My exam is this tuesday and the things that I've been feeling for the past few days has been excruciating torture. In fact, for the past several nights I wasn't able to sleep and would sometimes breakdown and cry (and I'm a guy for crying out loud...) for fear that I'm not ready to take this. I honestly don't feel confident enough to take this but I know that I have to stand up, face it and do my best or never at all.
What I've done to study for the past 2 and a half months is using Saunders 4e and strictly going through the questions at the back of each chapter, going back only to review what I've missed and read the rationales carefully. And I've been also using the NCLEX 4000, doing 75+ random questions a day and usually keeping my head above 70% sometimes peaking over the 80s. The CD that came with the Saunders book was also very helpfull, and I would often do 200 questions in exam mode and kept my head above 80%. :typing
And lastly, I used Kaplan's current NCLEX strategies book to better hone my test taking skills, did the 180 questions in the back of the book and scored 77% (it explained that if you've achieved over 70% of the content correct, you have a solid understanding of nursing content and critical thinking skills).
I had been so confident in my performance until recently when I purchased Kaplan's online Qbank a week ago. I've never seen such outlanding questions, so difficult. I had read that the ideal area to be is between 60-65% but after had just finishing over 1000 questions, my final tally had just barely made 60%. On a a few of the tests, my score would dip as low as 48%. Good lord...
Looking back, I think that I feel as if I hadn't done anything at all. I haven't really gone through any content in Saunders because I would only need to if I've scored poorly in the practice tests. All I've dont were relegiously doing hundreds of practice questions a week like I was advised by my parents (both nurses).
And only a few days ago I realized how poor my pharmacology was. I know the common ones for each medical condition, therapeutic levels, teaching, effects, etc, but I know its not going to be enough because from what I've read, the NCLEX can use any of the millions that I still don't know.
No ammount of words can describe how I feel right now. Its like waiting for the death sentence to be carried out. I'm honestly crying right now as I write this, confused, scared and anticipating failure.
I'm trying to pray to Him for courage and strength with the serenity to believe in myself, to feel capable of passing like I've used to before a few weeks ago. But its so difficult. Everyone I know and love believes in me, telling me that an intelligent young man like me should get through this gracefully but I can't bring myself to believe it.
God...give me the strength needed to get through these next few days and let not the morrow quiver my mind, heart and soul thereof.
:sniff::sniff:
Thank you for listening. And please pray for me. My name is Gene.
:sniff: