Funny things they say....

  1. I'm giving meds earlier to a 95 year old resident. He is usually very comical. Says he: "All these pills! How do they all know where to go??" After swallowing them, he says, "Do some of these pills have lizard skin on them, or what?"

    Lol I love my seniors! They crack me up. Please share...
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    About joanna73

    Joined: Jul '10; Posts: 5,489; Likes: 11,527
    from US
    Specialty: geriatrics


  3. by   Short-Stuff 23
    I have worked in an LTC facility for about a year now and I do love my residents.

    One resident came up to me at my med cart and said "Well, I put my application in here. When am I going to hear anything?" I was surprised and said, "you did?..Well it is Saturday and the boss won't be back in until Monday." She agreed and went on about her business. HA HA

    At OP: Lizard skins???? That is hilarious
  4. by   Art_Vandelay
    I was caring for a patient in his private home. I was standing at the bedside with the patient's son. My demented patient looks at his son and says, "Are you going to touch her tits tonight?" I held on until I was out of the room, then burst into tears laughing.
  5. by   Whispera
    I had a little old lady who would pull me aside and tell me her next door neighbor was running a brothel out of her room...
  6. by   KareBear0609
    I work in a LTC as a CNA. This man, who actually just passed away last week, was eating dinner and I had to help him eat. I gave him a sip of milk and when I was taking the milk carton out of his mouth, the straw got caught on his tooth and flicked some milk on his cheek. I told him that he had milk on his cheek and to wipe it off. He looks up at me and says, "You wanna lick it off?"
  7. by   joanna73
    Lol lol. Thanks for sharing. One of my residents (not the one I referred to in my OP) has probably passed away as we speak. I just finished a hard couple of shifts. I needed a few laughs. They are precious

    And yes...he did say "lizard skins..." Referring to his night time pills the other night. I was trying so hard to keep a straight face.

    Another female resident dx Alzheimer's, age 92 and wheel chair bound, tells the NA's, "Oh, I can help you put people to bed," the same night.
  8. by   nep1980
    last week on clinical another student asked me to cover her patient while she went to lunch. The patient was due for Cipro PO at 12:00, no big deal, easy enough. She tells me the patient is fine and I will have no problems and other than that there is nothing to do for the patient.
    I walk into the room with the med, do all the checks and then go over to the patient to do my last check and to check the patients arm band. I introduce my self and the patient says to me, "My you look slim today!"~ok she has never seen me before.....maybe she is just trying to be friendly.....I then take her arm and look at the band and ask her her name and DOB.....She say's, "Why yes I just had breakfast and lunch on the roof!"
  9. by   Daisy_08
    i preface that the pt is 102, 3ft tall, 50lbs soaking wet, with a little mouse voice. last night on final rounds (of course) she was sitting on the side of her bed spot cleaning the stool out of her tenna with saliva and her finger nails. she had the biggest grin on her face when her saw me (she is so adorable). i started to clean her up and she kept wanting to touch me. i told her she was dirty and not to touch anything until i finished washing her up. she looked at me with her lip quivering, and said "i'm sorry, i don't mean to be a dirty girl" i put her back in bed and as i left she started to whimper, saying "i'm a dirty girl, a dirty girl......" the poor thing, i feel for her, but it was hard not to laugh.
  10. by   Forever Sunshine
    Quote from Whispera
    I had a little old lady who would pull me aside and tell me her next door neighbor was running a brothel out of her room...
    I absolutely love this and can totally picture one of my residents saying this to me. I know the exact one too.
  11. by   teeniebert
    Yesterday one of my residents complained that he had 'hot spots' on his bottom, then continued wheeling himself down the hall (he's one that does laps around the facility all day). When an aide brought him into his room for scheduled toileting, I went in and said I was going to look at his bottom and put some cream on the 'hot spots'. He looked daggers at me and said, 'You'd better not have cold hands!' I stifled a giggle and rubbed my hands together to warm them, to which he said, 'Now that's more like it! You can touch me now.'

    edited to add: the 'hot spots' were the same stage 1 pressure areas he's had since admission.
  12. by   Not_A_Hat_Person
    Quote from Whispera
    I had a little old lady who would pull me aside and tell me her next door neighbor was running a brothel out of her room...
    Well, was she?
  13. by   Whispera
    Quote from Not_A_Hat_Person
    Well, was she?
    She was in her 90s and wheelchair-bound. She also had dementia and didn't communicate much at all. Advertisement would have been beyond her scope of practice, I think...

  14. by   wifeandmomoftwo
    I had a lady the other morning in her early 90's (with dementia) wake up bawling her eyes out. At first I thought she was in physical pain. When we asked her if she was hurting she said "No, it's just my heart. It's broken. You see, my grandson is newly married and when you are married you are supposed to have intercourse with your husband. His wife just won't allow it and thats terrible. He's just a wonderful person." I asked her how she knew all of this and then she said "Well he's my grandson. He told me." Of course I didn't say anything but somehow I doubt that, lol! She then went on with the sobbing. It was all the CNA and I could do to hold it together until we could get out of the room. It took about thirty minutes for us to calm her down. I think she must have told about five people this same story before it was over. I hope her poor grandson never finds out.