My best friend puts down being a nurse - page 3

Every time I have a conversation with my best friend or her family about any nursing aspect or my job as a nursing assistant in med-surg (we obviously all know what my job duties are) all she ever... Read More

  1. by   PudgeMC
    -I will work as a nurse while I'm in med-school whether it's per diem or part-time and if I can handle full-time then so be it - my time will not be wasted
    -I will always have my nursing license and a job if needed

    I doubt that you will be able to work at all (let alone nursing) while in med school. Some schools actually have you sign a contract stating that you will not work while attending said school.

    The second part is true if you keep up with your license.
    I do feel kinda like time is money when it comes to med school. The faster you can get in, the faster you can practice. But like you said, it is your journey and I hope you make it work. Good Luck.
  2. by   FullGlass
    I am sorry your friend is upsetting you. Just be straight forward with her and tell her that her comments are hurtful. Something like: "You are my friend and I know you care about me. I really need your support to get through school. When you say___, it hurts my feelings. I'm sure you didn't mean to do that. Would you please not make such comments anymore?" If that doesn't work, get a different friend.

    In addition, when I read your initial post, it seemed to me your friend might not be insulting you. She might greatly admire you because you are doing something she doesn't feel capable of. Try to assume the best.

    If you friend wants to be a PA, PA schools have strict requirements for patient care experience in order to get admitted. Generally, the requirement is 1,000 hours before one starts PA school. Here is Duke's requirement (#1 ranked PA school by USN&WR): "A minimum of 1,000 hours of patient care experience is required with direct, "hands-on" patient contact (e.g., EMT or paramedic, health educator, RN, patient care attendant or nurse's aide, clinic assistant, Peace Corps volunteer or other cross-cultural health care experience, technologist, therapist, clinical research assistant, etc.). 1,000 hours of patient care experience must be completed."

    In light of the PA clinical requirements, when your friend comments on nursing, change the subject and ask her what she is doing to fulfill her PA school clinical experience requirement. Maybe she is really worried about her ability to complete these requirements, which is why she is commenting your nursing plans.

    Since you have to get a bachelor's in order to get into med school, it might as well be in nursing as long as you complete your med school prereqs. However, expecting to work as an RN while in med school is unrealistic. Med school is full time and many schools require that you do not work. There simply is no time to work given the incredible course load and then starting in the 3rd year, the long clinical hours.

    What you might consider is working as an RN for a couple of years in order to save some money for med school and also make yourself a financially independent adult, so your financial aid for med school is based only on your income, not your parents. There are also some RN employers who would provide financial assistance for an RN going to med school, like the military or VA. In addition, working as an RN for a couple of years could help you decide on a specialty when you become an MD.

    Note: I admire your energy and ambition, but just want to make sure you have realistic expectations. There are very few opportunities for new grad RNs to work per diem. Per diem usually requires 1 to 2 years of RN experience. In addition, most new grad RN employers need full-time RNs, as there is usually a considerable onboarding and ramp up time. Some employers also have a formal training program for new grad RNs.

    Good luck.
  3. by   Have Nurse
    Try not to take it as a personal slur. I don't know her of course, but to me, it sounds as though she deep down, understands that it takes a special person to do what you are about to do. She's right about one thing, you do need a strong stomach. But you also need intelligence, compassion, gentleness, firmness, focus and integrity. You'll do just fine.

    Nursing is a calling. If you are being called. You won't be swayed by negativity. Best to you!!
  4. by   direw0lf
    My classmate is going to med school. He is taking a year in between to do some kind of postgrad premed program to get all his sciences and math in, and going to work as a nurse in that year. I think it's great..he's going to be an amazing physician/surgeon who will not undermine or disrespect nurses!
  5. by   Orion81RN
    Quote from mindfulnursingbabe
    I'm not bringing it up to just bring it up. I could simply just be talking about my day and my point is that the whole conversation is just adverted to how she could never wipe someone's ass or ever will do that or will ever do what nurses do.
    I understand that being friends you want to be able to talk about such a huge thing in your life. Nursing school is all consuming. Its natural to talk about your day. Honestly, if she is worth the effort as a friend, I'd have a small talk with her. I'd tell her that as a friend you will sometimes bring up nursing as it is a huge part of your life, but that YOU FEEL her responses are condescending. Tell her what excites you about nursing, educating her that nursing is nowhere near just doing ADLs.

    HOWEVER, it is very hard to explain to laypeople the scope of what a nurse does. It is imperative that we grow thick skin on this topic because the public has no clue what we do. I recently read a slew of comments on facebook from clueless laypeople about how its not a nurse's job to assess the acuity of patients in the ER. That it requires a Dr. It is EXACTLY the nurse's job to triage patients. Eyeroll. Honestly, though, we just need to grow thick skin. But if you want to be able to talk to her about something exciting in your life, you need to tell her to just be happy for you.
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    May I suggest, this person is no friend of yours AND you need to learn not to care what others think.
  7. by   nursiebean
    I'd just say, "yeah I wipe asses, but I also save lives. Its a messy, wonderful, gross, challenging and rewarding job but I love it and the fulfilment I get from it is more than someone who is in the wrong profession for the wrong reasons."

    Someone has to do the ass-wiping. And tell her you're thankful its you instead of her because it sounds like she has no respect or compassion for the vulnerable patient in the hospital bed. And that's not a put-down; that's a fact that she readily admitted herself.
  8. by   jena5111
    Ehhh...your friend will never become a PA.

    Wanting to do something and ACTUALLY DOING IT are two different things.
  9. by   saskrn
    She doesn't sound like much of a friend. She sounds jealous and insecure.

    Let her say what she wants, just live and enjoy your life. Your happiness is more important than her negative behavior.
  10. by   Garden,RN
    She is probably envious.
  11. by   vintagemother
    I wipe a lot of arses... for those who can't do so for themselves. When I first got into this field, peoples comments bothered me, too.

    But I used to think...what if it was my mom or my dear grandma? I'd want someone to help me/them if I/they couldn't do so for my/themselves.

    Now, as an RN, I wipe a lot of tooshies...people who are sick need help. I do not mind helping people who can't help themselves. Period.

    Plus, I receive a nice paycheck for doing so.

    I don't even care what others say about it. I get paid a decent wage to help these people.

    It's an honor. Lest, as they say, go I.
  12. by   hillyhills
    Honestly, screw everyone's opinion but your own. Nurses are literally the backbone of the hospital & do WAAY more than wipe peoples asses.
    I've gotten that whole "all you're going to do is clean up pee & poop" or "nurses don't do anything" so many times before & all I do is laugh because they're so clueless.
    There's so many different types & levels of nurses too. Generalizing ALL nurses is pretty idiotic of ANYONE to do.

    I work in a hospital & they're always running around from patient to patient. I work with inpatients & pre-/post-op. Never seen them just "wipe up" after people. In fact, we have round-the-clock cleaners going around.

    I don't want to dictate your friendships since this is your best friend, but you really need to get her to shut her mouth on things she doesn't know. It's ignorant & rude for a FRIEND to do.
  13. by   FutureNeonatalNurse
    Quote from mindfulnursingbabe
    Wasting my time? I'm doing quite the opposite, actually.
    -Getting my BSN in 3 years over a biology degree that will take 5
    -Minoring in Advanced Chem/Physics WHILE I'm a nursing major so by the time I graduate with my BSN I will have all pre-requisites for med-school completed
    -Taking a $2400 MCAT preparation course that is highly used by pre-med students
    -I will work as a nurse while I'm in med-school whether it's per diem or part-time and if I can handle full-time then so be it - my time will not be wasted
    -I will always have my nursing license and a job if needed

    My path is my own path, worry about your own <3
    No wonder your friend looks down on you, she is obviously jealous. I wish you the best!