Got really put down by my supervisor today

jdub3 · Oct 2, 2009

I understand what some of you are saying. I know this is totally different situation as far as job in this hospital. Some of you just repeated the same thing my father told me yesterday when I got off work and called him. All I know to do is try to have a response for the things she wanted to see an improvement in... Which is what I already knew was what I would do.

What I don't understand is I feel like I need to change my attitude... I am always extrememly nice and courteous to all my coworkers and patients. I always take the extra step to keep everybody happy IMHO.... I know of on RN who gave me negative feedback that had treated me like I was a complete idiot when I was doing post cath cardiac exercise intervention. But, believe me this guy needs a hug BAAAAD..... But, he is a good RN and has alot of experience. I just feel like my manager has only received pecks of information from a few people and did give me some positive feedback of improvement from another senior RN.

Also, I have handled the whole team lately and only had the usual problems of getting choked at the end of the shift. See, I get positive compliments from other RN's but those have not surfaced. I have had more positive sheath removal than negative, "I had 2 small hematoma formation on some bounding pulses that completely massaged out.." On the flipside, I jumped in on a volley ball sized hematoma that was another nurses patient. Kept pressure and did my usuall friendly communication that I do WELL with geriatrics. I successfully encouraged the charge nurse to stop massaging and start calling the doctor and the OR, sheesh..... Successfully communicated "what I knew" information to the OR and the Cardiologist. The very next day I caught another bleeding #8 French on my patient during a scheduled pulse check. Same thing only this time the RN that let the woman the night before nearly bleed out decided to pull the sheath "making me look like she didn't trust me..." But, she had a scare the night before and I think she just wanted to do it...

So, as far as I can see only negative comments were solicited from senior staff. Not the situational life threatening positive stuff....

On a final note, what got me the most was being accused of sleeping in an orientation class. Ya'll remember a time when you have been accused of something you know you didn't do? Its an angry feeling! And, I am left with the challenge of "how people percieve me???" I am a nice guy and simply don't know what to do about this... I try to stay quiet rather than say something stupid.... I always ask questions before I do something I don't know how to do...

I know one thing for a fact, I WILL BE A GOOD NURSE, I have always succeeded in being very good at my previous jobs....

Thanks guys for the feedback.

ChristyRN2009 · Oct 2, 2009

I had a similar thing happen to me and I know a few nurses who had something similar happen over seemingly small stuff during orientation.

I don't want to say its a weeding out tactic but I think its just something some bad managers do to try to "baptize you by fire" so to speak. I don't even know if they do it conciously, just like I don't know if most nurses really eat their young conciously. As an example, I know a very good, thoughtful, caring nurse who purposefully assigned a new nurse a hard group because she thought the new nurse hadn't had a bad shift and acted like she knew everything. Of course, this would be considered a nurse eating their young but in reality, the older nurse was trying to help the new nurse. I hope this rambling makes sense. I guess what I'm basically trying to say is that many managers and nurses will put you through these kinds of trials to test your fortitude. Its sick but its a reality of our profession.

So in closing, here's my advice to you. Get as upset as you want to be about it, but leave it at the door and just try your best to correct the problems. For example, next time your boss gives you a paper to keep up with that she is supposed to keep up with too, make 6 copies of it. Give her two, keep two with your work papers and then keep two in your locker. Seriously. I had to do this with my copy of my license which kept magically getting lost by management. Keep your head down and your mind focused and you will be fine.

ChristyRN2009 · Oct 2, 2009

BTW, and don't hate me for this but I think based on your last post you are male? That will present (VERY UNFAIRLY) some problems for you in some work environments. Its a sad fact but a lot of female nurses out there just don't believe that men are as caring as they are and thus can't be good nurses. I'm just stating the truth here. So if you are a male, its not fair but you will probably be tested more than others, just be prepared and let it roll off you.

Orca, ADN, ASN, RN · Oct 2, 2009

I don't understand what is so criminally wrong about what your nurse manager did.
She didn't address these issues in front of anyone else, she arranged a private appointment with you to address her concerns about your progress. You are on orientation, you know. Orientation is supposed to be used as a time for being guided in the proper way to operate within the unit.
She didn't belittle you, as I read your post. What she said may be considered "rubbish" or "negative criticism" by other posters, but it could also be considered constructive criticism, something that everyone, not just orientees, needs to be able to handle. It is your manager's job to guide you.

It struck me the same way. It may be that this manager is simply trying to stress the importance of organization with you. Asking several people to trust to memory what you have done over a period of time so they can document it later is not a responsible approach, in my opinion. Losing important documentation (which by your own admission has happened more than once) is not a trait that I value in an employee either. That other people have done this does not make it any more acceptable.

In your post, you even admit to some of the issues that she raises....losing schedules, checklists, etc. As to your being perceived as 'cocky,' well I would be grateful to be informed early on that I was being perceived in a somewhat negative way. That way I could work on understanding how I come across in my communication with my peers and instructors.

There is a significant difference between saying someone is a certain way and saying that they come across a certain way. I almost always use the latter approach, unless it is something obvious that I have personally observed. If there is a perception problem among your peers, it would behoove you to find out what you are doing or saying that makes them feel the way they do. It is better to address potential problems early than to have them become fixed ideas that will make your working life more difficult.

I am in a management position, so I can identify with the issues that your manager is trying to address. Not being privy to the conversation I cannot say how she is presenting the information, but I can see the end goal pretty clearly. What kind of message would it send if everyone on the unit was misplacing important documentation and people had negative perceptions of one another and nothing was said or done about it? That wouldn't be a place where I would want to work.

I have taken something away from every conversation I have had with every manager I have worked under - even the ones I didn't agree with. Unless your manager has malicious intentions - and from what you have said, I don't believe so - I would take the suggestions to heart and act upon them. It is in your manager's best interest to help you, and to fix what she sees as things that need improvement before they become ingrained.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 2, 2009

i realize that some ppl will disagree with me, but i c no need for this type of negative criticism and to be quite honest, i'm not sure i'd want to work for or with ppl like this. for me, nursing is about team work. mayb they had bad days, still no excuse, mayb there's a personality issue, again, no excuse...mayb they c real potential in you and are cing how you handle pressure and criticism.

we're not texting here. it would be much easier to read if you would write out your response.

that said, i disagree with you. i think that the op should carefully consider the criticism rather than just blowing it off as negativism or invalid.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 2, 2009

i have been orienting on ciu and accu for around 12 weeks now. 2 weeks were in the classroom and 1 week in another classroom and 2 days in acls. well i passed my bcat the first pass, i didn't pass another test that forces you to critically think. since i had never been an rn it was hard to critically think by watching a video of somebody with symptoms, tell what i would do and what i would tell the physician. all in all i got most of the diagnosis right, i just thought into the questions too much. so long story short everybody takes it twice....
well, i got a notice to see the supervisors in the office today after my shift. the first supervisor told me she had real concerns that i wasn't taking her schedule seriously??? "i have only asked for one reprint of my 2 week schedule the first month which was lost in the mounds of orientation paperwork. i didn't miss any work and she simply printed off another sheet..." i also lost my evaluation checklist but had been telling all the senior rn's to remember that i did this or that so they could check me off... my supervisor also raised concerns about this... well, i happen to know another orientee that lost his and other rn's that were taken off orientation b/f ever completing it. my sheet isn't due until oct 30th and i now have another...
i was also told that i had dosed off in an orientation lecture "which i was floored, uhhh no??.." and also that i was percieved as being cocky in acls class? huh??? she went on to say that i had some real organizational skills issues... "yes i know i have been trying to prioritize better but never put patients safety in jeopardy!" one last thing, she said i don't ask enough questions. i always ask what i am doing and why!
so that gives me 9 weeks actually on the unit! i have been with this hospital for 6 years with a spotless record.
where the heck did this intervention come from and why???? did i need putting in my place? was that necessary?
oh, to top off the cake if i don't pass my next test "which nobody fails ;>)" she said she "at this point" doesn't know if she has enough from me to keep me on........ just wow....i have been trying so hard too....
sorry so lengthy....

i fail to see what your supervisor did so wrong. rather than call you out in front of your co-workers, she made an appointment to speak with you privately and listed (rather objectively, from your post) the things she preceives as problems and what is needed for improvement. it's a blessing that she did that early on rather than wait until your probationary period is up and then fire you because "you're just not working out." she's giving you a chance to improve and the information you need to do so. that's what managers are supposed to do.

suck it up, grow up, and try to take your supervisor's comments to heart.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 2, 2009

i realize that some ppl will disagree with me, but i c no need for this type of negative criticism and to be quite honest, i'm not sure i'd want to work for or with ppl like this. for me, nursing is about team work. mayb they had bad days, still no excuse, mayb there's a personality issue, again, no excuse...mayb they c real potential in you and are cing how you handle pressure and criticism.

i've delt with this kind of rubbish myself in the last few weeks. as a result, i get to do redo my last clinical placement. i think it's more a reflection of the corporate rubbish side of things than your actual ability to do the job. i think you pretty much have to suck up to these people rather than defend your actions, even if you're right. it's horrible that so many dysfunctional people exist in nursing, who would rather pick over you over a few tiny things rather than support you. good luck.

sad but true. believe me though..u will find many kind and caring nurses who "don't eat their young" and those ppl will far outweigh these idiots

wow.. i can't believe that management actually treats employees like this. i wonder which management training course they learned these skills in.
my first reaction would be to just quit and not put up with their behavior. but that would be really difficult to explain to your next employer. my advice is to show that you are trying to do what they ask and document everything. if they try to railroad you later, it would help your cause to have some proof that you were doing everything that was asked of you.
good luck

whether or not you feel you can salvage this by sucking up enough, you might want to take a good look at the handwriting on the wall and start a job search. that is what i would do in your situation.

to all of those posters who think that's it's just criminal that some "idiot supervisor" "ate her young" by trying to offer up some specific issues and constructive criticism in a timely fashion rather than just waiting until the end of probation and firing the guy, what is it that you think supervisors do? it's their job to evaluate new employees and how they're doing, and then to offer up constructive criticism on specific issues. it sounds like exactly what this supervisor did. i fail to see why it's perceived as such a terrible thing.

jdub3 · Oct 2, 2009

Maybe some of us are wrong and some are right?? I have decided not to let this bother me anymore, I will do what is required of me and yes I will suck it up. I'm already grown up and this thread is starting to make me want to throw up..... :jester: I didn't come here for sympathy and thanks for all the replies. I have set my goals high and will take this one in stride. I know exactly what was happening in that supervisors office now:cool:...

Please chill with the critisism of peoples spelling, I don't think that poster was targeting all supervisors and managers. JACHO is not here to analyze our abbreviations...

I will now conclude my interaction in this thread. I appreciate all your feedback "direct or indirect..." I do not like it when posters take shots at each other like this even though I have done it in the past, "politics..." The interaction here is starting to remind me of angry nurses sticking knives in each others backs.... Sad....

Zen123 · Oct 2, 2009

I firmly believe " What You put into this World , You get unto this world."

In this field we run into many people that often times make us roll our eyes and remember-

when Jesus was crucified at the cross and the crowd was busy throwing rocks at him.. look up to the heavens

and said "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing."

Take nothing personally. Wish those angry people well. Do your work. The Universe has a way of teaching all of us a lesson. And they too will get theirs.

Some days are hard, but I keep this in mind. Or try to.

roser13, ASN, RN · Oct 2, 2009

"The interaction here is starting to remind me of angry nurses sticking knives in each others backs.... Sad.... "

I agree. It can be viewed as 'sad' or nurses eating their young. It can also be viewed as elders teaching their young...

The spelling issue, in particular, can be controversial. The 'young-uns' feel that this way of communicating is the wave of the future. The 'elders' feel a responsibility to convey a method of communication that is authentic and sincere.

Personally, I'm an elder and I feel the need to encourage proper communication and discourage disentegration of the English language.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Oct 3, 2009

"The interaction here is starting to remind me of angry nurses sticking knives in each others backs.... Sad.... "
It can also be viewed as elders teaching their young...
Personally, I'm an elder and I feel the need to encourage proper communication and discourage disentegration of the English language.

Amen about the spelling issue. While no one expects perfect spelling or grammar, this is a professional nursing BB, not your cell phone/myspace page.

And I get tired of the old "nurses backstabbing" comments every time a new member of the profession has someone discussing their performance in less than glowing terms. I have seen/experienced as bad or worse in the business world.

GadgetRN71, ASN, RN · Oct 3, 2009

OP, I think a few different things are at play here..

-Management loves their paperwork..if they had their way, they'd have paperwork for everything. I think the suggestion to make several copies to keep in different locations is a good one. I had a manager once that was a real dingbat, lost everything. Making these copies is just CYA.

-Some managers like to test the new people and/or they figure that what was acceptable 20-30 years ago is fine now.(ie..eating the young, hazing).

-Take what was valuable out of this meeting(if anything:smokin:) and tune out the rest. I hate when managers use the "perception" thing. Usually, these "perceptions" are vague and they can't tell you where they came from. "Perception of your co-workers" is pretty much code for "we're not sure you fit into our clique yet and we're hoping you'll be intimidated by the fact that you're not winning our little personality contest". It also speaks to laziness on the part of your manager. Namely, that she/he can't be bothered to really find out anything about you, so they rely on your peers to do it. They'll find a new goat eventually, tough it out.

_I do believe that some nurses still have a problem with men in the field.

Document everything..so much of this job means having to protect yourself. Good luck!