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Discussion

Getting upset at work

So... last night was one of the most horrendous nights I've had ever. (I've only been a nurse for 5 years so I know that doesn't sound like much but... to me it was.) Coupled with some personal life stressors that have been bad this week. At one point 3 of my 4 patients all had very serious issues going on that all needed to be addressed immediately; the doctor caring for 2 of them was pretty unimpressed and just wanted to "watch them"; and after doing all I could to stabilize them for the moment I had a mini breakdown. I grabbed the charge nurse who is a friend of mine and pulled her into the med room, and I couldn't even say much of anything, I was just like "I can't do this, I can't I can't" and she kept offering me help with specific things, and I just got completely overwhelmed. I had to step off the floor for a few minutes (the float nurse watched my patients) to calm down.

I've gotten upset or distressed at work before but it's never been that bad. I know several other people saw me looking teary eyed/upset including some of the unit's most notorious gossips. I'm so embarrassed; I'm known by most people there for being pretty level headed and taking things as they come most of the time at work, not letting anything get to me (at least appearing that way); and I hate that so many people saw me like this. I'm sure that I have eroded their trust in me as a good nurse and now I look weak and foolish for getting so overwhelmed and upset. I do think it was a wake-up call for me to seek some professional help maybe, or do something different, because that CAN'T happen again, no matter how stressed/depressed I am on the inside. Has anything similar to this happened to anyone else and how did it go for you at work afterwards?

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    So sorry that happened. . . it can happen to any of us. The last thing you need to worry about is being embarassed or what the gossips think of you. The people who really know you aren't going to have their opinion of you as a nurse changed by this incident, and worrying about the rest will just sap energy and stress you out more than you are already.

    Sometimes a really bad shift is what I call the "perfect storm" of crap and no human being could have handled it any better. Yes, I've had them, and I remember them in all their nightmarish horror. What I did not do, you did, and that is to ask for help!! I actually left a job I really liked in large part because I thought I could or should handle everything, and it all blew up in my face. I never complained and never asked for help. Both, in retrospect, were huge mistakes. I've gone over it in my mind thousands of times.

    We must take care of ourselves first. I don't know about you, but usually a crisis is preceded my little red flags and warning beeps that I probably should have paid attention to before something becomes a crisis or spirals out of control. Do you think maybe you tried to soldier through things because you thought you had to be strong and in control at all times? I know I did.

    You need to take some deep breaths and realize nothing is so terribly awful that it can't be fixed, you now have the chance to look back and figure out some strategies to ease the personal and professional pressure you are feeling, hang around with your true friends and let the others go.

    If you feel professional help may be of value, it can only help, IMO. You will be fine, I know it. You are so lucky to have a charge nurse who responded by asking you over and over what specific things she could help you with your patients instead of so many who react in a hostile manner!! What a gem she was!! I do hope things get better. You sound like a super nurse who just had a really bad night. (((perfectbluebuildings))) :redpinkhe

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    It is OK we are all only human...it has happened to any nurse that has been around for awhile. Much is expected of us and most of the time we deliver but every once in awhile it all gets to us. I have trained myself over the years to "get in the zone" as I call it...so no matter what is happening in my personal life I can instantly re-focus myself and get to it. I remember a few yrs ago I sold my rental home and found out I owed the feds over 10,000 dollars and then had to put a PICC in a very ill pt in MICU. I was actually in the unit when I got the call...did I get that PICC in...YES I did ...I was in the zone. I say see if your employer has an EAP program and make an appt...it can never hurt to learn coping strategies and get some direction from a professional...lets face it ..NURSING is a demanding..stressful..and sometimes just plain old exhausting

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    It happened, you got over it. The next step now is to handle your colleagues,( depending on how they are). Put on a bold front and get back to work. Remember, it happened and you got over it- no explanations are necessary at this point, because no harm was done.

    It happened and you got over it!

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    We must take care of ourselves first. I don't know about you, but usually a crisis is preceded my little red flags and warning beeps that I probably should have paid attention to before something becomes a crisis or spirals out of control. Do you think maybe you tried to soldier through things because you thought you had to be strong and in control at all times? I know I did.>

    Nursel56, Your post quoted above really struck a nerve with me because this is exactly what I experienced in the past. I was always the one to "soldier up", not complain, not make waves, never say no, never ask for help, take everything on myself. Yes, I ignored the red flags and warnings too. I never learned to take care of myself and it eventually blew up in my face as well. I left nursing after 28 years. :crying2:

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    Seasonednurse78- You had a full career and I'm sure blessed many people along the way, so I hope you don't let the reason you left color your memory of the entire 28 years! In the workplace I definately had the thought that if an assignment was given to me and I couldn't handle it, it wasn't the assignment or the inexperienced/ineffective management that was the problem, it was me! !

    I still struggle with being assertive with people face to face when they push too far. I try not to let things build up too long. My heart pounds but I force myself to do it. I do know myself well enough to say that there are certain roles I don't care to fill, and know that's just how I am "wired" and stop (usually:) ) obsessing about it. Best to you!

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    • Experts

    If you don't do anything else, take several days off from work and rest, I mean really rest. During this time off, seek the help of your physician. If you get flak from work for requesting time off, get your doctor to put you on medical leave for a week. You need a rest and a chance to see if there is something physical going on with you to contribute to your anxiety. Good luck.

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    Thank you all SO MUCH for your replies and insight. I was supposed to be on call the next night but they didn't really need me and took me off, luckily; and so I have five nights off from that night to recuperate. It was definitely one of those "perfect storm" nights and yes, I was so lucky in who was in charge that night- she is incredible. I am going to look into the EAP program and I think that may help, I have been thinking maybe I'm depressed for a while, and maybe I do need some extra help, which is very hard for me to admit.

    Once again, thank you each and every one so much for your replies- they reassured me and encouraged me and it means such a lot.

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    Girlfriend I have been a nurse for a long time and I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me and I can deal with stress pretty well. But I have had three occasions in my career where I had to take a leave of absence because the stress was so bad I just could not maintain my mental health. And I have had outbursts at work but I find they have decreased as I have gotten older. My mouth used to get me into a LOT of trouble. I did not cry much but I would have a temper outburst. It was horrible. I once threatened to flush the doctors head down the toilet (but he was mad too and had followed me into the bathroom... it was not pretty). So let up of yourself and if people want to gossip, let them do it. And remember, when people are not talking about you, it means your boring so give them something to talk about.

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    Oh bless you, I don't think a single nurse reading this will not recognise how you felt, and feel for you.

    I work with some nurses that I know at some point during a series of shifts will have a big wobble, I will find them in tears give them a quick hug help them out, then crisis over. That's just how they are.

    But I also work with level headed nurses who deal with whatever is thrown at them calmly and efficiently and nothing seems to get to them. When these nurses wobble (and they all do) then I treat it much more seriously. These nurses don't tend to make a fuss and if they are upset it is generally because there is a very valid reason.

    Have a quick look at what is really going on, was it just the culmination of a rough shift and pressure at home or is there more. If work is getting to you generally then there is nothing wrong at all with taking time out and seeking help.

    Don't spend a moment fretting about the gossips I can guarantee that they will have been in this position countless times themselves.

    And lastly be gentle with yourself. You sound like just the sort of nurse I would want working in my department and bet your manager's feel the same :)

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    I have had a few meltdowns at work, also, all of them during times of extreme personal stress. Last year was the worst. I'd a school nurse and I broke down in front of students and staff. I had been depressed for weeks. I wasn't sleeping or eating well. Jumpy, having panic attacks left & right. Then one day it was too much. I had myself evaluated and was admitted to a psych hospital on suicide watch. And all this time, it never occured to me to seek out a psychiatrist or even call my family doctor :confused: Nurses make the worst patients.

    There is good news, however. I received treatment,meds, counseling and learned some tools for dealing with stress. Its been about a year now and I am happy with my life once more. I'm working at a job I love (a small neighborhood school) and I have a positive outlook on life. I haven't had suicidal thoughts in about 10 months, which is completely astonishing considering that I had entertained suicide on a near-daily basis for over 37 YEARS.:eek:

    I encourage you to seek professional treatment sooner rather than later. I wish I had sought appropriate treatment. Perhaps I could have avoided some very bad stuff if I had. You are overwhelmed now, but you don't have to stay there. Good luck :nurse:

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    Get some help. And a big hug.

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