Getting a Spouse's Support

Lovely_RN, MSN · Oct 10, 2006

I also want to go to 2 degree program for my BSN but the student loans are what is holding me back. I already owe 35k at 4% interest for my first degree. I would have to borrow roughly the same amount at 6.8% for a 2nd degree. I would have to pay $400+ and the $207 (graduated re-payment plan) that I pay for my current loan. It may not sound like a lot when you consider that I live in NYC and would be making 65k or better. However, when I think about saving for my children's college, our retirement, and paying off a mortgage things look different. What if I really hate nursing after a few years? Do I want to be locked into a career I hate because I can't make the same kind of money in another field and I have all of these loans to pay back?

I am still not 100% sure if the answer is no. It is just so depressing to me that I want to go back to school and I will likely have to take the super slow route at a City college because of the much cheaper tuition.

stpauligirl · Oct 10, 2006

I'd have to side with your husband. I'm against quitting work and going in debt while in school. Like mvanz9999 said don't forget the interest you will owe. I'd save the money to pay for my expenses before I quit my job but thats just me and I'm not big on having any debt.

I view a loan for school as an INVESTMENT. There is a difference between a loan for a Hummer or a college education.

aureliey · Oct 11, 2006

I live in NYC and I make over $60k now and it was my experience that between Manhattan rent, $20k in student loans, credit card bills, and basic necessities, it was sometimes hard to make it stretch especially when something unexpected comes up. (Like $400 to have my apartment fumagated when a new neighbor brought along all his roaches). And that's being single.
I work for plenty of attorneys right now who start at over $120k a year right out of law school and some of them really do struggle because their minimum payments on their law school loans are sometimes $200-$400 a month.
In the long run, it will be worth it, but her decision is going to effect her husband so I don't think it's fair to either of them for her to just cash everything in, take loans for everything and worry about it later. IMHO

I understand that it's expensive to live in NYC, but I live in north NJ just a few min next to the holland tunnel,and much cheaper rent. So do many of my classmates. I guess if one decides to live in NYC, it's much more expensive.

I also understand that it's tough to live on one income and take out loans for 1 yr to go to school. But the way I see it, many couples live on 1 income anyway, w/o going to school, since many women decide to stay home with their children at least first few yrs. Even people who aren't very wealthy do this, since these women prefer to tough it out financially and stay home and raise kids. Or if they weren't making that much money (like under $25K, and i know people who make that much with a BA degree) and they find out that daycare in a reputable place, transportation, etc will end up almost half or more of their salary..they decide to stay home.

Many people do sacrifices, and are able to get by. I think just taking 1 yr off work is not that much, and in the long run she will have more earning potential. Much more than some women who never went to college or had low incomes and became stay at home moms. Or even those who just gave up high incomes to be stay at home moms..over a few yrs all the money it costs to raise a child will have exceeded the cost of 1 yr of nursing school.

But of course, it's WORTH it to them, to stay home and pay all the expenses to raise a child or 2 with just 1 income (father's). It was a worthy sacrifice for them.

Same way it's worth it for some people to sacrifice 1 yr of living on 1 income and loans to get a nursing degree.

It may not work for everyone, but it has for many of my classmates, who mostly quit their jobs for 1 yr.

aureliey · Oct 11, 2006

I also want to go to 2 degree program for my BSN but the student loans are what is holding me back. I already owe 35k at 4% interest for my first degree. I would have to borrow roughly the same amount at 6.8% for a 2nd degree. I would have to pay $400+ and the $207 (graduated re-payment plan) that I pay for my current loan. It may not sound like a lot when you consider that I live in NYC and would be making 65k or better. However, when I think about saving for my children's college, our retirement, and paying off a mortgage things look different. What if I really hate nursing after a few years? Do I want to be locked into a career I hate because I can't make the same kind of money in another field and I have all of these loans to pay back?
I am still not 100% sure if the answer is no. It is just so depressing to me that I want to go back to school and I will likely have to take the super slow route at a City college because of the much cheaper tuition.

There are TONS of options for nursing nowadays. IF you decide you hate bedside nursing there are other specialities, such a nursing informatics (with computers), telenursing, nurse case managers. There's also nursing legal consultants.

Or work for a pharmaceutical helping with research for products. There's doctors doing this, and not practicing actual medicine anymore.

There's lots of other options. You can look at the american board of nursing specialites, and find out more.

Bottom line is with a nursing degree, there's a lot you can do, even if you don't like bedside nursing.

Lovely_RN, MSN · Oct 11, 2006

It's good to know that there are so many options in nursing...thanks for the information. I guess I wouldn't have to worry about being stuck in a position I hated. I still worry the debt load because I already have 35k in loans for a degree that I am not using right now. Sometimes it feels like an albatross around my neck. I hate my student loan debt and the idea of incurring more-even though I know it's for a good cause-makes me feel slightly nauseous.

There are TONS of options for nursing nowadays. IF you decide you hate bedside nursing there are other specialities, such a nursing informatics (with computers), telenursing, nurse case managers. There's also nursing legal consultants.
Or work for a pharmaceutical helping with research for products. There's doctors doing this, and not practicing actual medicine anymore.
There's lots of other options. You can look at the american board of nursing specialites, and find out more.
Bottom line is with a nursing degree, there's a lot you can do, even if you don't like bedside nursing.

LMRN10 · Oct 11, 2006

I am applying to an accelerated BSN program that begins next June. I believe I have a good chance of getting in.
If I am accepted, I would need to quit my job. And there is the trouble....
I feel like my husband will not be in board with this. I already have 45k in student loans, and will need to take out another 25-30k for tuition and living expenses for the 1 year BSN.
Personally, I feel the 75k total debt will be worth it, both for having a job I love, and for the increase in salary from what I am making now (45k) to what I can safely assume I will make as a nurse (65k to start - NYC).
My husband FREAKS when he hears about more debt. I am really despairing of having to "talk him into" me going to nursing school.
Has anyone else been in this position?
We have no children, are in our mid-30's, and I just feel like if ever there was a time to do this, it's now.

I am not in this exact situation. I am lucky enough to have my work reimburse me 100% if I get a C or better. I agree that it will be worth it in the end, but I do have a husband who also freaks out about money constantly...just lucky that we don't have loans piling up due to the reimbursement.

I do however have an issue with support as far as the house goes...I have a daughter - she is 1. And I have asked him numerous times to please come in at a certain time so I can start studying earlier and he just doesn't. It's going to HAVE to change when I begin the nursing classes and I do keep reminding him of that. Right now I am taking an online communications course, so I can do it, but it just makes it hard. I also work full-time which adds to the difficulty of the situation - but I make it work!

All you can do is talk to him about it. Explain to him that you will be in a much better position if you move forward with it. Good luck to you!!

mvanz9999, RN · Oct 11, 2006

I know many people that spent $30-40K on a wedding (which is just 1 day) and many of them can't afford to buy the house they want or even go on a honeymoon. I know in the east coast, weddings are expensive and people sometimes get loans for them or use all their lifetime savings, and say it's WORTHWHILE TO THEM, to have their big wedding.
Well to me it's worthwhile to go to nursing school, and we're not even having a big wedding, just a very intimate affair and it's doesn't bother me at all since I'm happy with that.

Wow. And you're sure you're a woman? Perhaps you can have a chat with my GF and get her to see the light. (30K+ for a single day vs. a house or college degree). :bugeyes:

I'm still struggling with this issue. The problem for me is that unless I go to an advanced practice degree, the money is the same. That's why I cut out the BSN programs. It's either ADN or Master's. I simply cannot afford to pay a ridiculous amount for a BSN.

The more I think about it....I really don't have much of a desire to attend school full time and to live on a paltry amount as I did when I was 17. I'm 37, and I've got a live. Probably getting remarried in the next few years and I'm not sure I want school to delay this.

What a mess. If I could get a do-over.....

aureliey · Oct 11, 2006

Wow. And you're sure you're a woman? Perhaps you can have a chat with my GF and get her to see the light. (30K+ for a single day vs. a house or college degree).
I'm still struggling with this issue. The problem for me is that unless I go to an advanced practice degree, the money is the same. That's why I cut out the BSN programs. It's either ADN or Master's. I simply cannot afford to pay a ridiculous amount for a BSN.
The more I think about it....I really don't have much of a desire to attend school full time and to live on a paltry amount as I did when I was 17. I'm 37, and I've got a live. Probably getting remarried in the next few years and I'm not sure I want school to delay this.
What a mess. If I could get a do-over.....

Well I guess I'm sort of an independent thinking bride. :)

I have sisters friends who spent the big $ on a wedding and now all say they wish they had spent less,and it's better to get a house.

I also have never been one to love being center of attention, so I don't need a 150 guest wedding.

Plus the prices for wedding things are super overpriced, such as a $90-100 meal which isn't really worth the price.

I also feel that by saving all the money by not have a big wedding, I can have a nicer honeymoon.

But I'm not alone, there are plenty of women who think like me. There's a site called Indiebride.com that has plenty of info and message forums about how to save money on a wedding, different points of view, etc.

But of course, we are still the minority since many women have been socialized to believe they need a huge wedding and don't realize how crazy it really is to spend so much on one day, and many of them don't have the money (get loans) or could use it for something else.

A wedding is special, but just because it's small and costs less doesn't make it less special. The most important thing is the marriage, which will last more than 1 day (hopefully) and it's important to have money for other things.

Not all BSNs are that expensive it depends where you live. I am doing an accelerated BSN, so only 1 yr, and I'm done.

Mistysmoke · Oct 12, 2006

My husband and I had a wedding that cost less than $500.00 :) I think there are many women like us, but, the media tends to not want to show it.

I am not even a student yet, but, looking at the BSN information is already confusing to me, hopefully it wont be once I get some classes done for the Associates.

I am the poster that had the husband who said he would support me going into Psychology over nursing... I have to say that he has been very supportive with me just getting information about starting school. :) It's a start.

aureliey · Oct 13, 2006

My husband and I had a wedding that cost less than $500.00 :) I think there are many women like us, but, the media tends to not want to show it.
I am not even a student yet, but, looking at the BSN information is already confusing to me, hopefully it wont be once I get some classes done for the Associates.
I am the poster that had the husband who said he would support me going into Psychology over nursing... I have to say that he has been very supportive with me just getting information about starting school. :) It's a start.

Yes, I agree that the media doesn't like to show women like us, since it's not interesting nor lucrative for advertising (wedding mags, vendors, etc)especially.

I think it's great that your husband supports you going back to school. But seriously, if you are thinking about Psychology, it's really not a career will you will easily find great job opportunites, esp. with only a BA. I have a BA in Psych and it took me almost 8 yrs to find a decent paying job, and the job is in another field!

I wanted so much to pursue Psych but all jobs that paid decent wages or good opptys required a Master's degree or higher. Those that required only a BA paid very low (often lower than some administrative assistant jobs) and even with experience, the job prospects are not great unless you have a Master's. I wanted to get a Master's but that was much more time consuming and expensive. Master psych classes involve alot of writing, projects, etc. Plus even with a Masters it's still an 'intermediate' degree and you're not an actual Psychologist until you have a PhD.

I don't think I am prepared to go that route, and decided nursing is a great career that will enable me to apply my Psych knowledge (a great deal of nursing skills involves knowing how to relate to people, empathize, etc), and I will have much more job opptys, and the schooling is much shorter than a Masters in Psych since I'm doing the Accelerated BSN.

I'll be done next year and feel that it's going much quicker than I thought, yet I'm learning alot and feel excited to graduate. I may even consider mental health nursing, which allows for even more psychological therapeutica interventions, etc.

If your heart is on nursing, go for it. Esp. if you have an interest in psychology, since you really have to have good people skills to be a nurse.