half way through and feeling bleak

HopefulRN2006 · Jun 15, 2005

I can relate! I am also half way thru, and I dread my summer being over and going back to......."jail".....heehee....well, that is what it feels like, anyway!

At the end of my first year, I failed a test, and my overall grade was just making a C. I got to feeling blah, and got real down on myself. Then I told myself to get myself together, think positive, and start kicking a$$. So I pulled myself up from barely a C to a high B for my final grade.

Don't make one fail make or break you. Tell yourself you can do it, and you will.

Good luck.

ckh23, BSN, RN · Jun 15, 2005

I agree with the above poster. Don't let one lab failure stop you. It happens and it doesn't mean your going to make a bad nurse. As a recent graduate, I can remeber the half way point and wondering when it would be over and I would dread going to class. It will get better the second half because everything will start coming together and before you know it you will be ready to graduate. Graduation is the big payoff of all that hard work, and it is well worth it. Just hang in there.

ZASHAGALKA, RN · Jun 15, 2005

YOU CAN DO IT.

You have to think about nursing school as putting in your dues.

It's worth it.

The rants us -already in the field - nurses rant about are the stesses of a high stress job.

But ask us if it's worth it, and most of us will say, heck yeah!

The neat thing about this job is that you go to work everyday knowing that the very real difference in somebody's life could be you, today.

One of my common prayers before I go to work: "If the opportunity should arise, allow me to be the miracle You send somebody today"

Where else can you get that.

Hang in there. School is about weeding out those who shouldn't be in nursing. That's a good thing. But it's time for a gut check. You are one of the ones who should be here, right?!?

It might be time to suck it up and take a fuller measure of yourself. But if you search your soul, you will find that you are morally tall enough.

Hold faith with yourself. That's what you are not only in nursing school to accomplish; it's what you are in life to accomplish.

Timothy.

ranxerox · Jun 15, 2005

man I hear you.

I think nurse instructors think that they are weeding people out so there can be good nurses...high standards and the like.....

I wonder though how much of this is....I went through it, so you should go through it in the same way I did.

Things have gotten different lately. Now if you get kicked out, your finished, in years past getting kicked out just meant starting over or transfering.

I think your lucky that you only have to worry about passing and grading. All you need to do is study better/more/more efficiently. My problem is more insidious, I'm not really great at sucking up, or dealing with this kind of arbitrary authority.

I think it's cultural, I never learned this kind of respect for authority...I kinda wonder how many new york jews make it through california nursing schools......

Stick with it, get a couple of good grades, and things will look a little different.

MIA-RN1, RN · Jun 15, 2005

I've heard of nursing burn out but has anyone out there experienced nursing student burnout? I am almost halfway through, am still pulling As and Bs in classes, have passed all labs except the last -- I'm on probation for the first time -- been meeting all clinical requirements, care plans, skills, etc., but I seem to have lost my zest for everything. Today we did a new lab demo and I was watching and taking notes and just feeling this sense of dread like, I still have to pass the lab I failed and I just know I'm going to fail this one, like it's just a matter of time before the whole house of cards collapses. Really, I feel like it's only a matter of time before I just flunk out and I'm kind of like, I don't know, I had so much passion when I went into this, and I have jumped through A LOT of hoops and I can't imagine doing anything else but...phloop...I feel like a deflated balloon. Can anyone relate? And how do I get myself back on track? :uhoh21:

Can you find some time to carve out and do something really fun? even if its just a couple hours at a museum, or playing splatball, or something different. It sounds like you are getting buried under a bit and you need to find the time to reconnect with yourself in another aspect other than that of student nurse.

Remember that you are a whole person and its important to take some time back from studying and do something totally not related. Me, I don't do ANY school work on Fridays. Not even a peek at my notes. That is MY time that I am not a student, I am just ME. Can you do that? The trick is to find some balance for yourself.

Do you have someone you can talk to? Maybe you are in a bit of a depression and it might help to talk it out. Realy, look at the pressure you are under and by telling yourself you are going to fail, you almost guarantee it. Does your school have some kind of student assistance program you can go to? Zoloft changed my life and there is no stigma with it.

Good luck and keep your eyes on the prize. This WILL END. You WILL PASS that lab. You know you will!

mariedoreen · Jun 15, 2005

When do you get a break between terms?

JenNJFLCA · Jun 15, 2005

OMG!! I am feeling the exact same way! I am hoping that having the summer off from classes will be the break that I need. I am just tired of nursing school. Tired of care plans. Tire of getting treated like dirt by the nurses at the hospital. Tired of getting grades I don't deserve and watching slackers get higher grades in clinical (we get letter grades.....that's just wrong). I feel like a teenager in nursing school.....I am not ready to be out on my own yet, but I am tired of being treated like an idiot. I am literally counting down the days till pinning......323 to be exact! I know I will be fine once I am out of school, and I truly do love nursing, but I am tired of working FT, going to school FT, & all the things listed above!

Fridays are my days for NO school work & NO work. I usually have class for 3 hours & that's it. IT's my favorite day of the week that I savor & cherish. :)

purplekath · Jun 16, 2005

I totally relate sweetie - I really do. I found myself feeling this way awhile ago. What I did was get myself a study-buddy to email with. We motivated each other, set out daily plans for study so that we would feel like we'd be letting the other one down if we lost the plot, and just worked through the plan. In between we would send each other little notes of encouragement and confidence boosting. It really helped.

leopold · Jun 16, 2005

Yeah I've been like a heat-seeking missile since I started this. Absolute total focus on school to the point where I sort of forgot why I was actually going to school. Why am I sitting here talking to my teacher with my hand up this mannequins butt? Oh enema lab. Oh. I will need to do this on actual people. Kind of lose sight of the goal. Need to focus on the goal. Or not. I figure my first year on the job is going to be pretty scary. OK, the goal after that is to be a good NURSE :nurse:

Anyway I went into lab today and practiced my procedure until I got kicked out, will go in tomorrow am, practice, practice. I will get this.

I'm kind of a total control freak and have never felt more out of control. My response is to become even more controlling and, thus, feel more out of control. It always worked before; what's the deal? Anyway, one month break in July.

Thanks all, for your input. :)

blue heron · Oct 23, 2005

I hear you.

I am in my third year of four, and was not doing well. Ended up in counselor's office after crying every day for two weeks, not sleeping properly for three weeks, no short term memory, and a few other symptoms. Diagnoses? Severe depression. I'm now on Efexor, and seeing a counselor regularly. I had to tell my profs, and they have been awesome. Again I am reminded that they are all nurses first, profs second (at leat at our school).

So I guess I am saying that you may be in a similar boat. One question the counselor asked me in our first session was did I like nursing. I had to tell her that somewhere inside I still love it, but I can't feel it right now. I'm a little better now, Dr. says another two weeks for full effect of meds to be felt. Then we may have to up the dose.

She was another surprise. When I went to her about this, her response was that she had been expecting this! She said that with the change of me going back to school after being an at home mom, coupled with the choice of nursing, AND how hard I am on myself (anything under 90% is NOT good enough), she had been watching for this. That was without two deaths in our family in 14 months, and some other emotionally tramatic stuff.

so here is what every one is telling me BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Easier said than done, I know, but I am working on it. And seek some professional help. Whether medical or counseling, or both. It is really making a difference for me.

Also, find a buddy or two that you can really talk with. That has also helped me a lot.

Post here, or email me if you want. That may help too.

So as my Dr. said, it is not a character flaw or a weakness in you. It is simply your humanity showing through, and that is OK.

Cheers :Melody:

crb613, BSN, RN · Oct 23, 2005

I will graduate in May (fingers crossed)! & I feel the same way. I have always had plenty of energy & self motivation for studying.........but now I find it soooo hard to do. I have a big ole test coming up & what am I doing.........not studying. I don't want to do my reading... although I do try to & it is pure torture. I will actually count the pages to see how many I have left. Geezh, I have to get over this & don't know how. So far I am doing fine but I know I could do so much better & that is really a bad feeling. On the other hand clinicals are a different story...I am all over that & love them & I hate to see the day end....I am like a dang superball all over the place, doing any & everything I get a chance to. I take care of my pt & help everybody else & still look for stuff to do. Maybe this is normal (probally not) but if ya'll figure out how to get some balance back please let me know! Everyone has told me that things will just click.....well I have not had the click moment yet & am getting a little worried......when do things click? I am running out of time!