Girlfriend becoming a nurse - Advice

Diaper, RN · Jul 21, 2009

That's so sweet of you. I'm a RN and my bf is an engineer. Everyday when I come home, I tell him all the stories about what happened in the hospital. He's actually fascinated with my stories.

Right now, I also worked as a volunteer at PSA (Pennisula stroke association) and educate the public about stroke and I dragged my bf to come along too. His title is 'computer technician', basically he has to fix the powerpoint presentation and he enjoys it :)

Few weeks ago, I also dragged him to work as a volunteer in a charity event. My role's to provide medical assistance to the bikers and he also helped others to set up the tent and so forth. It's actually pretty fun doing volunteer work together.

I suggest that you looked into http://www.volunteermatch.org/ there're so many interesting volunteer work such as being a 'community presenter' at the American Red Cross, 'health events voluntneer'at the Peninsula Stroke Association, 'facilitator at a support group'...etc. After you signed up, they usually email/call you within few days and give you an interview. Then they'll give you some trainings regarding to the program. It's fun and meaningful !

Good luck :)

llg, PhD, RN · Jul 21, 2009

I think the volunteering is a good idea. You're not going to step in and do brain surgery ... but you will see things and begin to get a sense of the envionment. You'd be surprised at how much you will gain -- and you will be helping people at the same time!

She won't need you to be an expert in health care. She won't expect you to solve all her problems for her. She just need you to be there for her and to listen and to accept her even when she is stressed out and not so pleasant to be around.

Couples have different careers all the time. Not every couple has the same type of job. But somehow, relationships survive. Yours can, too. It sounds like you really care for her and are willing to make an effort. That will give you a great advantage.

Good luck to the both of you.

RNMeg · Jul 21, 2009

I think it's great that you're looking to be so open-minded about the struggles your girlfriend will face :) My husband is a member service rep for a credit union, so he's in a similar predicament to yours. He's been incredibly supportive throughout nursing school. Even though he may not understand everything I tell him, he's really good at just listening, and offering back rubs and foot rubs if it's been a particularly bad day. On days when I'd rather just cry than explain what's going on, he's been there to rub my back and hand me tissues. Also, if your girlfriend is like me, she'll enjoy helping you understand what her world is like..in fact, I've found explaining disease processes and treatments to my husband helps cement the material in my memory better Just be there for her, the way you have been all along, and you'll do fine. The fact that you're concerned about it puts you leaps and bounds ahead of a lot of significant others I've heard about on here :redbeathe And, if your girlfriend does want to discuss what's going on with someone else, don't take it personally. Sometimes it's true that other nurses or students are the only ones who can really, truly empathize, and that's okay.

JustEnuff2BDangerous, BSN, RN · Jul 21, 2009

My husband works at a bank as well, but that doesn't stop me from coming home and telling him stories about my day.. He may give me a few blank/confused looks, but he listens and supports me, and that's what really matters. :) Nurses can only relate to other nurses, but that doesn't mean that we shut everyone else out... As long as you show interest in what we're saying, we're gonna tell you more than you probably ever wanted to know about our day. If you don't understand all the jargon or how things work, just ask her; I'm guessing she'll be more than happy to explain. She's not just a nurse, she's a girl, and we don't ask for much sometimes, just for you to show interest in what we're saying.

cardiacmadeline, RN · Jul 21, 2009

You seem like a very supportive boyfriend. I think for most nursing students, and nurses for that matter, it is comforting to know that you have somebody home at the end of the day to listen to you and that supports you. If you can offer her that, I think that would be good. However, she is still going to need the support of her nursing peers, because there are some things about nursing that only other nurses can understand. My husband is not in the medical field, but when I come home at night and need to vent, I will and he listens (sometimes reluctantly!) and I feel better just getting it off my chest. However, the next day I may go to work and discuss the issue with my coworkers because they understand the nursing aspect of it. But, I am still thankful my husband is willing to listen to me. So, what I am saying is this-be supportive, willing to listen and understand she is still going to need the support of her nursing peers.

ChocoholicRN · Jul 21, 2009

My fiancee is in the same boat as you, I am a nurse and he is an IT tech who does computer work all day. In no way can he relate to what I do, and vice versa, I can't relate to what he does. But we still talk to each other about our day. I don't go into the details and medical terminology, but enough to let him know what I did that day or why I had a rough day. If I decide to go into detail I just explain things in a way that any non-medical person would understand. It's the same thing as if you were to tell her about your day, she doesn't understand everything you do at work either. And if she starts rambling on and you don't understand what she's talking about, stop and ask her to explain. Not only will it help you understand more of what she does, but it will show her that you're interested too. Best of luck!!

rn/writer, RN · Jul 21, 2009

If you're just trying to be supportive, good for you. Nursing is a challenging field that has some truly crazy-making aspects to it, and it's nice to know you have someone you love in your corner. I really have needed that kind of commitment from my husband over the years and have tried to give him the same.

But here is a caution learned from experience. My husband went through a period of insecurity, worrying that when I had a valuable degree and a career, maybe I wouldn't need him so much. He became kind of smothering and even a little controlling. His "closeness" looked like support, but after a while, it felt worse and worse. I finally had to say something, and we endured a short but intense ugly time of things until we figured out what was going on.

He wanted to be my "everything" so he wouldn't lose me. I felt suffocated, and resentful that I was being pretty much forced to be open, available and grateful all the time.

Eventually, he decided to trust me to love him by choice rather than pressure, and it made a big difference in our relationship.

My advice? Let her tell you what she needs from you and how much she wants you to learn about her world. Watch some of the medical shows and learn the basics. My husband actually joined me as an EMT which was a small miracle considering he thought he would pass out at the sight of blood. We had some good times with our fire department for about ten years.

On the flip side, be ready to take her away from her work world and offer diversion like no one else can. Don't minimize her stress or downplay it. Just remind her that there is nothing like a good foot rub, a gooey pizza and a movie to restore her perspective. Sometimes, all it takes is a good long hug.

Only you know what's behind your desire to enter her nursing world. If it's all good, you'll do just fine. If there are any flies in the ointment, deal with them so you can give freely and not out of insecurity.

The best to you both.

leslie :-D · Jul 21, 2009

legion, you are a gem!

i cannot add to what the others have advised, it's all great input.

it's all about flourishing in the good times, and enduring through the challenges.

you are totally 'there' for ea other.

at this time, you will be there more for her.

but there will be another time that she'll be there for you.

in a healthy relationship, it all balances out.

so roll up your sleeves...

and show her you are ready, and willing to 'get to work'.

in the end, it's a win-win.

wishing you both, the very best of everything.:balloons:

leslie

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN · Jul 21, 2009

What a great attitude! My husband works in a different occupation and I've been married 23 years. Love him, and he still has NO CLUE what it is I go through. He can't. He's not a nurse.

But....doesn't mean he can't sit and listen to my venting, occasional crying, and happiness over the stupidest things--that only make sense to a nurse. He's there for me and that is the best thing.

I love him =)

Otessa, BSN, RN · Jul 21, 2009

I have been a nurse for 17 years and hubby is a pilot-we understand the basics in life-good and bad. That is what happens in a hospital setting or bank setting. Just be human with her-you don't need to 'live' it to be understanding.

otessa

Ayvah, RN · Jul 21, 2009

My husband works in IT, and he's amazing. He doesn't fully understand what I go through, (no one outside of healthcare can) but he tries. He's always there to listen and give hugs. I know only another nurse will fully understand what I go through as only they have lived it, but I wouldn't trade my husband for anything. He's my rock and supports me unconditionally.

You seem to really care about your GF. I hope she knows she's got a good catch!