Very upset and depressed...almost got fired

  1. I can't give too much info just in case someone I work with comes here and of course, I surely don't want to violate anyone's privacy. Anyway, I worked this past weekend and wasn't aware of a policy in place at this new facility I've worked in for only a few months. They do not allow admissions on weekends and I admitted someone on the weekend. The reason for no admits being this place does not have access to a 24 hour pharmacy to obtain ordered meds. The DON was very angry with me (rightfully so) and really let me have it. She didn't write me up or fire me but I'm on a thin line now and I'm very upset with myself for not calling her before accepting the admit. I have been a licensed nurse for 17 years and I've never made such an important mistake. My confidence is gone; I don't know how to get it back. There are a few nurses there that I just know are probably happy that I got reamed esp. this one who never lifted a finger to help me out with anything when we worked together even though I don't think I've ever done or said anything mean to her.

    How can I pull through this? I know it is a learning experience etc. but I mean it, I'm really depressed now (it doesn't help that I already suffer from a similar mental illness which predisposes me to extreme depression). I'm not suicidal or anything, but if I end up being wrote up or fired, I probably will be. I just really pride myself on being a good nurse and it is like I've been whacked at with an ax.

    Thanks for listening...

    Blessings, M.
  2. Visit mondkmondk profile page

    About mondkmondk

    Joined: Aug '08; Posts: 348; Likes: 203
    RN at local nursing homes
    Specialty: 17 year(s) of experience in Geriatrics


  3. by   caliotter3
    Have you thought about a change of environment? Start looking on your own and move on while the getting is good. Sounds like this place is about worn out as far as you are concerned. Good luck.
  4. by   jm394
    I think that we should be measured by how well we learn from our mistakes, not whether or not we make them in the first place. Because we all make mistakes. I'm sure your DON knows this if she's been a manager for any amount of time. Stay strong and try to remind yourself of all the things you do RIGHT each day, not the one thing you did wrong. Anyways, you'll probably NEVER make that mistake again now that you've had such a terrible time of it!
    Good luck.
  5. by   ohmeowzer RN
    good heaven's you are only human. i understand her concern , but it was a innocent mistake and we all do them. you think this would have been stressed in a inservice or somewhere in the break room , "no admits on weekends".

    just move on from this and try not to think about it. forgive yourself...
  6. by   Straydandelion
    The only thing that would concern me is what OTHER policies that you aren't aware of, IMO that was an honest mistake and not life-threatening. Is there a P&P book you can review?
  7. by   HappyBunnyNurse
    I agree you definitely need to see policies in writing. Who knows what else they aren't telling you? Don't feel bad, you can't help what you aren't informed about!
  8. by   achot chavi
    I make mistakes every day and try to learn from them,

    Forgive yourself, your DON probably has already. If she didn't fire you it is a sign that your worth is greater than this mistake.

    You are an amazing nurse who is an important part of your team and much needed. Don't quit, the grass wont be greener elsewhere.

    I agree that you should go over your facilities policies.
    With all questions and doubts, call the DON or ADON (get their permission first so it wont look like you are just bothering them) until you feel more comfortable .
    Have patience with yourself. Ironically I bet you are a forgiving person who would have no problem forgiving a coworker a mistake!!
  9. by   3boysmom3
    Wow, the people who were working with you were so mean-spirited that even though they almost certainly knew the policy, they didn't speak up? That's a shame.

    Was the patient that you admitted injured in any way as a result of being admitted? I assume not, as you don't mention any harm done- so don't be so hard on yourself. Lesson learned, shame on them for giving a less than thorough orientation, and just be happy that it wasn't something that had a bad outcome.

    I'm a nurse manager in a clinic, and if one of the nurses makes a mistake because she wasn't told the proper way to do it, I will figure that I am the one responsible, right???

    Don't beat yourself up. Stuff happens. I've learned a few painful lessons in my years. (if you have another conference with your NM, you might ask her if the staff you were working with know of the policy, and then let her know- not as a tattletale, just to make a point- that it would have been helpful if your coworkers had let you in on the policy.)
  10. by   Ms.RN
    hospital didnt call the admission director? usually hospitals have to talk to an admissions person and have to be okayed by her before patient can be admitted due to insurance issues and medical problems etc. when a case manager from the hospital calls, i always give case mangers phone number of admission director and they are the one to inform nurses whether or not patient will be admitted.
  11. by   Jo Dirt
    For one thing, what kind of stone-aged place is this that doesn't have provisions in place to allow weekend admissions?

    For another thing, the facility needs to blame itself if it didn't go over this policy, what else have they not told you? Handing you an employee handbook and telling you to read it doesn't get them off the hook. We have a woman who handles all the employee orientation and she goes through the whole handbook with new employees to make sure there are no questions.

    You made an honest mistake, it wasn't a mistake because of incompetence on your part. If I could be there I'd take up for you. There are enough things to get down about without letting this one add to it. I don't think it was your fault.
  12. by   txredheadnurse
    I agree with the other posters to not be so hard on yourself. I defy anyone to declare in this or any other forum that they have never made a mistake in their nursing career. Heavens knows I have pulled a doozy or two in my time.

    Having said that I am curious as to how this facility is licensed and passing state survey without access to a 24/7 pharmacy? In my neck of the woods a long term care ICF or SF has to have 24/7 pharmacy access or they can't pass survey. Makes one go hmmm, what other vital things have been omitted from your employee orientation if such a significant issue as admission policies has not been shared with a charge nurse?
  13. by   wonderbee
    How is it that you did not know this important policy and you were in charge? I would think this would be part of your orientation. You can't know what you're not taught. This is, IMO, a facility blunder.
  14. by   catlvr
    My first thought was the same as everyone else's: why didn't the other staff clue you in to this policy? If that is the mentality of the facility, I think that I'd be looking for a new position, and take it as a learning experience.

    One of the hardest things to learn is how to pick youself back up after falling; but since chances are good that we're going to continue to make mistakes, it is a really valuable lesson. Forgive yourself for this, study that P&P manual while you consider if you want to stay at the facility, and resolve to do better.

    Good luck!