God Took Another Angel Home Today!

[chase4myheart]

Tonight was my last night of clinicals and the saddest night that I have worked. Our instructor told us that a stillborn infant had been delivered in OB and told us that we needed to see it. The instructor felt this would help to prepare us for things that we would see later in our nursing career. It was a beautiful baby boy, and looked like a little angel. I felt so sorry for his parents. It hurts so bad to see something like this. It's sad when anyone dies, but at least with an older person you know that they have had a chance to live and experience life. It's hard to know what to say in situations like this, but I hope that I was able to help in some way. I know that we have to learn to accept things like this. It's when something like this doesn't break my heart, that I'll know that I'm not the nurse that my patient's need. I know that we have to have objectivity in nursing, but I don't want my heart to harden to where I never experience my patient's pain. Thanks for reading my post. It helps to come here and talk to everyone when we have days like this.

[SmilingBluEyes]

This is this worst part of being an OB Nurse, I know. I have seen too many fetal (and a few neonatal) deaths to count over the years I have worked labor/delivery. Let me tell you, it never gets "easy" to cope and nothing makes the pain less for you as a nurse. You DO learn, however (or are reminded) that death is as much a part of living as birth.

I agree that "viewing" is probably realistic, as long as it was respectful and tasteful, and not a display for the sole purpose of a learning experience. This was somebody's child, after all. We can never, ever tread too carefully in situations like this.

[gitterbug]

Not our will but HIS will be done. It never gets easy, everyone is someone special to someone else, but a child is so special that death haunts the heart. You will be a kind and caring nurse, YOU understand that when death become routine, we need to consider another field besides nursing. I hope the parents of this beautiful baby boy are remember in prayer. Have a blessed day and I hope you have a ray of sunshine and hope in your life today.

[danissa, LPN, LVN]

...... It's hard to know what to say in situations like this, but I hope that I was able to help in some way.

PLEASE tell us that your instructor did NOT take you students into the room with the parents and their stillborn infant? OMG, the thought of spectators........:angryfire

[Indy, LPN, LVN]

When I was a phlebotomist, a long time ago, I picked up samples throughout the small hospital on nights. Poo, sputum, they didn't have couriers. If the staff wasn't busy they might bring me something but usually I picked it up.

It was interesting to pick up the bucket o' placenta that had to go to pathology, and I really don't remember what they wanted with it but ... okay. It was mildly revolting to hear the techs discussing use of placenta in the rosebushes at home after the path was finished on them. Eew!

It was appalling to pick up the stillborn, for transport to pathology, and I told the nurse at that time that I don't think the mother appreciated me doing that. Again, I don't know why it was suddenly my job to go get her infant, but I did my job and all I could bring myself to say was "I'm sorry." Good gravy. It occurred to me later that maybe the nurse was new and overwhelmed herself. The whole experience was surreal. It sure ain't like picking up poo in a cup, or sticking someone, or anything else for that matter. There's no comparison. Having dealt with some eldely folks dying, and doing their PM care, I can say there's still a wide gap between the folks that have lived their life, and how their families handle it, and those that never started.

Which is why I don't think, I can't fathom, any nursing instructor having students look at a stillborn child while in the room with his/her parents. That is not the time. The time is after the parents have had their time.

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

I am so very sorry for these parents' loss. At least (so far no one here has used the term fetal demise). This is a very trying time for the mom and dad, and I hope all was done to assure them that baby was respected and handled with care.

[TrudyRN]

I think its a little odd that your instructor asked you to "view" this baby like he was there for your benefit. Unless you were involved in the delivery, its a little nervy of her to even consider it. There will be other chances for you to see things to prepare you for real nursing. I just dont think it was appropriate.

I am in no way saying *you* did anything wrong, or your feelings are innapropriate in any way. Please dont take this the wrong way. I am not "attacking" you. Again, I just think this was out of line for this instructor to ask/tell you to do this. Tacky. Nervy. Innappropriate.

I understand where you're coming from but disagree. I think the Instructor did a good thing. These students had a chance to do what I did not "get" to do for over 20 years as an RN - deal with a still birth. I think they were given an invaluable experience, one that cannot be orchestrated with dolls.

As long as the Instructor kept it respectful and the group did not interfere with the family, staff, clergy, etc., I vote for how it was handled.

[CaLLaCoDe, BSN, RN]

Your pain is valid. Feel the pain and that knowing of that pain will deter you from ever hardening your heart. Some things in our field can never be explained away or given a rational. God bless his little soul is resting in your compassionate loving thoughts.