My husband won't let me do bed baths

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I told my husband that we are doing bed baths in lab on Friday. He looked at me strange and asked me why on earth I would want to do that. I told him that it is just something you do as a nurse. He looked at me weird and I told him we would be in shorts and a tank top. He said "Your not letting some guy practice on you!" I told him that it was a medical professional think and that it was not like the male student would be turned on or something. He said that the guy could and that no guy was giving me a sponge bath. I asked, "what if I was in an accident and in the hospital and they had to give me a bath?" and he said "I would give you a bath":madface: Has any one hand any problems with this? I better not tell him that eventually we will be learning to do cathaters...on males...

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
Get him to volunteer as your patient for that training evolution. Most instructors are more than happy to have that happen in order to resolve the stress already on the student.

Good idea.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Pediatrics, Geriatrics.
This is from a man. RUN. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. If this is such an issue, he has serious posessive issues and you will never be able to enjoy your job and life without wondering how he will percieve it. You won't be able to share with him at the end of the day what you did, or have to lie to avoid confrontation. Bad way to live a life. Either he needs to get over it, or you need to get over him.

This is a marriage. I hardly think that advising the OP to run, after reading one negative post about her husband's insecurities is appropriate.:nono:

ETA: nor is it appropriate to predict her divorce, for those of you who have done so...she came here because of her husband's unacceptance and dominating opinion only to find other's disapproval/shock/judgement...perhaps that's why she has not returned.

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:nurse: Hey I work at a hospital my husband does not like for me to bathe men but he has learned to understand that is my job. You will get propositioned and you just have to ignore it. Tell your husband that you are professional at what you do and when it comes time to bathe the other sex if they are able let them handle the important areas if you know what I mean? I have been a cna for a long time since 1988 so I have lots of good advice.
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Specializes in Critical Care.

I think the focus and strength of the response does NOT come from the husband being concerned about this procedure.

It comes from the dictate: "I won't let you".

That is a powerful statement. Of course it is gonna engender a powerful response.

~faith,

Timothy.

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Ok, give us some good advice. :lol2:

:nurse: Hey I work at a hospital my husband does not like for me to bathe men but he has learned to understand that is my job. You will get propositioned and you just have to ignore it. Tell your husband that you are professional at what you do and when it comes time to bathe the other sex if they are able let them handle the important areas if you know what I mean? I have been a cna for a long time since 1988 so I have lots of good advice.
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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
I think the focus and strength of the response does NOT come from the husband being concerned about this procedure.

It comes from the dictate: "I won't let you".

That is a powerful statement. Of course it is gonna engender a powerful response.

~faith,

Timothy.

Exactly.

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Specializes in ER/Geriatrics.

My husband....a nurse as well...laughed his head off when I told him about this thread.....he thought someone being jealous of a bedbath or any other aspect of nursing was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard of.

L

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Specializes in Pediatrics, High-Risk L&D, Antepartum, L.

Just gonna say it again...this is probably more about doing it on fellow students then is about doing it on patients.

I do not and will not have a fellow student bathe me. My husband would not be okay with it either. We both are 100% okay with me doing on a patient of any sex.

It's probably not about giving bed baths it's about the husband not comfortable with the way the school is handling the teaching of it.

There's no reason for students to practice this on each other. It's crosses a line. You are on a different level with students then you are with patients.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Just gonna say it again...this is probably more about doing it on fellow students then is about doing it on patients.

I do not and will not have a fellow student bathe me. My husband would not be okay with it either. We both are 100% okay with me doing on a patient of any sex.

It's probably not about giving bed baths it's about the husband not comfortable with the way the school is handling the teaching of it.

There's no reason for students to practice this on each other. It's crosses a line. You are on a different level with students then you are with patients.

I agree with that...the school seems to be exploitive in that matter. I had a nutrition instructor have a classmate stand up and say; "Explain what features this woman has that indicate malnutrition". This particular student had bags under her eyes, yellowed teeth from coffee and smoking, was underweight although she was 6 months pregnant, had thinning hair and walked with a slump due to lack of confidence. How do you think that student felt being called upon for such scrutiny? No one answered the professor, because we were embarassed for her. But this professor was also the program director. You'd have thought that she would have had more compassion. This same idiot wanted us to perform fingersticks on each other, and because I have a low tolerance of pain, I told her "NO WAY". SHe got upset with me, but I told her that I was not in school to be diagnosed, therefore, there was no reason for me to receive a fingerstick. She had mannequins that squirted blood from the fingers, and that is what I used.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I just remembered another thing that happened at school that was exploitive, in my opinion. During orientation, a uniform salesperson came to measure the students and she brought in several uniforms of various sizes. Now, I am not a big person myself, but I had several female classmates that were quite large. She actually had some of the students put these uniforms on over their clothes in the back of the classroom (with absolutely no privacy) and would loudly say "Oh, you are a size 20" or to those that would say that they required a certain size, she would say "No way, you are much bigger than that..." I thought it was absolutely horrible!! I waited until no one was around and told her what size I wanted, and I told her "Under no circumstances will you shout out my size before this classroom. You are totally unprofessional and inconsiderate of these women". I remember the guys in the class laughing at the women that were struggling to get themselves into these tight uniforms. Now, if they were to simulate bed-baths, it would have been worse. Personally, I believe that the school should offer a better situation for practicing bed baths, whether the students are fully clothed or not. It IS a different circumstance between students and a clinical setting. In spite of HIPPA, you cannot even guarentee privacy in a clinical setting. There is no governing in a classroom setting once class is over.

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Hmmm I think I would not be supportive if my wife came home and said they were going to practice foleys on each other and that a male student would be doing hers… That perhaps would be a line I would not like crossed...

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I think he may of misunderstood a little that you were not going to be taking off your clothes.....maybe not! I think that if you can't get through to him, see if you and him can meet with an instructor and have her help explain what you are going to be doing in school and after. He may just not be clued into the fact that people in the hospital are not there to star in playboy, their sick.

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