Graduate Nurses vs. Experienced Nurses (Promise to be funny!)

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Graduate Nurses vs Experienced Nurses

1. A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does.

An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.

2. A Graduate Nurse has so many pins on their name badge you can't read it.

An experienced nurse doesn't wear a name badge for liability reasons.

3. A Graduate Nurse charts too much.

An experienced nurse doesn't chart enough.

4. A Graduate Nurse loves to run to codes.

An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.

5. A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.

An experienced nurse doesn't want anyone to know they are a nurse.

6. A Graduate Nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.

An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.

7. A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.

An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them

8. A Graduate Nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.

An experienced nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.

9. A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.

An experienced nurse doesn't want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.

10. A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.

An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.

11. A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.

An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

12. A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.

An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

13. A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance "to work with the family"

An experienced nurse avoids the family.

14. A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.

An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.

15. A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.

An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.

16. A Graduate Nurse always answers their phone.

An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.

17. A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.

An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

18. A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in their bag.

An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some "cough syrup" in their bag.

19. A Graduate Nurse doesn't find this funny.

An experienced nurse does.

Hope you enjoy it!

Specializes in Pediatric Intensive Care, ER.

One of the best lines from a new CEO at a hospital I worked for:

"Above all else, take your job seriously, but don't take yourself seriously! Have fun at your job, and if you don't - make it fun!"

I loved working for that guy, and he really hit home. This job can be depressing enough guys - you HAVE to look for the lighter things to get you through the day. Good job Sammie!

Joe

Specializes in none.

I am a GN and find it pretty funny... I do all those things and try to super overachieve only to fall striaght on my bottom!

Specializes in Med-Surg.
This job can be depressing enough guys - you HAVE to look for the lighter things to get you through the day. Joe

So who defines what are "the lighter things"? I know I'm being a troll, but my point is do I have to buy into someone else defination as to what is fun and "the lighter things to get me through the day"? If I don't laugh at your jokes is it fair to lecture me to "lighten up"?

Tweety -- off topic, but why do people tell 'queer' jokes at all anymore? It's so insulting. I'm an old married woman, and I cringe every time I hear someone tell a "joke" that humiliates another person.

While I do find the list humorous, I don't think it's meant to poke fun at anyone. Having worked in the ER for a while, I see that some of the 'experienced' nurses' actions are exactly my own. I'm not an uncaring nurse, I'm a busy busy busy nurse. If it makes my day easier/quicker/less hectic, it's going happen. Especially that foley.

Specializes in Case Management.

I am with you Tweety on this. Humor is an individual thing. If I don't like the humor, I don't have to read the rest. As for the OP I can take it or leave it. This list has been done before ad nauseum.

Namaste

Specializes in Adult ER.
so who defines what are "the lighter things"? i know i'm being a troll, but my point is do i have to buy into someone else defination as to what is fun and "the lighter things to get me through the day"? if i don't laugh at your jokes is it fair to lecture me to "lighten up"?

wow i wouldn't expect everyone to laugh at this joke but seriously wow i wouldn't have expected your response. i don't think anyone was lecturing you to lighten up more so i took it as relax its just a joke. man if people cant tell a joke anymore with out someone totally going off on them about the inappropriateness of the joke and making someone feel crappy for trying to lighten some peoples moods what the heck else do we have.

i know i am going to get flamed for this but wow nurses/people (not all) will really pick anything apart shesh it was a joke nothing more it wasn't meant to be serious or to hurt someones feelings a joke is just a joke.

wow i wouldn't expect everyone to laugh at this joke but seriously wow i wouldn't have expected your response. i don't think anyone was lecturing you to lighten up more so i took it as relax its just a joke. man if people cant tell a joke anymore with out someone totally going off on them about the inappropriateness of the joke and making someone feel crappy for trying to lighten some peoples moods what the heck else do we have.

i know i am going to get flamed for this but wow nurses/people (not all) will really pick anything apart shesh it was a joke nothing more it wasn't meant to be serious or to hurt someones feelings a joke is just a joke.

i've noticed this also especially on this forum. why do nurses feel the need to get sour over minor things and then actually refuse to chill out when people say they're over-reacting? geez guys, if you're stressed out or having a bad day thats fine but at least acknowledge when you're being cranky!

I thought the OP was funny - I'm an old nurse, and I'm not offended.;)

I love new nurses, because they are fresh from school and still remember everything - I love teaching them 'the tricks of the trade' because they're receptive and excited to learn new thiings.

I love the old nurses, because they've been thru the trenches, and survived to tell about it.

I don't think posts like the OP are meant to be taken so literally.

I'm a new grad nurse and I laughed really hard at this.....thanks for brightening my morning!

Specializes in MR Peds, geris, psych, DON,ADON,SSD.

I thought this was for fun AND funny. I remember the grad nurse days (22 years ago) and this is absolutely correct and there isnt a nurse out there who can't say there are at least a few of the "experienced nurse" items were humorous and have even done yourself. this was not meant to get anyone's panties in a bunch. everyone who is a nurse or wants to be a nurse should certainly know nurses are not uncaring and lazy.

Specializes in Med-Surg.
wow i wouldn't expect everyone to laugh at this joke but seriously wow i wouldn't have expected your response. i don't think anyone was lecturing you to lighten up more so i took it as relax its just a joke. man if people cant tell a joke anymore with out someone totally going off on them about the inappropriateness of the joke and making someone feel crappy for trying to lighten some peoples moods what the heck else do we have.

i know i am going to get flamed for this but wow nurses/people (not all) will really pick anything apart shesh it was a joke nothing more it wasn't meant to be serious or to hurt someones feelings a joke is just a joke.

first of all, i'm not going to flame you. i respect your opinion.

second of all, i don't think either myself or any other post in this thread qualifies for "totally going off".

third, if you read my posts you'll find that i liked the joke.

fourth, if i don't think a joke funny i don't need to be told to "relax it's only a joke". i need to be respected.

i can appreciate the intent of someone who tells a joke: to poke fun at, to lighten the mood, to be funny, and the last thing they need to hear is the listener is insulted. however, if the person hears that their joke is insulting, rather than shove it down their throat with a "relax it's only a joke", perhaps an "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend" would be more in order.

people who presume i'm straight will tell me queer jokes and i'm supposed to relax and realize it's only a joke? people think because i'm white and american i want to hear racist/nationalist jokes about mexicans and blacks?

sorry, i'm not buying into someone elses definition of humor.

granted i'm going way off on a tangent here, as the original poster did indeed make a funny joke. but those who didn't laugh and were indeed offended need to be respected and not told to "relax....it's a sad day when people can't tell a joke......."

yes, every single joke, every single time in a huge forum with thousands of listeners/readers is going to offend someone. should the person not tell their joke? no, perhaps they should go ahead and tell their jokes, laugh and have a good time. humor is good for the soul. just don't expect everyone to laugh and respect those who don't.

sorry, i for the long post. i just feel i'm a bit misunderstood and climbed up on my soapbox for a while. ;) :lol2:

am i making any sense at all?

Specializes in Med-Surg.
I've noticed this also especially on this forum. Why do nurses feel the need to get sour over minor things and then actually refuse to chill out when people say they're over-reacting? Geez guys, if you're stressed out or having a bad day thats fine but at least acknowledge when you're being cranky!

I do sometimes think that people over-react and sometimes it's best to step back and chillout, but I have to allow people their lives and feelings without stifling their right to express themselves. I have to remember there are about 100,000 members on this board. So no matter what someone says someone is going to be offended, or at least react differently than I do.

That's a given in such a large forum, in such a large country/world of nurses. One size doesn't fit all, what you feel is a minor thing might not be so minor to someone in another part of the country who has lived an entirely different life, with different values and experiences than you. May a new grad who has done those things has been "eaten" and doesn't think it's funny. Who knows why people find things humerous and why some find things insulting. Respect.

I'd rather see the lone ranger tell their true feelings without fear than a follow-the-leader type of forum.

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