Condom Teaching Plan for Middle Schoolers?

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Sep 30, 2007

Excellent advice, queenjean.

User123456 · Sep 30, 2007

lots of great suggestions but i cant get past the middle school age group, call me prude. i was playing with barbies not memberes at that age. geesh!

cjulian214 · Sep 30, 2007

Thanks for all the ideas!

I guess I was just trying to find ways to not focus on the condom bit...I'm feeling a little uncomfortable talking to little kids about it. Also, I worry about the thought process of kids that age. I don't think they really use logic to think much about the consequences (STDs, pregnancy rates)....they dont care because "it wont happen to them". I like the role playing exercises...I wonder how I can work those into the teaching plan smoothly. If you actually give them things to say, they might be more willing to use those concepts in the real world!

Thanks again

tencat · Sep 30, 2007

It would be really great if parents would do their jobs and teach kids about sex. However, too many parents today neglect to teach their children much of anything, unfortunately. When I taught middle school I saw too many twelve year olds who were pregnant. So to all of you who think kids that age aren't having sex....they sure as heck are. And a lot of them think that oral sex doesn't even count as sex at all.

I am all for sex-ed for mid-schoolers, but I don't think a student nurse should be charged with opening this particular can of worms. It's not fair to you because you will not necessarily have the backing of the school if parents become irate (as many probably will, especially in a conservative area such as Texas/New Mexico border). It will be too easy for the teacher and/or school to say "we never thought she was going to teach THAT....." and leave you out to hang.

If you are teaching a subject such as this, it really is a better idea to separate boys and girls. Boys are usually about two years behind the girls in maturity level at this age, and they may need a slightly different slant to the whole thing.

Sheesh, if it were me, even with my teaching background, I would decline the assignment.

PMFB-RN, RN · Sep 30, 2007

I agree with Logos, my kid would be pulled out of any school that handed out condoms to middle schoolers and/or presented highly-charged sexual content to mixed groups of boys and girls.

*** I went to a middle school that had free condoms available to 8th graders. I remember thinking that for some it was too late and they should have made them available in 7th grade as some students were already having sex and not just a few. I was one of them. I feel lucky that I was provided with a quality sex education at a young age, even though it came two years after I started having sex.

indigo girl · Sep 30, 2007

Just reading this thread has been an education. The world is really different now.

I think that some of us older nurses are having a difficult time realizing this.

Thank you to all of the youngsters that are telling it like it is. We have to

work with "what is".

I wish that things were different, but they aren't.

MB37 · Sep 30, 2007

Thanks queen jean - I tried to formulate a response a couple times to this thread, but couldn't think of a really constructive (and helpful to the OP) way to post it. And OP, if you are supposed to be teaching condom usage, you have to teach condom usage. I definitely agree with those who said middle school is maybe too late - I didn't have sex until I was 18 and out of high school, but people certainly were when I was in junior high - 15 years ago. My high school had a special program for teens who were already parents - they took core classes along with parenting, and got child care in return while they were in school. And while I have great parents, my mother has always been uncomfortable discussing anything remotely sexual - I had to teach myself how to use a tampon, let alone a condom! I learned everything from books, movies, the schoolyard (learned about oral sex on the bus at age 7), and 5th, 7th, and 8th grade sex ed in health classes.

allnurses Guide · Sep 30, 2007

It amazes me that people can't talk about sex. But then, I'm amazed when my son's Kindergarten teacher talks to me about parents who NEVER read a book to their kids. That seems impossible.

I brought home posters of close-up views of STD's and pulled them out when my boys and their friends were over and we would have a little chat. . . . That is just one example.

I'm not one of the parents who doesn't believe that kids are having sex very young. I don't have blinders on.

I wish you luck with your assignment.

steph

queenjean · Sep 30, 2007

lots of great suggestions but i cant get past the middle school age group, call me prude. i was playing with barbies not memberes at that age. geesh!

You may have been wholesomely playing with barbies (or were you playing "honeymoon" with Barbie and Ken???? I remember that....), but I guarantee some of your classmates were not. It's been 20+ years since I was in middle school, and I was having sex, as were most of my friends. When my mom was in middle school, a girl in her class "disappeared" for a year, shipped off to her aunt in Chicago to have a baby and give it up for adoption. My great aunt was an ER nurse for decades; she remembers in the 40s and 50s all the young, young girls who came in, sick or dying from illegal abortions. She was a staunch conservative Republican in every way, except she was an ardant supporter of abortion rights, because of that experience.

As long as kids have been hormonal, some of them have been having sex. The only reason neither myself nor my friends became pregnant or contracted any STDs was because of the Health Department. Somehow one of us found out that we could go there for cheap pills and free condoms, and that they wouldn't tell our parents. Bless those gals, it must have broke their hearts to see our 14 and 15 year old faces there, getting pills and condoms and pregnancy tests--but those women did more good than they will ever know.

When I was 17, my mom sat down to have "the talk" with me, and to ask me if I needed to be on the pill. I was like, "Uh, you are three years too late, I've been on the pill since I was 14." She about died. I started talking about sex in age appropriate terms when my girls were in preschool. By the time they were 7 or 8, they knew the basics of sex, how to protect against pregnancy, and where to get birth control and condoms. An Illustrated Guide to Dermatological Conditions was helpful as well. We talk about self respect and respect for your loved ones all the time. They know that if they ever need to talk about it, they can come to me; but that if they feel like they can't, they can talk to one of my friends in complete confidence. We don't ever have "the talk" about sex; it just comes up in conversation sometimes, and we go with it.

But I know that most of their classmates don't have situations like that at home. Better they learn it too early in school at a slide show from a nervous nursing student than too late with a positive pregnancy test or a nasty case of gonorrhea!

Mexarican · Oct 2, 2007

Hey Cjulian...

Not a problem. This is exactly what i did for seven years before nursing school this fall. I've done about 1000 or so of these presentations in the seven years i did this working for the health department and planned parenthood as well as HIV/STD education, outreach and prevention before nursing school this fall. The schools would call the health department or planned parenthood and schedule me for several days for their classes to discuss topics raning from healthy choices regarding sex to puberty. Are these 6 graders or are they 8th graders?? There is a big difference. I could email a copy of an outline i've used for middle schoolers, if you want. i averaged several presentations a month on this exact topic since most middle school teachers and high school teachers would rather have someone else come in and do these topics. Handing out condoms is not unheard of but double check with the teacher to make sure that all the appropriate parent notifications have been made. I believe that you mentioned this was in texas?? Handing out condoms would be appropriate. Usually conservative states/towns have high rates of teen pregnancy and STDS for their sexually active youth because of the unwillingness of the parents and school districts to teach comprehensive sex education (this means abstinence AND BC options, STD/HIV info and condom use is taught). Sadly, many parents "think" their "kids" are not thinking about this and they are grossly mistaken in thinking that. Furthermore the only sex education many of those same preteens recieve at home is simply "do not have sex until you are married" sort of speech. Which is fine to teach your children your set of family morals/values but that alone is NOT enough to protect your children. Think of it this way, Since many of us are in nursing school we can appreciate the fact that all nursing programs drill home the the idea of "critical thinking". A huge component of this is "GATHERING" all the necessary information and assessing the situation "before" making a decision. Critical thinking is also crucial to making decisions in life and we teach this to our kids in every area of life EXCEPT when it comes to sex. It's almost like we change our approach when in fact that is the absolute BEST approach to take when teaching about abstinence and sex. Preteens and teens many times are not taught to critically think regarding sexual behavior. Like I mentioned before they are simply told to "Not have sex". Well the problem with that is that when the teen is faced with peer pressure they simply have no critically thinking skills to understand "why they PERSONALLY should not have sex." Whether we like or not NONE of us is going to make that decision for our child, not one of us. That decision is that young persons' and theirs alone. The only influence we have over them is to teach them to think critically and that INCLUDES giving them all the information! Many parents don't want to give their kids "all" the information to be able to make that decision for fear of putting ideas in their head or promoting sexual behavior, what an erroneous way of thinking. Nothing could be further from the truth. Unfortunatley, this creates, although not intentionally, an ignorant child who cannot think for themselves, easily swayed by friends. They were told what to think and not taught how to think. More parents need to realize that providing information about condoms, BC and safer sex ALONG with Abstinence actually DELAYS sexual behavior of all kinds and creates responsible young adults who can criticaly think and cannot be swayed by peer pressure. Now off my soap box...

You'd be amazed at how much potential middle schoolers have to critically think. Approach the topic from a Healthy sexuality angle. Abstinence and critical thinking should be the foundation for all the information you provide, expecially for this age group. Allow for some humor because topics of this kind are easier to handle when there's humor. There will be giggles, that's ok. It's their way of dealing with the topic. This does not mean its ok to disrespect the topic. Lay the ground rules up front. I usually start by saying it's ok to have fun with the topic but it is never ok to be disrespectful to the topic, myself and your classmates or their beliefs. Having them write questions ahead of time is an excellent idea. I do that myself. It's best to inform the teacher a few days before you arrive to have the middle schoolers write questions on a little pieces of paper with no name and put it in a box the teacher sets out somewhere where it is accesible but secure where no one can look throught the questions ahead of time. Ask lots of questions and avoid lectures. Look up activities to fill the time that teach but keep them engaged. You will see time flys by if you do this. Email me or PM me if you want any ideas about activities.

Mex

Mexarican · Oct 2, 2007

Oh and one more thing, i wouldn't try to have them seperated. It's real important that girls learn the challenges young men face whenit comes to sex and the boys learn the challenges young women face when it comes to sex. Seperating them feels like you are hiding information about boys from the girls and information about girls from the boys. This doesn't lead to the atmosphere of openess that these topics should be discussed in.

Mex

queenjean · Oct 19, 2007

So, how'd the presentation go? I'm excited for you and interested in what you ended up developing and what the student response was.

Let us know.

J