How to confront a disrespectful professor

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Hi, I'm a block 4 nursing student. I'm dealing with what I feel is a disrespectful nursing professor. I recently asked for an extension on a care plan and was refused saying that I'd had more than enough time to complete it and that if I didn't turn it in on time, I wouldn't be able to complete my clinical experience. Now, I am a 37 year old mom with 6 kids who maintained a 4.0 throughout my prerequisites and while I have not been able to maintain a 4.0, I still a reasonable GPA and have not had to repeat any blocks. The week the careplan was due, I had simulation along with its prep, a school nurse clinical along with it's prep, normal prep for class, my bachelors program (I'm in the concurrent enrollment program) work. (And if that weren't enough my kids seemed to be all falling apart at the same time and with my husband working 60+ hours a week, I had to handle stuff at home. I literally asked her for a few more hours to complete it. She later told me "Do not mistake my kindness for a weakness and take advantage of me trying to be fair. This is my only warning." I honestly feel like I deserve more respect than to be treated like some slacker student who is trying to get out of an assignment. So... I am planning to confront her. By confront, I of course mean a sit down where we have a civil conversation about the matter. So my question is... How should I handle this? I want to approach her in a manner that is respectful and actually resolves the situation. But I need help figuring out how to do this. I've already requested an appointment with her.

Specializes in Adult Primary Care.

Do not "confront". Get the work done and move forward.

Specializes in Pediatrics.

Cancel the meeting and use that time to work on your assignments to get ahead of where you would have been otherwise. That is the first step you can take to make sure you don't get in that situation again. If I was your instructor I would wonder why a student that was so busy that she could not complete her assignments in time could still find the time to "confront" me about upholding the posted deadlines.

I hope you can get things worked out with your instructor! I know nursing school is hard and we have a lot of responsibilities that can usually stretch us thin. Definitely go to that appointment and just try to meet your instructor half way, so if you turned in your care plan late simply ask if she could take some points off instead of giving you a 0. Then just use this as a lesson learned and make sure to follow all the deadlines because they can be set in stone.

I agree you have a lot on your plate, but so do hundreds of nursing students out there. When you say you are "37 with 6 kids..." you are stating it as if that entitles you to special privileges, such as the extension on the assignments that you requested. Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but that is how it reads.

The professor wasn't disrespectful whatsoever; they are holding you to the same accountability as everyone else, just as you will be at work.

You can't use the excuse, "I'm 37, have 6 kids, and my husband just pulled an 60 hour work week" once you're in work and time is of the essence to provide meds and treatments. The guy writhing in agony won't give a crap about your personal situation, he'll just want his pain meds! The doc won't give you an extension - he'll want you scrubbed up and ready for surgery at the scheduled time! The head-nurse won't care how many offspring you have if you fail to document your actions....

I wouldn't confront your Professor. I would get as much done as possible, turn it in at the due date, and suck it up.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.

After reading the original post several times, I'm convinced it has to be a troll post. If for some crazy reason it's not, hopefully you learn a tough life lesson when you see the ultimate outcome and repercussions of this meeting you think you're entitled to.

I can not even begin to imagine what life with six kids is like and I congratulate you for getting this far in your Program without having everything crumble. You are most definitely a hard worker and very dedicated.

I do agree with the other posters that it does not appear that the professor was being disrespectful towards you. She set a deadline and expected you to

meet it. Yes, I applaud you for asking for an extension when life was getting a little hairy, but I do not think that you should have expected to get an extension. Hope for the best and expect the worst is all you can do. I am not sure if other professors have given you extensions in the past, but she was within her right to say no. Perhaps many other students had come to her asking for extensions or you have asked for an extension before.

As a 37 year old mother of 6 and a husband working 60+ hours a week, work hard to finish your program. Get help with childcare as finish the time you have left. If you still intend to have the meeting with your professor, be open about your situation and let her know that you were not intentionally trying to take advantage of her. Apologize for the confusion and perhaps ask if she has any advice that she can offer you. A confrontation never ends well.

1 Votes
Specializes in Med/Surg.
I would advise you rather than wasting time thinking about how to "confront" your professor because you think you are entitled to special considerations, you spend it getting that care plan done and turned in on time. Problem solved.

Bingo.

The instructor was not being disrespectful. She simply denied your extension request, which is her right. Just complete as much as you can, then turn the assignment in on time. Part of nursing school is learning to juggle priorities. It does sound like you have a lot going on in your life and maybe you should consider trying not to do so much. Perhaps you need to go to school part time. Good luck.

I'm just curious if everyone here is so desensitized to innaproriate language being used in this feild that they dont even deem certain agressive, cursing, yelling or condesending tones as unprofessional and iapropriate. I read the OP as saying the response she got was unprofessional and unessasary when a simple "Sorry, it's late no exceptions" would have sufficed. It seems like she was trying to convery that she is typically a responsible student and wanted her instructor to know that she had what she considered a family emergency and requested an extension. There shouldnt be harm in asking the question. It seems like a bit of an agressive response, but obviously we dont have all the details. I have witnessed culturally insensitive behavior and innapropriate cursing when it just wasnt necessary. Do you agree that the tone and language used in a response should be professional and appropriate? I would never get away with yelling at people in the pharmacy industry like that.

I'm just curious if everyone here is so desensitized to innaproriate language being used in this feild that they dont even deem certain agressive, cursing, yelling or condesending tones as unprofessional and iapropriate. I read the OP as saying the response she got was unprofessional and unessasary when a simple "Sorry, it's late no exceptions" would have sufficed. It seems like she was trying to convery that she is typically a responsible student and wanted her instructor to know that she had what she considered a family emergency and requested an extension. There shouldnt be harm in asking the question. It seems like a bit of an agressive response, but obviously we dont have all the details. I have witnessed culturally insensitive behavior and innapropriate cursing when it just wasnt necessary. Do you agree that the tone and language used in a response should be professional and appropriate? I would never get away with yelling at people in the pharmacy industry like that.

Hmmmm ... Maybe I am "so desensitized," because I don't read anything in the original post that I consider particularly unprofessional or inappropriate. The OP says nothing about any "yelling" (which would certainly be inappropriate, as would cursing, but there's no mention of anything like that). Also, on this site, we always only have the poster's version of the story. As you note, we don't have all the details. It may well be that this isn't the first time the poster has sought special treatment and the instructor is getting fed up.

Not liking the answer you get is not the same as the other person being inappropriate or "disrespectful."

Specializes in LTC.

I'm still in nursing school -- and only my second semester. So I'd say I'm not desensitized. I saw nothing in the OP about yelling or cursing... because it isn't there.

What I do see is that OP thought she "should" have been given a few extra hours to complete an assignment that the instructor felt they'd had plenty of time to do. I can imagine that perhaps the sense of entitlement, or frustration, or feeling of being slapped in the face with reality ... could have shown in the OP's response to the instructor. Whether it was verbal or nonverbal -- we can "read" people. So the instructor issued a firm -- and IMO, professional -- warning. "This isn't going to fly, so don't put me in this position again." That's my (non-desensitized) take on it.

I'm a recent graduate of similar age, so I'm imagining myself in the OP's position. Yes, life definitely happens, but that's not your professor's problem. It happens to everyone, not just just the OP, so I feel there should be no expectation of special treatment. I guess it never hurts to ask, which was done once. The instructor made it very clear, in my opinion, to not ask again. At this point, I would drop it and hand in the work I had completed thus far. Why bite the hand that feeds you? Or to spell it out...why risk angering the person who can refuse to allow you to attend clinical? I'd be begging for mercy, not "confronting" her!

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

OP has not returned.

Telling

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