Feeling so Bummed

  1. I am feeling so bummed. I just don't know what to do. I just started nursing school about three weeks ago. The great thing about it is that I was able to get in with one of my friends that I did all my pre-req's with. We've known each other for over 4 plus years. Now in nursing school we have different days in labs and at clinicals, however we still see each other in theory class. I feel like she's separating herself from me. She's not including me into the study groups she gets invited to and she sort of ignores me almost purposely. I have invited her to any and every study group that I have been invited to. I have never left her out because we went in saying that at least we got in the same time and am able to help one another through it. I feel like she doesn't want me to be a part of whatever she is a part of, almost hiding it from me. I just don't know what to do, and it's hindering me being able to study and focus on what is really important. I know this isn't what nursing school is about to worry about friendships but it still affects me. I am the most caring and giving person ever and I don't deserve this. What am I suppose to do?
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    About nursingforme2

    Joined: Sep '16; Posts: 15; Likes: 18

    41 Comments

  3. by   Sour Lemon
    Move on and make new friends. Being clingy will only drive sane people away even more quickly.
  4. by   llg
    Quote from Sour Lemon
    Move on and make new friends. Being clingy will only drive sane people away even more quickly.
    Wisest advice ever. Let her go. Move on. "Needy" is not attractive: it drives people away from you.
  5. by   NurseGirl525
    You are an adult, correct? Pull those big girl panties on and do your thing.
  6. by   Been there,done that
    I was so busy in nursing school, I did not notice what anyone else was doing.
    This one relationship is not worth messing up your education and future career.

    If you truly can't focus because of this, speak with your doctor and get some help.

    Good luck, now go study.
  7. by   nursingforme2
    Thank you so much guys. I feel so much better! I know who I am, and I know what is important. I will not let this get in the way. Move on, I am an adult and I don't care if by the end of all of this I am with the cool kids or not, or if I get invited or not-that's not what's important. The main thing is that I pass and graduate and move on from this. I just want to thank you guys for giving me the "tough love" answers I so desperately needed.
  8. by   nursingforme2
    Thank you
  9. by   nursingforme2
    I was really going to let this go, I really was. I can't help it if it's affecting me emotionally. I just feel so sick to my stomach, and I can't study. It wouldn't be so hard if it was coming from her. Actually, if I didn't get invited to any study groups I would be totally fine! But for the fact that she is not including me in is what's getting to me. So, there's a study group going on in a couple days. It's mainly with the people she knows on her clinical days. However, one of the girls that I know is hosting and she invited me to go. She informed me of who was coming, of course my so called good friend is going, and she didn't mention anything to me. She doesn't know I will be going, or if I'm going go. I haven't decided yet. What should I do, not go or go and not let her know I'm going? I just don't understand. Why do I have struggle with not fitting in? I just feel so isolated, like something must be wrong with me? Maybe I'm not cool enough for everyone. Why am I letting this hinder my studying? I guess, I went into this hearing that in nursing school is where you will establish caring relationships with these people for the rest of your life. I am not feeling this right now. Will it get better? How was it with your guy's experience? I am not being needy, I just feel like why is she not inviting me. I have done nothing wrong. We still hang out in theory and see each other, but yet she doesn't mention outside study groups? Why?
  10. by   Meeshie
    You could... oh I don't know... ask her?
  11. by   bossman
    I didn't realize this was high school. Get over it your friend is a flake and is not going to invite you. Make new friends because your friend is a less intelligent individual. You can let this "less intelligent individual" run your life or you can move on.
    Last edit by TheCommuter on Sep 4, '16 : Reason: terms of service
  12. by   Cat365
    Not defending her, she may be pulling away, but as a side note I would not extend an invitation to go to someone else's house. I was raised to think that was rude. The person who owns the house should decide who is invited.
  13. by   iluvivt
    I was never a fan of study groups.I did much better all by myself as far as studying goes.If you are a good student you end up wasting a lot of time teaching others and while that cements the knowledge in your head you could me moving along instead of rehashing. If you are uncomfortable asking this person then you must move on and worry about your own learning.I suspect. I would study my rear end off and ace every test as success is the sweetest revenge.You DO NOT need this girl to succeed.Do you really want to be around somone that has made it a point to to exclude you.....NO you don"t! Perhaps she is jealous of you...perhaps she wanted this all to herself and when you got on she did not feel special anymore.....who knows.....but it is time to get busy and you will make friends in due time.Just take one day at a time and do what you need to do.It's not the end of the world if you have to study alone.It worked for me as I graduated at the top of my class of 88 studemts....not once did I attend a study group
  14. by   BonnieSc
    I've never heard anyone say that nursing school is where you develop caring friendships for life! Literally never. I'm in casual touch with a few people from nursing school on facebook, but that's it. I think those who still live in the area are probably in touch a bit more. Sometimes in my current hospital someone will say "oh, I went to school with her!" but I never hear anything about groups of friends from nursing school getting together or anything like that.

    Most people are in nursing school to focus, pass licensure, get a job, and move on. You immediately spread in a million directions.

    Make friends in your own lab and clinical group. It's as simple as that. Next semester you'll have new groups and retain some of those friends while making new ones. But don't expect them to be your BFFs for life... or for now, even.

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