Everyone Won't Succeed. And That's Okay!

[TheCommuter]

Everyone is capable of academic success, but some people arrive at the table better prepared than others.

The controversial truth is that not all people will succeed in school, no matter how badly some individuals may want it. And, in my opinion, this is perfectly okay. For instance, if everyone in our society becomes a surgeon, then the prestige and excellent pay that characterize this occupation would drop. It's the same story with nursing: if all 200 million+ adults in the United States had chosen to become nurses, then the status and solid middle-income pay associated with nursing would plummet.

We actually need ditch diggers, convenience store clerks, janitors, sanitation workers and other types of employees whose positions do not require education and training at the collegiate level. These workers are absolutely vital to our economy and I don't know what we'd do without them.

In addition, many young adults are being stirred toward college with a lack of direction when they would thrive better in a focused apprenticeship or trade school environment. Most of us have used the services of plumbers, mechanics, electricians and HVAC technicians. Workers in these fields earn decent money, too.

Moreover, parental stimulation and social class can be major influences in a person's success or failure in the realm of higher education. For example, a 12-year-old boy named Ernie wants to be a doctor someday. Ernie is being brought up in a poor household where his parents live from paycheck to paycheck. His mother is a seamstress who barely graduated from high school, reads at a 6th grade level, and does not know how to do math beyond basic arithmetic. His father is an illiterate short order cook who knows basic arithmetic and dropped out of school in the 9th grade.

Even though Ernie has four younger siblings, there are no books anywhere in their cramped apartment, and his parents are unable to assist with their children's homework assignments because they do not always understand the work their kids bring home. Financial stress exists in the household, and sometimes the electricity is disconnected for weeks at a time due to non-payment.

Ernie's parents have experienced nothing but personal failures with the educational system, and they do not discuss school with any of their kids. The parents are present-oriented, live in survival mode, remain totally focused on the 'here and now,' and do not ever discuss occasions that might dot their children's futures such as career planning and possible college attendance.

Most of us are cognizant that a future doctor must have a remarkably solid background in science and math, combined with exceptional reading comprehension and critical thinking skills. Ernie's parents were not able to inculcate any of these things into him at home. Moreover, even the best teachers in the public school system can do only so much with unprepared students. No matter how passionately Ernie wants to be a doctor, the cumulative effects of his disadvantaged background are helping to obstruct his ambitious dreams. If he fails to become a doctor, too many people would be quick to blame his personal failings when greater forces were working against him since birth.

People need to be oriented toward education well before they reach those formative preschool years. A disadvantaged child enters the school system with a diminished vocabulary, academic skills that are not up to par, and more distractions in the household than their more advantaged classmates. In other words, some individuals start horribly behind in the trek to success.

[DatMurse]

This is the old nature versus nurture argument. We have not proven that either are definitive. I think it is best not to pigeon hole people. Also, it is rather condescending to those that went to trade school to imply that their skills aren't complicated. There once was a time when nurses were looked on in the same way; in some places still are. I would tread the water very carefully on this one.

agreed. There are too many factors involved to say that someone cannot jump from one social class to another. whether they rise or fall.

Growing up, my family has risen, from an apartment to a 5 bedroom home. Father was a police dispatcher and became a PC consultant for many big name attorneys in Houston. He has also befriended many of them through his professionalism.

Not everyone is bound for greatness and now everyone is bound for failure. The only time you truly fail is if you do not test your limits

[liketheairport]

This is the old nature versus nurture argument. We have not proven that either are definitive. I think it is best not to pigeon hole people. Also, it is rather condescending to those that went to trade school to imply that their skills aren't complicated. There once was a time when nurses were looked on in the same way; in some places still are. I would tread the water very carefully on this one.

If you speak to psychologists, they'd probably say both nature AND nature. But, that's also a VERY generalized and non-specific way to think of it.

I will say coming from a middle-class, single mom household, it may have seemed like I had it easy. Looks can be deceiving.

[Mrs.Angel]

While you point out the obvious hurdles that Ernie would have to overcome in life, these hurdles do not relegate him to a life of poverty. There are plenty of Ernie's out there who came from humble beginning and who have moved on to be great "successes" in life. For this reason, this article bothered me. You have essentially said that because Ernie came from an undesirable situation he has no change in life to reach his dreams. Have you not heard of mentoring programs, or Head Start as one reader mentioned? There are plenty of outside influences who can make up for the lack of educational interest in the home. True, it will be that much harder for Ernie but its not impossible. And the sooner people stop judging and expecting failure the better off the Ernie's of this world will be.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

Yes, the world needs tradesman. But let me tell you my ex who is a HVAC guy with his own business has a 2-year degree in it and makes much more money than probably 85% of the people in this country. He sacrificed everything for his business. We had a paid for home, a paid for summer home, 3 paid for cars, and lots of money in the bank. I didn't work and I could spend whatever I wanted, when I wanted. Did money make us happy? The answer is no. Behind the perfect life, lay a life of disarray. Now, he's lost his family, and losing half of his fortune. Now, I will have to worry about money for the first time in a long time, and you know what? I've never been happier. Success is measured differently by different people. My ex valued money, I value security and happiness.

[unknowngenius10]

Eh, I have to disagree with this article. The situations Ernie has to deal with are up to him if he lets them hinder him or not. My parents were never involved in my schooling, asked about my grades, or anything like that. I barely met the requirements to graduate highschool but once I got to college and was focusing on classes towards my future career I was motivated and always maintain a high GPA. Doesn't matter where you come from, you can move past anything if you choose to.

Only to a certain degree. I think many people missed some of the points from the article. Maybe for you, being successful means becoming a nurse. But what about those people who come from similar backgrounds as yours and dream about becoming a Doctor? it would almost be impossible ( maybe possible in some rare cases) for they to accomplish those goals. And if not being able to become a Doctor means failure, then those people could never achieve success even if they were motivated enough. The truth is that your background will certainly determine your aspirations for a career.

[Concerto_in_C, BSN, RN]

Just FYI, if you are a registered nurse making $20-30/hr, more or less, depending on part of USA and level of experience, you are making more money than 90% of the entire population of planet earth.

Obviously jobs that pay this well should be harder to get, because if they are easy to get, every dishwasher (no disrespect indented) in your town will quit what they are doing and switch to nursing. This will cause several problems: first of all, the job market will become saturated with more nursing grads than ever before (it's hard to find work already), and second the wages will go down, because that what you get when you flood the market with hordes of new mediocre candidates.

Also, it is reasonable to suspect the quality of nursing care throughout the country will deteriorate, increasing complications and costs, increasing lawsuits and complaints, and hurting us all collectively as a professional group.

In this sense, the learning curve of science-heavy programs like nursing or medicine or physical therapy is your best friend, because it protects your status as a professional. This learning curve explains why healthcare professionals, engineers and other "science types" have such dramatically better career outcomes as compared to arts & humanities majors and other "easy" majors.

[EmilyEmily]

It's really not okay to not succeed. All your money goes down the drain and what do you have to show for it? Nothing

[NDXUFan]

Stanford Economist Thomas Sowell grew up as an African-American, years ago in the Deep South without any indoor plumbing until the age of nine years old. Dr. Sowell worked during the day and went to college at night.

"80 percent of "poor" households have air-conditioning today, which less than half the population of America had in 1970. Nearly three-quarters of households in poverty own a motor vehicle, and nearly one-third own more than one motor vehicle.

Virtually everyone living in "poverty," as defined by the government, has color television, and most have cable TV or satellite TV. More than three-quarters have either a VCR or a DVD player, and nearly nine-tenths have a microwave oven."

ND:

Most people do not realize that when poverty stats are published, various government assistance programs, such as Food stamps, Medicaid, and the like are not counted in those stats. In fact, the average poor individual in the United States has more living space than a Middle class individual does in Western Europe........ I know, I used to work in a large metro county welfare building. Most money that goes to welfare, goes to the pockets of government bureaucrats, in the form of salaries and benefits, only $.28 out of every dollar goes to the individual in need. In my experience, most of the individuals that come to the public assistance building are very young individuals, not seniors. We were lucky to see a senior twice a year, if we saw them that much, every blue moon. My mom had a very tough life by police standards and was able to get outstanding grades in school, in the early 60's. The nonsense that children who live in poverty cannot learn, is just that, complete nonsense. My Dad who became a Chemist, was one of 12 children with a mom and Dad, who worked as a firefighter, no, they did not make the same money as the current firefighters. No, his parents did not go to college, his mom graduated from the 8th grade, that is what they did in those days. They did not tolerate the nonsense and misbehavior that today's parents tolerate....... Where I went to school, students who back talked the teacher were going to face some angry parents when they came home, it was not going to be pleasant. It is beyond me why we tolerate the obnoxious behavior of thugs and criminals, as well as self entitled children.

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

"80 percent of "poor" households have air-conditioning today, which less than half the population of America had in 1970. Nearly three-quarters of households in poverty own a motor vehicle, and nearly one-third own more than one motor vehicle.

Virtually everyone living in "poverty," as defined by the government, has color television, and most have cable TV or satellite TV. More than three-quarters have either a VCR or a DVD player, and nearly nine-tenths have a microwave oven."

I'm surprised you didn't include cell phones. Color TVs haven't been considered luxury items since 1985. Air conditioners, cars, color TVs, VCRs, and DVD players can be found very cheap, or free, either secondhand or through charity.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

The people who emerge from the truly impoverished parts of our society to become financially and academically successful are such a tiny percentage that they can safely be called the exception that proves the rule.

We live in a society. And every society since the beginning of time has economic classes. The wealthy elite among these classes has an obvious interest in maintaining this status quo. Our society is no different. Why do you think the poor more or less remain poor generation after generation, while the rich remain rich? It's clearly offensive to suggest that the poor who fail to rise above their station fail to do so because they lack "gumption", or whatever. Yet this is exactly what one suggests when one implies that we "all" have equal opportunity to become doctors, lawyers, etc. It is not a coincidence that the vast majority of doctors come from, at least, an upper-middle class background, while the "Ernies" of America gravitate toward less glamorous careers. Not only does Ernie have "hurdles" to overcome in his quest to become a doctor, there are also so many parts of society that, by design or not, will simply prevent someone from Ernie's background from ever doing so. Since we're talking about education, let's take a look at our school system.

Schools are funded by local property taxes. Kids born in the posh suburbs attend, from the start, the best funded, staffed and supplied schools in the country. These are the kids who get their own ipads, the smallest classrooms and the highest paid, most educated teachers. Kids in working class suburbs will attend lees spectacular, but still decent, schools. Kids born in inner city Detroit have almost zero local property tax revenue for their schools, so they get to attend broken down, glorified daycare centers where making it out alive without getting shot or stabbed is a "win". And you're gonna tell me that if Ernie in inner city Detroit would only reach for the stars, and want his dreams bad enough, then "outside influences" would be enough to make him a doctor? Come, now. To simply survive and stay out of prison in places like Detroit or inner city LA or whatever requires an incredible amount of intelligence, wit and resourcefulness. The kids who do so are already successful in life, even if they're high school dropouts. Their staying alive took a heck of a lot more effort and presence of mind than the rich kid who went to medical school could ever dream of.

AMEN!!!

Thank you for this post!!!!

My rant of the YEAR...maybe for the next years is for people to REALLY go into these areas with out the sound bites, vitriol, and politicism/partisan BS...and look at these areas OBJECTIVELY...and you would agree with the OP and THIS post REALISTICALLY.

To disagree is to continue the hamster wheel of fantasy.

Each counter argument on "choice" is how to copse when no bank wants to do business in a place that has NO money pumping out of it??? Oh, the business is pushing the poor out of the way and to claim land to more "prosperous" individuals...google redlining...where do they go???what "choices" do the have when the one with the economic power pushes you to the way side??? NONE.

*off soapbox*

[2k15NurseExtern4u, BSN, RN]

The only issue that I have with this article is that it implies that one must be a college grad to be "successful" and that its okay to "settle" for a job that doesn't require skill or a degree because those jobs are needed. It also seems as if the author expects Earnie to fail because of his background.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Head start is not very successful. The gains kids make pre-kindergarten start to flatten out by the third grade and very few find long-term "success". After their head-start program they still have all the problems they had before plus being enrolled in poorly performing schools.[/quote']

True...I don't even want to get into the reasons why it flattens out and what the information is extrapolated into-projection of prisions in a given area.