatic Rhematoid arthritis It is horribly painful and disfiguring to boot. Start working on your disability for future income. It will help. One of the things that made me so depressed was I dreamed about working all the time, I still do but maybe once or twice a month now. That part is slowing down. I would dream I would go downstairs to the cafeteria or pharmacy but I couldn't find my way back to the unit and I would panic about my patients.

Now here is the really GOOD news You never have to work the weekends again. And even better, you never have to work or be on call for holidays, ever. I retired in 2005 and it took me a while to adjust to it. I had worked all my life frome the time I turned 14 until now and I am 58. I get to have my grandkids anytime I want them I get to go to every single holiday that rolls around. In the summer I can go to the lake whenever I want including the weekdays. I am pretty much immobile so there is no romping around. I have found I LOVE retirement. Eventually you will too.

[BEDPAN76]

Hi Anne, Thanks for the update! Have had you on my mind lately..... Keep on visiting us and checking in. You are a great person and I for one value your opinions and advice! :redbeathe

[leslie :-D]

aw annie...:icon_hug:

i really do wish you well.

maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep your license current.

you just never know...

maybe one day there will be a cardiologist who would repair/ablate the anomaly.

never give up hope.

most of us would be nothing without it.

leslie

[Midwest4me]

:icon_hug:sorry to hear of your health problems; am sending positive thoughts your way and prayers "heavenward"! share that wealth of experience you have with us; god bless you!

[sissiesmama, ASN, RN]

My feelings exactly...once a nurse, always a nurse. i wish you the very best!

maybe you can teach an online BSN class or something...or telephone triage...its nursing!!!

Whatever happens you are in our thoughts and prayers.:loveya:

Yes - my dh has told me the same thing, I did work long and hard for that nursing license, and just because I'm not still in the ER running like my pants were on fire doesn't take away all those years, the memories, the family members and former patients I still run into occasionally.

I have some thank you cards that I received after patients have passed away - those do remind me of some of the good I did during their stay.

It does give me a little insight into some of my patients - after my first seizure, waking up in my BR with the fire dept guys standing there, and me arguing with my dh (who is also an RN) that "No, I did NOT have a seizure. There's NO way...".

Then there's the syncopal episodes with different strange guys there after my dh, and then my 11 yr old son called 911 trying to get my big butt up off the floor.

The one that is the most vivid, and definetly the worst is when dh was at work and I went into v tach at home alone. I was halfway through my 21 day monitor wearing and I woke up with the most horrible feeling. I just couldn't breathe at all, it felt like, and my heart felt like it was going to explode. Felt like an elephant was sitting on me, and got so clammy and diaphoretic. It was one of the runs that lasted more than 30 seconds but self terminated by 45 seconds. That was a LONG 45 seconds!

Reading your posts have helped my state of mind so much. It didn't really bother me too much getting rid of my uniforms, but when it came to my Littman, it just seems so final.

Anne, RNC