My girlfriend will be starting nursing school in September. I'm very happy for her but there is one thing that concerns me a little. I work at a bank office. I sit in front of a computer all day. She is going to see and be exposed to things in her job that I will have essentially no experience with.
I've told her already that no matter how terrible a day she has I want her to know she can always talk to me about it. However, I've read here on the forums and in a few other places/books that a lot of nurses feel they can only be understood by other nurses.
I just don't want my girlfriend to feel like I can't understand what she's going through and that she has to talk to someone else. I've been trying to think of a way that I could experience on a smaller degree some of the same things she will. I called a local hospital to ask about volunteering but it looks like the closest I can get is "fetching books and magazines for patients."
Any suggestions?
P.S. I'm normally not such a wuss, but I've fallen pretty hard for her and I don't want her to become cold or shut down.
You know even if you are a non medical person you can still be there for her. In my experience going out with a medical person isn't always the best idea. I remember some days I would go home and not want anything to do with anything medical. yet he would be there talking about his day. (he is a nurse too) Sometimes I just want someone to hear me out not tell how I could have done better. (Which he really loved to do. ugh) If I wanted that I would have jumped on here.
She is going to go through some changes. For a while you might not even see her. She is going to get really really busy and you have to understand that. Don't be clingy. Because if she is anything like me or my friends, you get to the point were you hate people and just need space. Its the worst, needing space and have someone you care about be annoying by always demanding to be with you. Not fun. My friends husband was so awesome during nursing school. I remember once she was really really stressed and she was like leave me the f' alone! and he did, he sent her flowers with a I love you card and left her alone. She said for a while, he wouldn't ask anything about school, but if she came home crying he would be there with open arms. Oh how I hated her. LOL I was dumped for spending too much time studying and not enough time with him. He was a loser anyways. Don't be that guy. Be like my friends husband, caring and understanding and willing to put up with nurses (that sometimes can be bipolar.)
Legion, I think another way you can try connect to the serious emotional impact of nursing is to take a Red Cross or AHA CPR and First Aid course. Those skills are important for any citizen to know and may give you just a glimpse into the emotional side of your GF's future. Pay close attention to the gut feelings you will have (hopefully) of how serious and stressful it is to have the responsibility of someone's life depending on your thoughts and actions. You already know how the challenges of coworkers and bosses. Now combine the two stresses and you will better understand Nurse's stress.
The stress of nursing school is another issue here. There are few other college courses quite as intense and fast paced as nursing school. So much information must be learned, processed and applied in so short a time. There will be hours and hours of studying, frustration, skills practice, ranting and hopefully some joy and enthusiasm too.
So be there to toss the laundry in and iron the scrubs when she's up to her nose in textbooks and care plans. Stick some snacks in her backpack because you know she'll not have time to eat right. Let her practice banding you up or being a model for her physical assessment practice. (that could be fun too !) Take her for a walk and an ice cream when she's reached her breaking point. Bring over dinner once in a while, and most of all have patience.
I think that just being open minded and listening to what your girlfriend has to say about her day is helpful...but very sweet that you want to get involved with volunteering!
I'm a RN in geriatric rehab and my boyfriend is a high school teacher. We're always trading stories about our jobs. He's been super supportive through the ups and downs of my first year as a nurse. Sometimes you don't need someone to understand, as much as you just need them to listen.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
It is nice of you to want to share her world. During school, she may be anxious, frustrated and tired and then, as a new grad, she may be just plain scared. Even if you don't volunteer, just listen as much as you can.
Keep in mind, also, however, that you are human and have needs as well. There may be times that you are so wrapped up in your own situation that you may not always have the kind, understanding ear that she may need any more than she may have for yours. Share this site with her, be there and let nature take the rest.
My husband works at my job but does not work in nursing at all. We work alternate shifts...he works evenings and alternate weekends, I work days Monday-Friday, weekends and holidays off (surprizing for a nurse). We do spend valuable time together and have interesting stories to share because we have space from each other. This may be another issue as well, with her working as a nurse. Most new grads have unattractive hours...nights, evenings, weekends, holidays. That is enough for anyone to pitch a boogie. Be used to possibly having to attend things without her at times, or have to leave early because she has to be at work. Again, it is very sweet and admirable to want to learn more!
i totally agree w/ boggle's last paragraph. my new boyfriend of last semester would say things like:
"can i see you tomorrow, that is if you can make time for me."
"nursing school is not that hard."
"i can read over this information and get an a."
"are you done yet with your homework?"
"when will u graduate, that is if u pass your classes."
comments like these are horrible to make. he just turned 20 so it was either his personality/immaturity or both. i was so furious & didn't know where to vent. i would never really get much encouragement from him at all - oh yea except when i started to fail my exams then he was like, "i believe in u" it's like yea...thanks.
please be nice to her, seriously. if u test her over material & she gets it right, say things like, "good job sweetie, i know u can do it, i believe in u, wow you're smart." another great thing is be romantic unexpectedly - especially if she is studying hours on end, pick her up out of her chair take her to the living room/outside & have a small picnic.
Don't be that guy. Be like my friends husband, caring and understanding and willing to put up with nurses (that sometimes can be bipolar.
Snwbdr
198 Posts
if she asks to practice inserting a foley or cath on you, say NO!