Interesting thing happened to me in the hospital the other day...
was passing IV-push meds on a lady... meds took 4 minutes (urgg) so as im standing at the bedside holding this lady's arm after explaining procedure blah blah... She turns to me... LAUGHS and says...
" Oh wow! i didnt know they had Negroes at this hospital.... Ive never seen ONE here before":eek:
Granted the hospital is deep in the suburbs but surely....
May i add that she went on and on about how "sunburnt" i was and how ...and this is the clincher...i must be SOOO HAPPY that Obama is in office because now "you people" can finally do something...(what exactly we are meant to do, i have no idea)
SHE WAS 45......
now im not making any excuses, but if 90 yr old said the same thing i'd kind of understand that that was the era in which they grew up in but she was 45!!!!!!
my instructor runs into the room (she was outside the door waiting for me to get done so we could move on to the next pt) and tries to change the subject but this lady just charges on.... if thats not bad enough, she goes on to talk about how her "lady parts" are so "saggy" that she just cannot have sex anymore and tells my instructor "would you like to see it? you nursing people are good at this sort of thing":eek:
Now im just standing there...the longest 4 minutes of my life.... i dont even say anything.....im just kind of shocked...... in retrospect i wish id said something maybe along the lines of "thats inappropriate"
My question is.. how does someone react to this kind of situation without being rude?
I would suspect that this patient was bipolar. People who have bipolar disease often lack social sensitivity. They just talk and talk without any filters on what they are saying and without any care about the person who is listening to them. They say things that make others angry and are totally unaware that they are being inappropriate. You probably did the right thing by not saying anything. If you were to say something like "that is inappropriate" she would have either ignored you or started on another tirade. It was good just to stay professional. Maybe a nurse with more psychiatric experience would know better (I am an ER nurse), but when I am dealing with someone like that I usually just say little and let them ramble-and try not to let them get to me.
I had a woman one time who kept making borderline and some not-so borderline sexual jokes to me. Now if you met me you would know that most things don't really weird me out. But this woman was WEIRDDDD, def was a few fries short of a happy meal if you're picking up what I'm putting down. When she would say these things I was just kinda laugh awkwardly and come back with some kind of sarcastic remark, altho she thought I was trying to be funny cuz she kept laughing even tho I was kinda making fun of her but obviously she didn't get it. There really isn't much you can say in that situation.
If was in your shoes. I probabaly would not have been so reserved as you. It would have taken me all restraint not to fire back with something and call her an ignorant
*&^% $%*%$ ^*&%*&^#$& &^($#@!@@! (got me) I dont care if she was a groupie n did alot of drugs, that's just down right wrong, she's 45 years old you cant tell me she doesn't know what she's saying is not appropriate. I think you handled it in a good way. Sometimes there just isn't much to say and that was def one of those situation. Good job for handling it as you did.
Oh and a caveat to my story is that I'm a murse. LOL Yeaa
I would concur with the other posters who think this woman could have had some strange reaction to the medications she was taking now, was possibly bipolar, or had some lasting brain damage due to previous recreational drug use. She may have also just been someone who lacked social skills and sensitivity or was just plain rude.
I don't think you had a brain fart at all and handled it the best way you could. Unfortunately, as a nurse you will encounter people who lack social judgment---maybe because of stress or medication or comorbidity---and you will encounter people who are downright rude. Sometimes patients and their families make rude comments about a nurse's race, gender, or sexual orientation---but they also might make snide remarks about a nurse's age (too young or too old), a nurse's weight, or even the nurse's physical attractiveness. A very confused patient with dementia once told an older (very beautiful) nurse that she wasn't pretty enough to take care of him. She knew it was his dementia talking and handled it with class but it still hurt her feelings.
I am very sorry this happened to you. I wish I could assure you that it won't happen again, but it probably will. I think you are smart to discuss your feelings about this here and it might not hurt if you talk to your instructor about how you felt. If it happens at the workplace, any nurse manager worth his/her salt will listen to your concerns and support you should you face another situation like this again. I sure hope you don't have to go through another experience like this again but in case you do, keep this experience in your head and learn from it. And remember, even if your patients treat you rudely, by maintaining composure and class, you don't let the rude people or bigots win.
Well, OP it is so ridiculous that I'd try to see the outrageous humor in it. Now you sure do have a story to tell... I had a classmate who had a patient who had a problem with people from asia. I witnessed the whole thing and this lady was very old and cussing/combative. I had stepped in to help, and when we were done, we both got the giggles to the point of crying. This little old lady just chose the classic putdowns, it was like she was doing a "Roast" with all the worst foul language.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i spoke to her nurse who gave me a little bit of the history- she was a groupie in her day, followed around rock bands and did all sorts of drugs ("but not heroin! heroin is bad for you{direct quote she told the nurse})
most of her meds were for copd and diuretics..
the patient was inappropriate and totally out of line. you did the right thing -- whether you planned to or stunned silence was all you could manage. it sounds like she was inappropriate because of a little brain damage. or something. if she wasn't altered and said the same things, you'd be perfectly correct in telling her she's inappropriate.
This type of thing is so difficult at first and then in a few years you'll have so many second hand comfortable remarks that it takes an expert to catch you off guard.
"I have no idea how to respond to that!" was my favorite until I mastered the one eyebrow elevated blank stare until they broke eye contact.... simple stunned silence... management prefers me that way.
Many of my other responses required closed door conversations where I promised to be more tactful.
Specializes in ICU, PICU, School Nursing, Case Mgt.
WOW,
I am seldom if ever at a loss for words but this one got me! I am speechless!
THis lady aint right....but then again she is 45 with COPD? How many packs a day does she smoke and does she accompany them with Jack Daniels?
Speaking of "sunburn" how RED was her NECK?
That being said, You will have all kinds of outrageous statements made to you and about you...Let it GO!
Do not take it personally. Consider the source. I wouldn't respond at all. Go about your business in as ultra professional way as possible. That does not give her anymore ammunition. It also takes the pleasure away from her of knowing she "got" to you.
When all else fails, remember you can not cure STUPID!
"I have no idea how to respond to that!" was my favorite until I mastered the one eyebrow elevated blank stare until they broke eye contact.... simple stunned silence... management prefers me that way.
Excellent. The deadpan stare usually works. A couple times I've been asked, "what's that look for?" or similar things, to which I reply, "I have a librarian stare and I'm not afraid to use it!" followed by a stern look over the top of my glasses.
.(what exactly we are meant to do, i have no idea)
MarySmoak
3 Posts
I would suspect that this patient was bipolar. People who have bipolar disease often lack social sensitivity. They just talk and talk without any filters on what they are saying and without any care about the person who is listening to them. They say things that make others angry and are totally unaware that they are being inappropriate. You probably did the right thing by not saying anything. If you were to say something like "that is inappropriate" she would have either ignored you or started on another tirade. It was good just to stay professional. Maybe a nurse with more psychiatric experience would know better (I am an ER nurse), but when I am dealing with someone like that I usually just say little and let them ramble-and try not to let them get to me.