Funny things they say....

[joanna73]

I'm giving meds earlier to a 95 year old resident. He is usually very comical. Says he: "All these pills! How do they all know where to go??" After swallowing them, he says, "Do some of these pills have lizard skin on them, or what?"

Lol :) I love my seniors! They crack me up. Please share...

[wifeandmomoftwo]

I had a lady the other morning in her early 90's (with dementia) wake up bawling her eyes out. At first I thought she was in physical pain. When we asked her if she was hurting she said "No, it's just my heart. It's broken. You see, my grandson is newly married and when you are married you are supposed to have intercourse with your husband. His wife just won't allow it and thats terrible. He's just a wonderful person." I asked her how she knew all of this and then she said "Well he's my grandson. He told me." Of course I didn't say anything but somehow I doubt that, lol! She then went on with the sobbing. It was all the CNA and I could do to hold it together until we could get out of the room. It took about thirty minutes for us to calm her down. I think she must have told about five people this same story before it was over. I hope her poor grandson never finds out.

[gorgenurse]

On my second day at my new job...I was getting medications ready at the med cart. Well, I said to the other nurse "do I need to crush meds for Mr. so and so? The little lady standing next to me has a last name that sounds very similar....so she looked at me surprised and said "for Mr. so and so, that's my husband! Don't crush too many, HE"S DEAD!"

I had such a hard time keeping my self from laughing.......she had alzheimers so I didn't think an explanation would help much.

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

OMG rotfl! That sounds like something out of a comedy routine:lol2:

[debRN0417]

Two residents standing at the alarmed door of a secured unit:

Resident #1- "You push it" (push the door to open)

Resident #2- "No, you pull it!"

Resident #1- "I pushed it last time."

Resident #2- "No I pulled it last time."

Resident #1- "You cant remember what you had for breakfast, how do you know what you did?"

Resident #2- "I know I pulled it."

Resident #1- "You did not, I pushed it!"

Resident #2- "Oh hell, just forget it"

Resident #1- "Forget what?"

[qestout, ASN, RN]

One night on my med pass: "you get outta here!" "No, you get outta here!" "No, you!" "You!" (and on, neither were in their own room) meanwhile...chimes at door for res trying to get out, lady swearing in Italian to no-one in particular, another calling for dog "Ringo!" and then the blind man in the hallway whips out a harmonica and starts to play. When the snack cart showed up, and the CNA said "Ice cream, anyone?" all the clatter stopped immediately.

[Forever Sunshine, ASN, RN]

Two residents standing at the alarmed door of a secured unit:

Resident #1- "You push it" (push the door to open)

Resident #2- "No, you pull it!"

Resident #1- "I pushed it last time."

Resident #2- "No I pulled it last time."

Resident #1- "You cant remember what you had for breakfast, how do you know what you did?"

Resident #2- "I know I pulled it."

Resident #1- "You did not, I pushed it!"

Resident #2- "Oh hell, just forget it"

Resident #1- "Forget what?"

I have 2 residents that could be having this argument also.. Resident #2 is the same one I have in mind that would tell me about the brothel in her neighbor's room.

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

Do you ever feel like you're working in "Bizarro World?" I've felt that way at times!

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

Yes I have felt that way many times :)

[WittySarcasm, BSN]

Female res- "Look he is wearing my clothes everynight and dances before me before putting them back!" The man she was talking about is a quad and therefore unable to walk.

Same res- "You know what! I know my roommate is planning a group sex party."

Me- "Really?" *roommate is the type to never suggest anything- she blushes when she sees a man's leg*

Res- "Yes she invited me to join."

Me- "Are you going to go?" *preparing for her to try to leave the unit*

Res- "No way! I have my own group sex parties in the bathroom here, why would I want to go all the way downstairs."

Me- *walks away*

[IdrilRN, BSN, RN]

apparently I was putting way too much powder on down there for an Alz lady. She said to me, "what are you doing making pie crust?"

[arabstarRN]

LMAO that last story made me bust out laughing. Thanks, I needed that!

[c.oconnor]

At my facility, EVERYONE (including me, the administrator) takes turns sitting with some of our dementia residents who would love to escape from the facility to go home to their babies, or whatever.

One day I was walking one of our wonderful ladies down the hall towards the front entrance when a CNA approached us to ask if she could help me. This particular CNA is really tall, and our resident is a tiny, tiny little lady....she looks at the CNA and states very matter of fact, "NO, you CANNOT help us! You might be tall, but if you get in my way, I am going to knock the **** out of you! I gotta get home!"

I wanted to die laughing right there, but I waited until I got into my office.

I love the elderly. I would never choose to work with any other population!