Pulled into instructors office today!

  1. I was pulled into an instructor's office today and told about the "services" on campus when you have allot of stress or problems that you are dealing with.

    I took offense at this!!! She assumed, because I am a very outgoing and verbal person, that I was dealing with allot of stress (I was told that allot of older students have trouble dealing with the stress of home, family etc). I know that this is the "weeding out" period, and hope she hasn't targeted me for this. I am a very good student and am able to "multi-task" with very little problem. I have her for two labs on Tuesdays. In the second lab, after this "little talk", I just kept my mouth shut, asked no questions, and gave no answers to anything. She pretty much look passed me throughout the class (there are only 8 of us in this lab).

    Should I watch my a** with this instructor. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

    By the way, while I do have the normal stress, there is nothing out of the ordinary going on in my life by any means, and I DO NOT need any counseling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. Visit essarge profile page

    About essarge

    Joined: Apr '01; Posts: 1,345; Likes: 12
    student nurse extern


  3. by   prmenrs
    How did you respond to her inquiry?
  4. by   BrandyBSN
    I wouldnt worry about it too much. Maybe she just really likes you, and wanted to make sure that you were holding up ok

    you will be great! Dont let it bother you

  5. by   KC CHICK
    Don't let her change the way you behave in clinical. It may give her further reason to bring up the subject if you are 'reclusive' and don't participate. ASK ALL THE QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO AND BE VERY MUCH INVOLVED IN YOUR CLINICAL EXPERIENCES.

    After a student in my class found out she was pregnant during our sophmore semester, she was advised by an instructor that maybe she should "take a semester off". She went further to tell this student that she'd "seen some obsessive-compulsive behavior from her" and " maybe she wouldn't be able to deal with the stress of a pregnancy and nursing school". How outrageous!!!! Anyway, this student stuck it out, had a great pregnancy, and graduated from school this May.
    For some reason, instructors always seem to know 'what is in your best interest' even if they don't have a CLUE as to who you really are and how you really deal w/stress.

    Just ignore her....don't let her get to you. You can do this!!
  6. by   MollyJ
    Essarge, relax.

    What if this instructor really cares about students and maybe she saw that you are really stressed out. You know, all of us have been in nursing school and we know what it is to be stressed. I think, particularly looking at your posts of your summer load, that you ask alot of yourself. You ask alot of yourself if you were someone who was young, single and with no family obligations, but you have those obligations, too.

    So how stressed and perfectionistic are you being with yourself? On a scale of one to ten, where one is so unstressed it's like being on a tropical isle and ten is "having physical stress sx, snapping at my family, feeling constantly overwhelmed" or "the worst stress ever", where are you landing? Remember, you have to take care of yourself or you cannot take care of others.

    Approach her question from a different frame of reference. What if your best friend asked you that question? What would you have said to her?

    Essarge, you just reacted like she was accusing you of moral failing or weakness. Being stressed is not a moral failing; it is a human experience, but if we don't take care of the body and the "soul," it will fail us.

    Relax, count to 10. Take care of yourself. Reconsider her point. How are you doing Essarge? Don't answer me. Answer yourself and then call up your best friend and talk to her about it or talk to someone you trust.

    Take care.
  7. by   essarge
    I responded to the instructor with just "thank you". I didn't say much else because I was taken aback. I did call my best friends and asked her what she thought. Apparently, she was given almost the same advice about being an "older student". It was funny because she was just about to call me on this too!

    I prioritize as much as possible. We have a 16 and an almost 17 year old and have told them that they are old enough to be responsible for things that have been done for them in the past now that I'm in school.

    Compared to my summer semester, where I pulled 17 credits (which included A&P I and II) this semester is "slow and easy". My friend and I have decided to let it go this time, but if it is brought up again we plan on trying to find out why she approached us as "older students" and not the young students who have problems (personal and school) that should be dealt with.

    As far as a scale of where my stress level is, it is right about a 4-5. This is normal for me in and out of school.

    Thanks for the advice, it was greatly appreciated!
  8. by   fergus51
    I feel like I can relate SOOOOOO much! I normally speak very fast and I get shaky hands when I haven't eaten and I use self deprecating humour a lot. Throughout school instructors interpreted this as nervousness/stress and would tell me to relax. I would try to explain that this is just my normal personality, but I never felt like they believed it and the more you try to convince them you're not stressed, the more stressed they think you are. As long as you keep doing ok in school and the hospital don't worry about it. Her opinion of your stress is beyond your control. Act how you would normally act and try to enjoy school.
  9. by   nrsbaby2be
    When I first read your post, I thought maybe since you are the outgoing type she had hoped you would pass this on to classmates that keep things inside more. Not seeing you as needing help, but you being better able to relate to some of the other student nurses. I got stumped though when you mentioned your friend's experience.

    Maybe, just maybe...with everything going on...she was coming to you for help...seeing your outgoingness, maybe she envied that...she might have also been jealous of that.

    As with the other posts, just keep going as you are. You have a big support system here on this board alone.

  10. by   CEN35
    I know we haven't really talked much........but I have read many of your posts. Your doing fine..........forget what the instructor said......and keep the chin up......and keep plugging away......you will do fine!!!!

  11. by   essarge
    Thanks Cen! I will keep plugging away and going over any hurdles that are thrown in front of me. Seems like there are allot of those in everyone's life lately, doesn't it?
  12. by   laurab2jb2

    I had an experience (sort of related) during my first semester that really had me wondering if I was going to continue in my school. My friend and I (both outgoing and friendly) started the program at the same time, so we knew each other better than the other students. Due to this, we would ask each other for clarification during lecture (in a very quiet manner) instead of disrupting class. As almost all of the other students did this, I did not see this as a problem. Also, due to the fact that we have families, there were 2-3 times we were late for lecture (I know, a big no-no), but sometimes it is unavoidable. I did not think this was such a big problem until we got "the letter"!

    In this letter, the instructor accused us both of "patterns of disturbing behavior"! This was sent to us without even so much as a word from her as to her disapproval of our behavior. It also said that if we were not interested in the material being taught, we were welcome to leave! I was floored!!!!

    My response to this letter was to send to her a letter telling her my viewpoint, and that I felt this letter was unduly harsh considering the problems listed. I was very nervous about the next class with her until she approached me. She thanked me for the letter, and said it made her realize that even seasoned professionals can sometimes be wrong. WHEW!

    I truly feel that if people judge you incorrectly, it is best to try to set the record straight right away, and hope they understand. If they choose not to, the best you can do is be yourself. Nobody knows your true insight better than you. Don't change yourself to suite someone else, as the only one who will lose is you. Hang in there, and just be yourself.
  13. by   CEN35
    yes there are ALWAYS hurdles.......you just have to jump..............just some are higher than others.

    This might be your instructors way, of pushing you..or checking on you. Although, I rarely confided in them.

    My answer, was to ignore their comments......Ace a test, kick some clinical butt, and never look twice at them!

  14. by   essarge
    Went in and talked to my instructor today. Told her "thank you" for her concern and that there was nothing to worry about. What she was seeing was just me the way I am and have always been. She said that she just noticed all of my energy and thought that maybe it was stress related. I assured her it was not. I then showed her the paper that I was doing for her class to have her check it over. She looked at it and said that I had done a good job, with just a few changes it would be an A!!! Whoohoo!!!

    One more obstacle out of the way!!