Student Moms of young children
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I am curious because I am a mom of three young children, how many of us are there out there trying to go to school and raise the kiddos? Trey is four, will be five when I start in the fall, Piper is two and will be three, and Bryce is five months. I am struggling with the "guilt" issues of leaving them for long periods of time.. how are others out there dealing with this? I'd really like to get into some intense discussions into this...it is my biggest stumbling block.
Kim
Mar 18, '04Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 2,659; Likes: 21I have two boys, ages 5 and 2, and I'm hoping to start school full-time this summer. Leaving them is not anything new for me - I've had to work full-time since they were babies (so right now I work FT and do school at night). They don't seem any worse for wear, and although it's hard to leave the kids - you do what you have to do. Short term sacrifices for the long term good of everyone involved...
I think guilt is something that comes along with the territory of being a Mom... :chuckle
I'm sure you'll get some good advice here - there's lots of parent/students on the board.
Mar 18, '04Occupation: Urgent Care Joined: Feb '04; Posts: 1,740; Likes: 49right now I go part-time at night, and working with my husbands schedule, we only use a sitter once a week. I will have to use day care this summer when I go full time for CNA though. By the time I get in with the long waiting list, both my kids should be in school full-time so it would work out nice. I can't afford full time day care and school. It's insane LOLMar 18, '04Joined: Mar '04; Posts: 147; Likes: 6I am just finishing my final semester, this has been a 6 yr process for me. My children are 15, 7. I have had guilt, especially with the younger one. Nearly her whole life Ii have been in school/working. I spent much more time being active in my older childs life. But, I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and our lives will be better for it. I feel I have missed things. But the one thing that I have passed on to them is the importance of getting an education, and telling them to go for thier careers before having kids, it is much easier. I have also shown them determination and reaching out and suceeding with goals.Mar 18, '04Joined: Mar '04; Posts: 5,926; Likes: 15I think my littlest one is the one I fear for the most because he isn't going to get any mommy time like the other two did. Trey will be in kindergarten and Piper will be in preschool but Bryce is just a baby still. I know that I have to do this for ME and for THEM but it's still very hard emotionally for me. I have two mornings where my lab starts at 7 am and I can't even take Trey to school or the other two to daycare/preschool. I guess I shouldn't worry about it until the time comes, but I am really trying to prepare myself mentally.
On top of this, I may have to try to go back to work waitressing at least part time, but childcare is VERY hard to find at night and Bryan (dh) work schedule is always different.
Mar 18, '04Joined: Apr '03; Posts: 13,019; Likes: 36,513Mine are 6 and 3. I'm not having too many guilt issues because I've been home with them for their entire lives up until now. I'm ready to move onto a different phase of my life and do some things for ME. And other than my daughter (who will be 4 at that time) being in fulltime preschool instead of part-time, they won't have more than an additional 4-5 hours of before- or after-school care a week so it's not like I'll NEVER see them. The thing I'm most worried about, as I previously posted, is how to handle those times when they're sick and can't go to school/childcare. I'm worried about that. Planning on giving them lots of immune-boosting herbs starting this summer to make sure they stay well!
Mar 18, '04Occupation: Nursing Assistant Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 38; Likes: 4Hi Kim.
I am a mom of 5, 2 little ones at home and 3 in school, in my late 30's and I have been working toward my nursing degree for at least 7 years taking one class at a time. I was on a waiting list to start my clinicals this past January. I started and lasted 4 days!! It was SO OVERWHELMING. Not to mention the expense.....and it broke my heart to drop my babies off at day care all day. I currently work as a nursing assistant and I LOVE my job, so I figure that when the time is "right," I will go back to school then. I know the guilt that you feel.
Our children are only "little" once and school will ALWAYS be there!!! Enjoy your children! I am planning to wait until I get my 4th child in kindergarten and then my daughter will be almost 3. LISTEN TO YOUR WHAT YOUR HEART IS TELLING YOU!
Good luck and God bless.
Laurie
Mar 18, '04Joined: Sep '03; Posts: 6,885; Likes: 12,485CNM2B,
I think all of us moms struggle with this. It's a very individual thing - there's no "right" answer for everyone.
My husband's work schedule includes 12-14 hour days, for a total of 65+ hours per week - he's just not at home a lot. It can be hard.
You'll find lots of support here ... and feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk.
Mar 18, '04Joined: Mar '04; Posts: 5,926; Likes: 15you know, you guys are JUST what I have been looking for. I am not receiving much support from my MIL who at times I just want to strangle (I try to avoid speaking with her as much as possible). On one hand she gives me a hard time about leaving the kids. But then, on the other, she makes it known that "her son" works too hard for what he makes, blah, blah, blah.....so, dang...I am going to school to pursue my DREAM and to help out around here once I graduate and she can't/won't support me. OIY!
I am sooo glad to be here and I am sure NOW is the right time for me to be doing this for ME! The really great thing about my childcare situation is that it will be on campus (well, right across the street) and I have access to the kids at all times. As for when they get sick, my husband will have to get time off if it is one of my required nursing labs, etc. If it's just during English or something like that, I won't stress and I'll take care of them.
I am just trying to get everything straight in my mind, ya know? before I start. There is NO question that I am going to school and that I am going to do it...it's just the logistics of it all.
Thanks!!!! soooooo very much ya'll!!!!!!Mar 18, '04Occupation: Urgent Care Joined: Feb '04; Posts: 1,740; Likes: 49sounds like you've got it all figured out! If you can prioritize and figure out your home/family life, you can handle school
best of luck to you!
Mar 18, '04Occupation: CNA, student Joined: Feb '04; Posts: 31I have a 5 year old and an 8 year old. Sometimes I feel guilty, then I remind myself of all the benefits we'll have when I finish and can begin real career.
Mar 18, '04Joined: Dec '02; Posts: 41,761; Likes: 48,078I went back to school when my youngest started 1st grade. I was home when they got home for the most part. I found it very difficult to study at home and did most of my studying at school. I shudder to think of how in the world I did it and didn't go crazy. I do remember crying at night sometimes as it seemed overwhelming. My husband was very supportive so I didn't have that problem. I just wish I'd done it before marriage and children.
I have a toddler now and can't imagine being in your shoes and understand the "mother guilt". I work part-time and am lucky to have wonderful in-laws who live on a ranch and take care of my son.
I'm probably in hug4mom's corner . . . I'd wait until my kids were older and I couldn't use daycare. Just because I know how fast time goes by . . .my oldest is in college now AND I have a toddler . . ..
Good luck and best wishes,
steph
Mar 18, '04Occupation: Registered Nurse Specialty: ICU ; Joined: Dec '03; Posts: 612; Likes: 24I am going to feel very guilty. My daughter will be three by the time I start and it will be hard to see her because I'll be working during the day and taking the classes at night. I am going to try to find a balance. When I say my prayer for myself (to sanely find a balance) I'll put in a special request for you also.Must Read Topics
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