Published Mar 3, 2010
OhioCCRN, MSN, NP
572 Posts
Interesting thing happened to me in the hospital the other day...
was passing IV-push meds on a lady... meds took 4 minutes (urgg) so as im standing at the bedside holding this lady's arm after explaining procedure blah blah... She turns to me... LAUGHS and says...
" Oh wow! i didnt know they had Negroes at this hospital.... Ive never seen ONE here before":eek:
Granted the hospital is deep in the suburbs but surely....
May i add that she went on and on about how "sunburnt" i was and how ...and this is the clincher...i must be SOOO HAPPY that Obama is in office because now "you people" can finally do something...(what exactly we are meant to do, i have no idea)
SHE WAS 45......
now im not making any excuses, but if 90 yr old said the same thing i'd kind of understand that that was the era in which they grew up in but she was 45!!!!!!
my instructor runs into the room (she was outside the door waiting for me to get done so we could move on to the next pt) and tries to change the subject but this lady just charges on.... if thats not bad enough, she goes on to talk about how her "lady parts" are so "saggy" that she just cannot have sex anymore and tells my instructor "would you like to see it? you nursing people are good at this sort of thing":eek:
Now im just standing there...the longest 4 minutes of my life.... i dont even say anything.....im just kind of shocked...... in retrospect i wish id said something maybe along the lines of "thats inappropriate"
My question is.. how does someone react to this kind of situation without being rude?
HollyHobby
157 Posts
Wow, this woman sounds like she has some frontal lobe damage. Seriously, could she have a history of a head injury or some other organic brain disease?
I probably would have reacted just like you did: stunned silence. I doubt there's anything you could have said to improve the situation; anything you might have said might have just caused her to go on and on some more. At least it doesn't seem like she was being malicious, just stupid. And in nursing, you'll meet all kinds of stupid.
I'm sorry you had to hear such nonsense. Hopefully, after the shock wears off, you'll be able to laugh about it later.
oramar
5,758 Posts
Sorry you were made to feel uncomfortable. My first question would be, "what meds is she on?" Sounds like she needs an adjustment. The brain seems to be disconnected from the mouth. As far as saying "that is inappropriate", it is good response. Next time you will think of it when you run accross shocking things. It kind of floors you the first time and you go speechless, that is normal, probably means you are a nice person. Be prepared to see people at their worst, it goes with the territory of being a nurse. I am sort of disappointed at your instructors response. It should NOT be the first time she ran into it.
madwife2002, BSN, RN
26 Articles; 4,777 Posts
Why was this tutor not in the room with you whilst you were pushing the meds then she could have handled the situation more appropriatly-when you are new in the health care profession it takes time to become accustomed to peoples rude conversations.
kanzi monkey
618 Posts
You can't.
Oh sure you can, but seriously, at this point I think cryptic, awkward silence is your best bet. No reason to respond to that, she is not being hospitalized for racism (though someone should probably look into treating her for that).
Sorry for such a nasty experience.
Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN
11,305 Posts
When you added the part about her wanting to show her "lady parts" to you and your instructor - that made me realize she is probably impaired in some way. Head injury, early onset dementia, long history of illegal drug or alcohol use that stunted her brain. What meds is she on is a good question. Was she just out of surgery? Anesthesia does amazing things to people after surgery. We had one man get so belligerent to staff - and then he climbed out of bed after a hip replacement and ended up getting out of the hospital and found walking down the highway with just his hospital gown flapping in the snow . . at 4 a.m. A day or so later, he was back to normal and appalled by the stories his family told him. Appalled and apologetic.
I wouldn't react - just smile, say "no thanks" to the offer of the "lady parts" and keep pushing the med.
Sorry about your encounter but it is actually a very good object lesson - something that needs to be brought up in class and discussed.
steph
Mell Bell
71 Posts
I think the best reaction is no reaction. If you're not being threatened or verbally abused, just let them talk, and let it roll off you. It seems your patient was just making some ignorant observations, I think you acted appropriately. You're not going to change or enlighten a patient in 4 minutes, so just do what you need to do and move on to the next patient.
When we pass meds- She usually has us do it on our own-after verifying everything with her, because she wants us to be comfortable dealing one on one w/ pts and not get used to being hand-held and such...
You can't. Oh sure you can, but seriously, at this point I think cryptic, awkward silence is your best bet. No reason to respond to that, she is not being hospitalized for racism (though someone should probably look into treating her for that).Sorry for such a nasty experience.
Thank you! Yup I think silence is a good thing sometimes so noone can say you ever said anything innapropriate back :)
When you added the part about her wanting to show her "lady parts" to you and your instructor - that made me realize she is probably impaired in some way. Head injury, early onset dementia, long history of illegal drug or alcohol use that stunted her brain. What meds is she on is a good question. Was she just out of surgery? Anesthesia does amazing things to people after surgery. We had one man get so belligerent to staff - and then he climbed out of bed after a hip replacement and ended up getting out of the hospital and found walking down the highway with just his hospital gown flapping in the snow . . at 4 a.m. A day or so later, he was back to normal and appalled by the stories his family told him. Appalled and apologetic.I wouldn't react - just smile, say "no thanks" to the offer of the "lady parts" and keep pushing the med.Sorry about your encounter but it is actually a very good object lesson - something that needs to be brought up in class and discussed. steph
I spoke to her nurse who gave me a little bit of the history- she was a groupie in her day, followed around rock bands and did all sorts of drugs ("but not heroin! heroin is bad for you{direct quote she told the nurse})
Most of her meds were for COPD and diuretics..
Claritee
34 Posts
I understand your "brain-fart". I'm also a nursing student and clinicals are very... interesting. I think I would have laughed it off if she was 90 as well, but because she was only 45, I would have been very weirded-out. I agree that she probably had some type of mental disorder.
Since patient education is a major role of a nurse, I guess an appropriate way to react without being rude would be to politely educate the patient. Maybe telling her that you aren't sunburned and that this is your natural color. Or letting her know that you wanted to respect her privacy and did not need to observe the sagginess of private areas unless it was something that she would like you to make her provider aware of for possible treatment. You know, just something to bring her back to the reality that exists outside of her disorder.
But in reality, I think my brain would have farted, too!:)
I am so sorry this happen to you but for everybad, horrible patient you will meet really nice pt's. I think you did the correct thing in saying nothing.