Going out with your co-workers (Mixing Business with pleasure)

Everline · Mar 6, 2017

I've found that it depends on the workplace. I am not usually a person to go out with coworkers, but at my last job it was the thing to do. Everyone was in each other's personal business and talked openly about (what I would consider) extremely personal and intimate details of their lives. This was somewhat of a shock to me, as I had never experienced this. In order to "fit in" I had to manage to try to come out of my shell and go out with my coworkers and "have fun". After a while it really was fun and I grew to like them all very much. I never disclosed very personal info like others did, but I did share some stories and generally allowed myself to "be known".

In my new job, I'm pretty sure it will be very different. I am concentrating on work, being friendly and helpful with co-workers, but I probably will not be developing tight friendships or going out after work or on my days off. We'll see if my early assessment is correct.

aikz · Mar 6, 2017

I see nothing wrong with hanging out with coworkers outside of work. Like someone mentioned, just make sure you keep it "light and positive." It helps to get to know your coworkers on a more personal level and (for me at least) it improves teamwork. I've made long-lasting friendships from work!

Angry LPN · Mar 6, 2017

It has been my experience that everyone is too tired after 10-12 hours (supposed to be an 8 hour shift but no mortal person can get all that work done in 8 hours). Also, at least 3/4 of the staff were stressed out, angry, and always trying to dump their new admits, labs. treatments, physician's orders, etc off on someone else or the next shift. There was a lot of discontent, back stabbing, even hatefulness amongst the staff. When the facility hosted an x-mas party, they wanted everyone who was not on duty to attend so they could pretend they were being nice to us. We weren't joking when we said they'd likely write us up for something we did at the party when not on duty. I sure as hell didn't want to go into that torture chamber of a place on my free time and tried to stay away from the gossip, the in fighting, the constant stress and tension.

Swellz · Mar 6, 2017

My coworkers at my staff job went out together a lot. I think it is good or bad depending on the group. As my college and high school friends moved away, my friend group pretty much was my coworkers. It ended up being very hard for me to leave that job because it was so much more than just a job, which wasn't the best situation for me at that time. But when you work with so many amazing people it's hard not to make close friends!

datalore · Mar 6, 2017

I think it's appropriate on a group-by-group basis; my current work team does it well, but I've seen it crash and burn with other worksites. I go out for dinners when it's a large, all-people-were-invited work gathering and no problems in 2 years (yet? haha).

calivianya, BSN, RN · Mar 6, 2017

I wonder why so many people have work environments where getting to know your coworkers better results in disliking them more instead of liking them more?

I've found the opposite to be true. The more time I spend with individual coworkers, the better I know them - and usually, the better I like them.

I go out to breakfast after work with coworkers a lot, and occasionally go out to the movies, concerts, etc. with them. We all get along just fine.

ProperlySeasoned · Mar 7, 2017

If by "go out" you mean hang out, then go for it. If you are using "go out" as a synonym for dating, I would advise against that.

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Mar 7, 2017

As reflected by some PPs, if you become too involved with coworkers, it can potentially interfere with your work. For instance, what if you saw your good friend /coworker cutting corners or jeopardizing patient safety... it could really create a mess. If you react professionally, it could destroy a friendship but if you cover for her behavior, it jeopardizes your own professional status. I have worked in teams that were waaaay too social at work and it eroded any semblance of a professional atmosphere to such an extent that it was obvious to patients and their family members.

Friendly & supportive- check. Participate in celebrations of coworker or team accomplishments - check. After hours socializing - NOPE - not for me. I'm not blurring the personal vs. work boundaries.

Queen_of_Cardiology · Mar 9, 2017

Some of my closest friends I currently work with or have met through work. However I'm polite & friendly to all of my coworkers. Nursing is an incredibly stressful job with long unsocial hours, and whilst my boyfriend, family & friends who aren't nurses are empathetic to my moans about the politics and daily stress we endure, I find my nurse friends understand so much better.

kwadigirl · Mar 10, 2017

How unfortunate that you feel this way. I have worked on the same unit for over 15 years and every year we have organized parties. We rent out space, cater, bring in a DJ and party the evening away. We have groups who meet at each other's homes, another has a pool and every summer we have a pool night. Last year we lobbied the hospital to allocate space so we could be on campus so lots more could attend. It was a blast, some stopped in from work, others dressed up and brought their significant others. Let me tell you, most of us actually get along better and work well with each other on the unit. The entire hospital knows we are the happiest bunch around. Less call out, people hate to transfer, etc etc. The work is hard but we all say if it wasn't for the friendships we would all be looking for other jobs. Even when staff leaves, they stay in touch, come back to party with us when they can or we just meet up for lunch or dinner and bring back pictures and stories for the rest of the gang. I'm over 50 and one of the oldest and I feel honored that the younger nurses always want to hang out with me. We have both quit a few guys on the unit too and we are so culturally diverse you won't believe. We are so involved with each other's families that we all consider our unit a big family. I urge you guys to try it and see. This is the happiest place I've ever worked. We Know each other's spouses , children, family struggles just like a real family.NOBODY is judged, period. We have four expectant moms on the unit, and 2 weddings coming up. We are planning our showers already, from manager on down to the housekeeping crew. We love and support each other and with each new recruit we explain upfront "our ways" and they happily accept and join right in. Other units are trying to "copy" us and so far it's working for some. Recently, a nurse was terminally ill and nurses on that unit rallied to fund raise, took turns babysitting her son, going with her to the docs and when she passed, it was amazing how that unit came together.

I say all these to enlighten anyone that people you spend so much of your time with can become family if you choose and with family you work together to accomplish stuff, help each other and take care of each other's wellbeing. 12 hour shifts maybe hard but on our unit they go by fast because someone always has your back.

I've been reading this forum for ever but never felt so passionate about any topic like this. I hope you see the benefits of making work feel like an extension of your family. It's wonderful for us here on this unit somewhere in Baltimore. Cheers!

elijahvegas, ASN, RN, EMT-P · Mar 10, 2017

Well if you are genuinely interested in being friends with them then sure why not ?

For a while I kept a professional relationship with my classmates. Kept it simple with just eating lunch together and maybe grabbing a bite to vent about tests, occasional carpool. This was because I figured our relationship wouldn't maintain itself after we went our ways after graduation. They are 10 and 15 years older than me, 2nd careers, wife kids, we were world's apart.

Fast forward 3 years later and we still meet up for beers at least once a week, I know their entire families, and even had a Superbowl party with them.

It never hurts to have a crowd that knows exactly what you're going through, so I say go for it. And if you find that these are not your kind of people, distance yourself and be that person that always has an excuse for why you can't go out until they stop inviting you lol.

If it's a means to just be friendlier and more cordial with no real intent of forming a close bond just make it out like once a month to keep up relations.

ComeTogether, LPN · Mar 11, 2017

I think its fine and can be a lot of fun, just don't get too close or too friendly with anyone. It gets messy if the friendship becomes strained, It happened to me. We had a falling out and it made working together super awkward. Then I finished nursing school and was actually her supervisor - thaaaaat was also super awkward.

Hopefully you already know not to sleep with colleagues, THAT gets even messier!