Graduate Nurses vs. Experienced Nurses (Promise to be funny!)

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Graduate Nurses vs Experienced Nurses

1. A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does.

An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.

2. A Graduate Nurse has so many pins on their name badge you can't read it.

An experienced nurse doesn't wear a name badge for liability reasons.

3. A Graduate Nurse charts too much.

An experienced nurse doesn't chart enough.

4. A Graduate Nurse loves to run to codes.

An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.

5. A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.

An experienced nurse doesn't want anyone to know they are a nurse.

6. A Graduate Nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.

An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.

7. A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.

An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them

8. A Graduate Nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.

An experienced nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.

9. A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.

An experienced nurse doesn't want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.

10. A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.

An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.

11. A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.

An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

12. A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.

An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

13. A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance "to work with the family"

An experienced nurse avoids the family.

14. A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.

An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.

15. A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.

An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.

16. A Graduate Nurse always answers their phone.

An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.

17. A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.

An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

18. A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in their bag.

An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some "cough syrup" in their bag.

19. A Graduate Nurse doesn't find this funny.

An experienced nurse does.

Hope you enjoy it!

Very funny!!! I love it and I am only a begining nursing student!!!!!

Specializes in Med-Surg.
A simple joke thread eh fellas?

Not everyone has to love the joke. Humor is 99% offensive to someone or the other - blonde jokes, lawyer jokes, cop jokes etc. etc. etc. etc.

Lets leave it at that, yeah? Can we fight over something else, please? ;)

Roy

allnurses.com moderator

Roy, I honestly don't think anyone's fighting here. I think the thread has been very mature and light hearted, that it's strayed a bit off topic shouldn't be a problem. Of course it's gone into the realm of non-nursing and that can be a mods ace in the hole for closing it. :lol2:

Maybe I'm being sensitive because your "A simple joke thread fellas?" sounds condescending and akin to "lighten up", which you know bugs me. :angryfire

Obviously, as I've been the main poster any comment about the thread is directed at me. But that's o.k. I can dish it out and take it too. :)

As usual, it doesn't take me long to break my vow to bow out of a thread and keep my mouth shut. LOL

Sammi,

Thought it was funny! Usually to be funny jokes exaggrate a situation. As an experienced nurse I don't avoid families, throw people in restraints at the drop of a hat, etc .... but I sometimes THINK about doing those things LOL Here's a family situation that just happened to me ... these kinds of instances are what make you want to avoid families.

Had a patient whose condition was going down fast and was probably heading to the ICU. In the meantime, my phone rings with a family member on the phone about another one of my patients. I ask the caller for the patients "passcode" (hippa) and the caller states to me oh for pete's sake, you mean I have to get out of the pool and retrieve that information? YIKES! LOL ... really mean thoughts did go thru my head ... but my brain kicked in thankfully and I was able to be nice but firm.

I remember being a grad nurse and thinking everyone wanted to get well, live a healthy live, etc and I would be able to help them. Over the years I've come to realize some people truly don't want that help ... they just want a quick fix and then to continue living their life, destructive as it might be. Its good to have those high ideals ... I still hope to help all my patients but now realize not everyone wants that and now I also realize I have to take care of myself as well. Just mho,

quiltingrn

Specializes in NICU, DC planning, Neurosurgery, Inf Dis.

That's what makes nursing so awesome...we can come from all walks of life...all kinds of opinions and points of view....but hopefully we have the same or similar goals in mind....we care about our patients and we care about each other...new nurse...seasoned nurse...shouldn't matter..........................

...and if you disagree with that statement maybe you need to be trying to do something about the "state of affairs" in the nursing profession....and btw....I thought it was a moderately amusing original post....topkat

As a neutral onlooker, this thread has been very "catty" since this morning! Why don't we all just STOP & think of what we are arguing about...our own opinions...that's all....every one can say what they want ...some get offened ...some laugh...I just read all that post's & don't really have an "opinion" at all...some stuff was funny...some could be offensive but, I don't think that it was posted with the intent of "all nurses really just restrain their patients". It's almost like that funny pin "bend over I have your shot" or "I'm the nurse from hell"...simple humor to release our days worth of tension. I'm OK with it!

Specializes in Med-Surg.
As a neutral onlooker, this thread has been very "catty" since this morning! Why don't we all just STOP & think of what we are arguing about...

Catty???? Arguring?????

I respect your opinion, but I am going to have to disagree.

However, I did consider since Roy used the word "fighting" as well, that I might be wrong. I re-read to consider what you and Roy said and I still maintain it's been a civil discussion, not a catfight. But I surely respect your opinion.

If anyone thinks I've been catty and engaging in a fight, I humbly apologize. I think it's possible to disagree and discuss things, which I think is what I'm doing, but it may come across as arguementative. It's hard to communicate that on the internet what one is thinking, especially when one is disagreeing. To me this is just a light hearted entertaining topic of little importance and in no way is worth arguing and fighting about. :)

I wrote "catty" as in tit for tat type of statement. In no way should you feel the need to have to break from discussions. I agree w/ your statement of how hard it is to display yourself & what you are trying to say. I personally talk w/ my hands & many facial expressions...so what I was saying may have seemed much less harsh (in person) than having just written down in cold/flat words. Simply I was trying to say that I didn't believe that the original poster of the poem/joke way trying to draw a line between the new vs seasoned nurse. I actually thought it was poking MORE fun at the new nurse in how they still do everything as if they had their instructor right next to them..rather than the seasoned nurse being totall 100% efficent while in a more relaxed state. Normally I don't become involved in all the write backs & differences in opinions because everyone is entitled to their own. But, because I did make a comment in favor of the original poster & them "probably not being intentionally harmful to the experienced nurse" I will make this final attempt to try & explain myself better. I apologize for taking sides as I havn't intended to step between the debate. I honestly didn't think anyone was THAT offended or belittled. I'm out of it now. Sorry & I hope this explains better what I mean.

dorimar wrote, "yeah, it WAS funny, until you hit on the restraints, the alarms, the abnormal assessment, the avoidance of famiily.... Then it just sounded like your were talking about uncaring people. I may be experienced and even burnt out, but i'm not THERE yet. I still care about my patients. I think that's why I'm so tired and burnt."

We all do. Now fess up, you've certainly THOUGHT about it all, haven't you?

I'd add another one: Graduate nurses eagerly leap up to answer every call bell. Experienced nurses dream of mitt restraints and broken fingers as they head down the hall for the thirtieth time in an hour.

Specializes in Med-Surg.
I wrote "catty" as in tit for tat type of statement. In no way should you feel the need to have to break from discussions. I agree w/ your statement of how hard it is to display yourself & what you are trying to say. I personally talk w/ my hands & many facial expressions...so what I was saying may have seemed much less harsh (in person) than having just written down in cold/flat words. Simply I was trying to say that I didn't believe that the original poster of the poem/joke way trying to draw a line between the new vs seasoned nurse. I actually thought it was poking MORE fun at the new nurse in how they still do everything as if they had their instructor right next to them..rather than the seasoned nurse being totall 100% efficent while in a more relaxed state. Normally I don't become involved in all the write backs & differences in opinions because everyone is entitled to their own. But, because I did make a comment in favor of the original poster & them "probably not being intentionally harmful to the experienced nurse" I will make this final attempt to try & explain myself better. I apologize for taking sides as I havn't intended to step between the debate. I honestly didn't think anyone was THAT offended or belittled. I'm out of it now. Sorry & I hope this explains better what I mean.

I'm definately one of those who loves to post, discuss and debate, and I definately think everyone is entitled to their opinion, but that doesn't stop me from posting. In most cases the round and round discussions I've been in haven't been catty, fighting or argumentative, just talk.

I definately don't think there's any need for you to apologize for taking sides and stating an opinion. It's a message board for heaven's sake, that's what it's all about. :)

Being a New Graduate-(just passed the NCLEX!!!!) I found this kinda funny. It definitley doesnt apply to all experienced nurses. I have worked with both New and experienced nurses and both practice all thoses things occasionally. Peace:bow:

klhf,mbbjg- sorry my 3 year old needed to express herself

I'm an experianced nurse and I find this funny. It is ment has a satire of life. Face it some of the points are true. Face it how quickly do you resond to the alarms and bells on the unit. Some of the things relate to deligation of jobs and time management not laziness.

I'm not a nurse yet and I thought it was funny. I joined this site so I can get an idea of how other nurses are and how things work. I am really excited and I hope to be starting LPN school in January and the after a while, going back to get my RN.

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