Giving a gift to a patient??

Specialties Ob/Gyn

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I work in L&D. We had a patient who had been in and out of our unit for 6wks. Her baby had a rare antibody and we had done 3 intra-uterine blood transfusions by the time she delivered. I had her on her first night in L&D, the night before her first blood transfusion. Which was a year (to the day) after she delivered a beautiful 36week stillborn baby boy. When I left that day I put my hands on her belly and we prayed together. Baby was kicking like crazy!

The last night I worked she was called in for decreased FM. She showed up and baby was in the 50's. I was able to run into her run quickly and give her a big hug and tell her I was praying for them, before the stat c/s. The unit was crazy that night so I didn't make it over to check on the baby.

Anyway...I always called him "little monkey". So today I was shopping and in the window of Build-a-Bear was a monkey. So I made him a monkey and dressed him up in a firefighter outfit because his daddy just finished with fire school. I was going to leave it in the NICU for him. Question is....is that weird? Is there some sort of unspoken rule about not giving gifts to patients? I don't ever do that but I feel like I've really bonded with this family. I will never forget them and their stories...I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't wierd!

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I'm still a student and I'm not sure of the proper nursing etiquette, but as a person, I would be very greatful. I'm sure this mother will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Many years from now, she will tell her son the story of the nurse who called him little monkey and made a gift for him at Build-A-Bear.

Please post an update with the child's status.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Oncology, telemetry/stepdown.

I'm still a student too, so I'm not sure if it's ok, but last year I had flowers sent to a patient who really had a big impact on me. I was worried that I would get in trouble so I just signed them "a friend". I love giving thoughtful gifts to people, but I can understand why some may consider it inappropriate (showing nepotism, not maintaining a professional relationship, etc...). Hopefully some active nurses will give feedback..I've wondered about this too:)

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Specializes in med-surg.

My first year of nursing school, I had a patient with a rare condition that had turned into skin and bones. She wasn't that much younger than I was (I was 38) and she broke my heart. She had never been away from her mom, never been to school past the 10th grade, never been to college.

Patients usually don't bother me, but she did. I kept seeing her mother patiently rearranging pillows so that the joints of her shrinking body did not rub together. I remembered how her mom said she loved dogs, but could not have one because they might hurt her.

So I tore up the town looking for something perfect. And I found a soft, washable dog at Babys-R-Us that was almost pillow sized. Perfect for her to wrap her arms around and keep her elbows from rubbing on eachother. I took it into clinical the next day and showed it to my clinical instructor and explained my reasoning. I also told her that every woman deserved to have a best friend. She teased me for the rest of the semester about that dog, but it filtered back from other professors of how proud she was of me.

One of the aides told me that the doc's tried taking the dog away from her to do a neuro exam. They got more of neuro response than they were expecting!

Do what is in your heart. That is what will help your patients!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, ER.
Is there some sort of unspoken rule about not giving gifts to patients? I don't ever do that but I feel like I've really bonded with this family. I will never forget them and their stories...I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't wierd!

I think what you did was incredibly thoughtful and kind. I see no ethical problems whatsoever with getting something for a patient if it will be therapeutic to them or to the family. (Obviously, gifts given for the purpose of personally influencing a patient are a no-no, but that's not the discussion here.) We've bought gifts from our gift store for people who end up in the ER with serious conditions on their birthday, for anniversaries, or just because they needed something. In fact, we keep a large box with stuffed animals and toys just for this purpose. The local state prison inmates sent us a box of the most beautiful wooden toys they made in the wood shop with a note that said that we should give them to whoever needs them, so we used those for a long time.

You're a compassionate nurse, and not at all weird. Well, at least not about this. I don't know about anything else. :wink2:

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Specializes in Day Surgery, Agency, Cath Lab, LTC/Psych.

I think what you did was very sweet. I think that gesture would give great comfort to the mom in that situation. :heartbeat

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Specializes in MICU, SICU, PACU, Travel nursing.

I think it sounds very thoughtful of you. I know that our unit has gotten together and given out small gifts to some long time patients with no family on Christmas in our unit before. Oh and one time I took care of a severe anorexic woman a few nights in a row and she loved creme savers. I stopped on my way in and bought her a few kinds. I never though about if it was "proper" or not. I think in certain situations giving gifts to patients could be considered improper. But it doesnt sound like it in your case.

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Specializes in Emergency Dept.

6 years ago I was in the hospital and having a VERY difficult time. I do not remember if this compassionate young lady was a nurse, social worker or what her position was - but she listened to me cry about everything going on, not to mention that I couldn't see my precious dog while I was in the hospital. When I came back to my room later that day - I had an adorable beenie baby dog and a very sweet card from this individual. I can tell you she is the only person I remember for that long hospitalization and you have no idea how much that gesture meant to me. I think you are doing a wonderful thing for that family.

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Specializes in Postpartum, Lactation.

I still treasure the small bear with an American Flag on his sweater that my son's NICU nurse gave him on his first Independence Day-the same day they dc'd his chest tube :)

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If you are worried your superiors will find this weird or inappropriate, ask the mother to take a walk with you on your break and give it to her while you are off the unit. That way it is less a nurse giving a gift and more a friend. Also when she starts crying (which I'm sure she will as this is a touching gesture) you can cry with her and it won't be in your professional setting.

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

I have given things to patients before, nothing big or extraordinary but an I'm-thinking-of-you sort of thing.

Most recently it was an antepartum pt we'd had for 9 weeks and she and I bonded. So I brought her a little outfit for her baby....didn't really worry about it.

I think you are fine. She no doubt appreciates your care. :)

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Check your Policy and Procedure Manual. There could very well be a prohibition against gifting patients. If any doubt, don't. Or at least get permission from your Manager.

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