God Took Another Angel Home Today!

[chase4myheart]

Tonight was my last night of clinicals and the saddest night that I have worked. Our instructor told us that a stillborn infant had been delivered in OB and told us that we needed to see it. The instructor felt this would help to prepare us for things that we would see later in our nursing career. It was a beautiful baby boy, and looked like a little angel. I felt so sorry for his parents. It hurts so bad to see something like this. It's sad when anyone dies, but at least with an older person you know that they have had a chance to live and experience life. It's hard to know what to say in situations like this, but I hope that I was able to help in some way. I know that we have to learn to accept things like this. It's when something like this doesn't break my heart, that I'll know that I'm not the nurse that my patient's need. I know that we have to have objectivity in nursing, but I don't want my heart to harden to where I never experience my patient's pain. Thanks for reading my post. It helps to come here and talk to everyone when we have days like this.

[donsterRN, ASN, BSN]

Bless your heart; it does hurt, doesn't it? I hope you never lose the capacity to remember that. The neat thing is that experience will teach you ways to deal with the hurt, and to be therapeutic in your dealings with grief.

We learn something every day, don't we?

[momdebo, BSN, RN]

That is very, very sad. I think it takes special nurses to take care of peds and even in O.B. where you may have to deal with this very thing. Big reason why I stayed in adult medicine, adult ICU to be specific. Even when I would float to ER I prayed I wouldn't have to be part of anything kid related. I love kids and can't stand to see them hurt, etc. Sounds like you're going to make a great nurse.

[RNOTODAY, BSN, RN]

I think its a little odd that your instructor asked you to "view" this baby like he was there for your benefit. Unless you were involved in the delivery, its a little nervy of her to even consider it. There will be other chances for you to see things to prepare you for real nursing. I just dont think it was appropriate.

I am in no way saying *you* did anything wrong, or your feelings are innapropriate in any way. Please dont take this the wrong way. I am not "attacking" you. Again, I just think this was out of line for this instructor to ask/tell you to do this. Tacky. Nervy. Innappropriate.

[nhelkhound]

Loss is an intregal part of life. Some losses are harder to accept than others, and the loss of a child is especially heart-renching. There are no words to console upon such a loss. Sometimes just holding a hand can convey some spiritual support at such times. On a personal note, please send a loving thought to my friend M., whose daughter was my best girlfriend, as today is the 2nd anniversary of her death. I love you dear friend;see you again one day in the future.

[TazziRN, RN]

I have a problem with your instructor having you view the body, unless the parents gave permission......which is doubtful. HIPAA may not longer apply but what happened to sensitivity?

[allantiques4me]

Youre gonna be a wonderful,loving nurse.I believe thats what a great nurse should be.Compassionate and empathetic.I dont believe Youll lose that.What a horrible thing to have been through.Ive been in the medical field for almost 30 years and something like that would still cause me much distress.

[imenid37]

I have a problem with your instructor having you view the body, unless the parents gave permission......which is doubtful. HIPAA may not longer apply but what happened to sensitivity?

As long as the instructor was respectful to the baby interms of not objectifying the baby by treating him or talking about him as an object, I think it could be a good learning experience, especially in terms of developing sensitivity or appreciation of the loss parents go through. It can often be unnerving to see how these babies look when the have passed away before birth. Often these babies are very beautiful to the parents or we can emphasize traits or dress them so they will be. To grieve, the parents need to bond. They should, if they can and choose to do so, see the baby. Dealing with fetal and neonatal loss is an important aspect of OB nursing. It also makes it very real if the students see this esp. if it is shown to them in a dignified manner. This is a very pivotal moment in a family's life when they suffer this kind of loss. Nursing can be so important interms of support for the family. Gawking at a child who for example, had pronounced anomalies for shock value is horrible. Just as gawking at an adult trauma fatlity and making jokes, etc. is unacceptable. I think if it was handled well, it could have been a valuable and appropriate experience for the students. That is just my opinion. I can see how someone else may feel differently.

[jnj818]

So many people want to work in peds or OB because they love children, but this is exactly why I could never do it.

[Indy, LPN, LVN]

I'm going to take a leap and say that I think the viewing described can be done tastefully, with respect to all involved, and still be instructive to the students.

The OP didn't say when they viewed the baby. But if it's after the parents have had their time and the child is going to the morgue, then it's a good time for students to have a short look. The instructor's approach to this will make a difference, and I think the students probably all will understand that it's serious and act accordingly. If anything needed to be said to the mother I'd probably phrase it "while they take your child to the morgue, I'm going to allow my students to peek at his face for just a minute, if you don't mind. I need them to understand a little bit about what you are going through, and they won't touch him. Is that okay with you?" I think that would give the parents the right they normally have in the delivery room, with a live child, to allow or refuse students access.

When dealing with patients in extremis, there really is an understanding that you don't get other than hands-on care, and being there. It can be done with students, just have to be extra careful if you're dealing with peds or OB.

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

I'm going to take a leap and say that I think the viewing described can be done tastefully, with respect to all involved, and still be instructive to the students.

When dealing with patients in extremis, there really is an understanding that you don't get other than hands-on care, and being there. It can be done with students, just have to be extra careful if you're dealing with peds or OB.

:yeahthat:.....wise eloqent comment.

Leaning how to handle births and deaths.....and all that goes on between these milestones is important part of nursing education.

As students we were encouraged to view codes, participate in post-mortum care, accompany body to morgue and even attend autopsy if we desired. In LPN and BSN programs, faculty preped us to what we might see occur during these life moments. We were personal debriefed by instructor afterwards and at end of day encouraged to discuss the experience with our classmates at end of day wrap-up. Good and bad parts (along with rare appalling experience) discussed with differing ways to proceed next time bounced around by classmates/instructor.

I'd much rather see student being supported through this experience, than trying to handle first time situation as new grad without ANY support, as so often happens in hospitals, especially with staffing crunch.

[hawkfdc]

Provided that the viewing was done in a sensitive way, I have no problems with the instructor having the class view a stillborn infant. For no other reason than those aspiring nurses who want to work in OB because they "love the idea of being there at the beginning of a new life"....the polish needs to be taken off the "joy of giving birth" and students especially need to understand that, even is this age of hi-tech hospitals and medicine, there is still infant mortality and even complications for the mother. And that goes double for those students who've never had children. I remember when I gave birth to my 2 kids, the most stressful point of L/D was those 2 minutes when they were cleaning up the baby and doing the Apgar. You just never know.

When I was discussing my nursing future with my doctor, he suggested that I work on L/D. I said no way because I don't think I could emotionally handle a problematic pregnancy/labor/delivery.